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Warriors... Rip me apart (Need Feedback)

by Raiel Schwartz
21 replies
Here it is:
PLRNicheClub - Cash Generating Private Label Rights Products Delivered Monthly

I've added the video last week. Trying to see if it will increase conversions or not... I noticed a drop in sales since I uploaded the video, but tbh I can't say if it's because of the video or just a coincidence.

Warriors, in your experience do videos increase conversions?

Google Analytics reports that my average site viewing has increased substantially, and I attribute that to the auto-playing video, but what good is that if it's not making more sales?

General comments on my copy and improvements I can add will be appreciated as well.
#optimize #salespage
  • Profile picture of the author Kevin-VirtualProfitCenter
    Split test with and without the video. Use Google Optimizer:

    http://www.Google.com/websiteoptimizer/

    It will tell you how well each is converting.
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    • Profile picture of the author Raiel Schwartz
      Originally Posted by Kevin-VirtualProfitCenter View Post

      Split test with and without the video. Use Google Optimizer:

      http://www.Google.com/websiteoptimizer/

      It will tell you how well each is converting.
      Thanks for that. I will check it out soon. I just hope that having two different versions of my salesletter won't mess up affiliate tracking or anything of that sort (I use Post Affiliate Pro) but I will check it out soon.
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      • Profile picture of the author Ashley Gable
        Right after you say:

        Is it worth putting your reputation on the line?
        you go right in and state how to build wealth.

        It was kind of jarring. There was no fluidity from your opening statements to the "money making" part.

        I am not a professional, and that was the only thing I noticed!
        I'll let the professionals step in now

        Ashley
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  • Profile picture of the author Raiel Schwartz
    Thanks Ashley, I will find out a way to "transition" better.

    Any other opinions from other warriors?
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  • Profile picture of the author mrdomains
    My view on this:

    Too many different types of boxes around the testimonials, etc I count 5 different types that sort of confuse the eyes away from the text

    The ebook popup is really distracting i almost left right there. Use the sight for 1 single purpose

    The video adds nothing to the site. i would take it off.

    Top heading is 4 lines - 2 lines too much

    Copy has a negative ring to it

    Dear Frustrated Marketer,
    I'm sick and tired of it!
    If you're anything like me, you're sick and tired of the same old PLR product after another. The same ones that were released in the 90s and early 2000s that you have collecting digital dust on your hard drive right now
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    • Profile picture of the author Raiel Schwartz
      Originally Posted by mrdomains View Post

      My view on this:

      Too many different types of boxes around the testimonials, etc I count 5 different types that sort of confuse the eyes away from the text
      Can you elaborate on this? Do you mean I have to many different type of boxes on my site in general and that I should just try to follow "one-style"?

      The ebook popup is really distracting i almost left right there. Use the sight for 1 single purpose
      I took off the Ultimate Footer Ad, instead now I use Exit Splash (I know some warriors will probably get mad at this... but I've been pondering and researching about it for a few days and yes even though I do hate the popups myself many people say that it just simply works... so I will be testing it)

      The video adds nothing to the site. i would take it off.
      I may take the video off (again), but I do notice a correlation between increased visitor length when I have the video on oppose to when I take it off. Does it improve conversions? That I am not sure of yet. Do you think if I changed the message of the video to make it more relevant to my site that it could be more beneficial?

      Top heading is 4 lines - 2 lines too much
      I will see if I can make a more "short-and-sweet" headline, but to me honest... Would 2 extra lines suddenly drop conversions?? Maybe.. idk, I'm not a copywriting expert which is why I am posting here so I will take your opinion into consideration, if you have any ideas I'll also apperciate it

      Copy has a negative ring to it
      Since you state this I am assuming positive copy converts better??

      Originally Posted by Rick Johansson View Post

      Agreed, the video doesn't really add to the letter.
      Since 2 warriors said no video... I will take it off now, thanks!

      Also the letter doesn't have a "sexy" angle to it that makes it stand out from other IM letters.
      I take this as a good thing then? What exactly do you mean by "sexy" angle though? Sale letters that use sex appeal/images?

      Another thing...nobody stays up at night worrying about buying crappy PLR products...they want to make money as quickly and effortlessly as possible and the offer (and headline) has to be focused on that desire.

      Rick
      True.. Thanks for that.. People "stay up at night worrying about finances and making money" however. I need to shift the attention gears.

      Originally Posted by euhlir View Post

      I for one am not a fan of seeing video with that "youtube" mark in the corner. You have a premium video so I'd host that on my own server, or one that doesn't mark videos.
      Yes, someone else told me this. I was going to host it on my own server but I knew it would eat up my bandwidth.. I may just leave the video out as suggested per other warriors.


      Thanks for all the suggestions guys, I will re-look at them today and adjust my site.
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  • Profile picture of the author Rick Johansson
    Agreed, the video doesn't really add to the letter.

    Also the letter doesn't have a "sexy" angle to it that makes it stand out from other IM letters.

    Another thing...nobody stays up at night worrying about buying crappy PLR products...they want to make money as quickly and effortlessly as possible and the offer (and headline) has to be focused on that desire.

    Rick
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  • Profile picture of the author euhlir
    I for one am not a fan of seeing video with that "youtube" mark in the corner. You have a premium video so I'd host that on my own server, or one that doesn't mark videos.
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  • Profile picture of the author Raiel Schwartz
    Changes:

    1) No more UFA at the bottom of the page, should focus more of the attention on the salesletter now (I however use exit-splash for any visitor that tries to leave just to capture their e-mails)

    2) I added a mini-paragraph after the line

    Is it worth putting your reputation on the line?

    to transition from "reputation" to "building wealth"

    3) Video removed... If anyone wants to see it to offer their own opinions it's here:


    Questions:

    1) Can someone help me come up with a "new" headline? The one I have I always thought was good, but can it be better?

    2) Should I switch up the negative "tone" in the opening sentence? Instead of "Dear Frustrated Marketer" how about "Dear Aspiring Millionaire" or "Aspiring Marketer". I am sure most people wouldn't complain about being a millionaire but I didn't want to write "Aspiring Millionaire" for the idea that perhaps some people don't want to actually aspire to be a millionaire

    Future Plans:

    1) Google Website Optimizer to test and track

    2) Add a photo of myself on my salesletter in the beginning. I heard that this only has a positive effect on conversion.
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    • Profile picture of the author Daniel Brock
      Hey Craig,

      Overall, I thought it was a pretty good sales letter.

      I do eco some of the other comments about it being distracting with all of those different images on there.

      (I understand why you did this to try and spice up your design and build some sort of creditability)

      The headline is also very hard to read.

      It took me two or three tries before I was able to focus in on your headline.

      All the surrounding text seems to distract the eyes to the point where you can't read the head line.

      Just a thought...
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      • Profile picture of the author Raiel Schwartz
        Originally Posted by Daniel Brock View Post

        The headline is also very hard to read.

        It took me two or three tries before I was able to focus in on your headline.

        All the surrounding text seems to distract the eyes to the point where you can't read the head line.

        Just a thought...
        I deleted the "Attention!" part with red text, and just left all of it at black... Does it make it easier to "read" the headline now?

        OH P.S.

        What script are you using to make the exit popup thing you got going on?

        Thank you!
        Dave Guindon's Exit splash
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Brock
    OH P.S.

    What script are you using to make the exit popup thing you got going on?

    Thank you!
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  • Profile picture of the author jasondinner
    There's a bunch of stuff I noticed, but right now isnt the best time for
    me to really dive in and give you the critique I know I can, so I'll just
    comment on your testimonial font.

    If you're using Impact, use it unbolded.

    It is bold by default and "bolding" it actually makes it difficult to read.

    If you unbold it, it will be clearer.

    - Jason
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    • Profile picture of the author jasondinner
      Oh - and your "start trial" button blends in too much with your testimonial boxes.

      Either change the color of your testimonial boxes or change the color of your "start trial"
      button.

      Maybe even scrap the "start trial" button altogether and use hyperlinked text instead.

      Or test both to see if it effects your conversion.

      Also, i noticed in your bonuses that you had values such as $197-$297 and $1497-$2497 or something close to taht.

      Pick one definite value for each bonus.

      - Jason
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      • Profile picture of the author jasondinner
        lol - i keep finding stuff.

        Lose those fake "security" images in your order box.

        They scream "I AM FAKE"

        Find real services that provide real safety seals or don't use them at all
        because they are fake which means you're full of "you know what"

        I'd rather not use any seal than use a fake seal.

        That's it for now
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      • Profile picture of the author Raiel Schwartz
        Originally Posted by jasondinner View Post

        There's a bunch of stuff I noticed, but right now isnt the best time for
        me to really dive in and give you the critique I know I can, so I'll just
        comment on your testimonial font.

        If you're using Impact, use it unbolded.

        It is bold by default and "bolding" it actually makes it difficult to read.

        If you unbold it, it will be clearer.

        - Jason
        Weird... I'm not using Impact for the testimonial font. Does the headlines for the testimonial look bad?

        Oh - and your "start trial" button blends in too much with your testimonial boxes.

        Either change the color of your testimonial boxes or change the color of your "start trial"
        button.

        Maybe even scrap the "start trial" button altogether and use hyperlinked text instead.

        Or test both to see if it effects your conversion.

        Also, i noticed in your bonuses that you had values such as $197-$297 and $1497-$2497 or something close to taht.

        Pick one definite value for each bonus.

        - Jason
        Hello Jason,

        I switched it up to a red "Join Now" button. Hopefully this makes the order button stand out now instead of the "Start Trial". What do you think?

        Also, I wish I could choose a single same value for the bonuses, but what good would that do? The value of the bonuses actually do have a difference. Why would that be a bad thing?

        lol - i keep finding stuff.

        Lose those fake "security" images in your order box.

        They scream "I AM FAKE"

        Find real services that provide real safety seals or don't use them at all
        because they are fake which means you're full of "you know what"

        I'd rather not use any seal than use a fake seal.

        That's it for now
        Hehe, it's funny you mention that. My friend suggested that I add them in because it would make my site look "more authentic". My friend isn't a "copywriter" though so I'll take your word over his..

        Removed!

        Thanks for your suggestions. I'm curious about how you feel with the bonuses.
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  • Profile picture of the author jasondinner
    Originally Posted by Craig.Michaels View Post

    Weird... I'm not using Impact for the testimonial font. Does the headlines for the testimonial look bad?

    Also, I wish I could choose a single same value for the bonuses, but what good would that do? The value of the bonuses actually do have a difference. Why would that be a bad thing?

    Thanks for your suggestions. I'm curious about how you feel with the bonuses.
    Hey Craig,

    I just realized I typed bonuses, but what I was referring to were your modules.

    Some of the values are $1497-$2497 or $47-$97

    I dont think any of this will hurt your conversions (who knows for sure though) but
    all I was saying was to be definite in your valuation of each module.

    Some of them you did, but many were like as I stated above.

    I hope that clears things up.

    Thanks,
    Jason
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    • Profile picture of the author Raiel Schwartz
      Originally Posted by jasondinner View Post

      Hey Craig,

      I just realized I typed bonuses, but what I was referring to were your modules.

      Some of the values are $1497-$2497 or $47-$97

      I dont think any of this will hurt your conversions (who knows for sure though) but
      all I was saying was to be definite in your valuation of each module.

      Some of them you did, but many were like as I stated above.

      I hope that clears things up.

      Thanks,
      Jason
      Thanks,

      I understand now.

      I set them to one definite value... Not sure if it will hurt/improve conversions either, but I think the reason why you suggested it is because it makes it look "neater"... so It's done =)
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      • Profile picture of the author jasondinner
        Originally Posted by Craig.Michaels View Post

        Thanks,

        I understand now.

        I set them to one definite value... Not sure if it will hurt/improve conversions either, but I think the reason why you suggested it is because it makes it look "neater"... so It's done =)
        Awesome
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  • Profile picture of the author TimAtkinson
    Craig the video I thought was bad ass..did you outsource the production for that or is it something so simple you should slap me for even asking. I do massive video marketing but only with my sexy self in the video

    Oh and here's a tip that raises my conversions by 30%..PUT A CALL TO ACTION -top header my friend-always! Buyers literally have 5 seconds before they decide to head over to spankwire--You need to opt them in as soon as possible..Let me know on your video bud..all in all I like
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  • Profile picture of the author Raiel Schwartz
    Tim,

    Sent you a PM about the video.

    As for putting a call to action in the top-header. I will do that (not sure where you pulled 30% increase conversions out of) but by top-header do you mean the actual header image or before the headline?
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