I'm No Copywriter But...

Steve I see that you tried really hard with this, but there's a plethora of problems going on including IMO how the product is positioned and what you are offering readers.

I have a feeling that your readers could care less about the following information and they JUST want to learn how to relax:

Best of Luck!

Steve,

The question that you say must be answered "yes" is intriguing. It generates curiosity. I suggest that you use it as a hook in your headline.

Headlines that contain both a benefit and curiosity do well.

Here's a very good article that talks more about it ...

http://www.marketingbullets.com/bullet23.htm

Alex

You copy's pretty bad.. I suggest reading books that are recommended in the sticky in the copywriting forum.

As it is... there is so much wrong with this page that I don't think a critique will help you.

Before you go into all thta effort though... are you sure there's a market for this product?

Maybe if you positioned it as "The Secrets to Selecting a Good Root Canal Dentist" or something it kinda might work... but I wonder how many people are willing to pay money for a book about learning to relax during a root canal?

At the moment there is nothing that makes me think I should buy your book as opposed to doing a Google search.

-Dan

Hello,

You have focused too much on "Keyword Density". Repitition of the keyword "Root Canal" is making the copy unattractive. Just sprinkle the keyword strategically throughout the copy. Later, with proper off page optimization you will be able to rank high.

You need to focus mainly on benefits. You may want to describe what powerful information each chapter contains and how it will benefit the reader.

Regards.

Doctor, I don't mind your page at all. Pretty good job for a dentist. But I do have a problem with your basic premise of "The Relaxed Root Canal" and "Make Your Root Canal Like a Day on the Beach". Nothing will ever convince me that root canal therapy is relaxing or like a day at the beach. I've had the procedure several times and whilst it wasn't painful there is certainly a lot of anxiety attached to it. There's nothing remotedly "relaxed" about it. Its high anxiety. So I think you're off target there. "Completely Painless Root Canal" would be more believable.

As for the copy...you need to add more. You must have a million stories you can draw on. You start out with a yarn and then it goes nowhere. Expand on it. And add other stories.

My advice to you Doctor is to hire a professional copywriter. You're selling yourself short trying to do it yourself. The ebook is a GREAT idea - but not the title. And I find these bullets HIGHLY interesting.

• What is a root canal?
• Will my root canal hurt?
• Should my tooth hurt after my root canal?
• What can I do to prevent root canals?
• Is a dead tooth worth saving?
• Why do root canals cost so much?
• How can I receive the highest quality root canal?

I want to read more. But you're not ringing my bells.

I'd love to get my teeth into this gig. ;-) One root canal would pay my fees probably.

I agree with Paul...

There's not really a market for this, imho.

Never had a root canal, but if I did I'd trust my dentist to council me, make sure I'm comfortable and give me lots of drugs to make it through.

I pay him for his professional opinion, and I trust him MUCH more than an anonymous source on the internet.

-Scott