My Squeeze Page is a saddo!

Sarah - I'm not sure how you're driving traffic, but if your sig file is an example, you're probably gettng porn seekers.

That would be your first problem...

Additionally, you just taught yourself an invaluable sales and copywriting lesson about using humor in your copy: Don't. It can backfire on you something wicked.

I know you were trying to be funny/ironic, but your headline absolutely drives conversions away. I mean, seriously - you're offering to bore me with tedious (although good-for-me) information! Hardly "an offer I can't refuse". It's like you're offering me the medicine without the spoonful of sugar, y'know?

Eric is absolutely right. You're trying too hard. Ditch all the cutesy stuff, and just speak honestly to your visitors. Tell them what you've got to offer, why it will help them, why they should trust you, and what you want them do do. You'll be amazed at how effective simple, geniune words can be.

Excellent!

Now use something like analytics to keep track of your conversion rate. As you get more traffic and more signups (maybe about 500), you should have a solid percentage.

Then you can use something like Google Optimizer to make your changes and keep track of which one pulls more in a simple AB test.

KWEL!! Keep us posted.

You can get free analytics from Google. Highly recommended.

Sarah_Lyle --

Thanks (Oh, and, pssst...see the "Thanks" button at the bottom of the post?

...I'm sure we can work something out (*wink*).

I don't think the topic is too boring. Brian McElroy just did a 1 week series of 5 interviews on forum marketing.

Sarah,

I have to call B.S. on that statement/question.

No-one is born with a copywriting chip embedded in their brain.

...and the BEST person to write copy for your product is YOU

Now, seems to me you have a lack of confidence in your own ability -- I can spot that because...I used to as well.

Listen, Sarah, you have all the tools you need to write your own sizzling sales copy, AND you're the most qualified to do so. How come?

1. You can string a well formed sentence together.
2. You have more passion about your product than ANY copywriter could ever have on your behalf.

The rest is just formula and detail...

I realise I'm risking a 'flame' for saying that, but deep down, most copywriters will (hopefully) agree

My advice is to try to catch Judy on Skype. If you get offered an upsell, seriously consider it (until you get your sea legs)...

If not, I'll guarantee you, you'll learn more from a half-hour chat than many expensive ebooks or cookie-cutter seminars will teach you. The dudette cuts to the chase in the best possible fashion.

Sarah - I wish you the best of luck with "Inside Information", it looks great. If you need another head to bounce ideas around with, feel free to drop me a PM.

Is all.

Ta,
Steve

Oh dang -- I think I've achieved a level of expertise, then. I've made something look easy. Trust me, I spent more than a millisecond thinking about what I wrote! LOL.

One of the things about how we organize our brains --our thought processes include images, sounds, feelings. Each has their own qualities. For instance -- images tend to be "fast" and kinesthetics (feelings) are slow. The way most people make decisions (called a "decision strategy" in the nlp world) is that, somewhere along the line, there's a kinesthetic check. Most people don't decide because they see something, but rather because they see (or hear) something and then have feeling about it. So I look at a sentence, I listen to it in my head, and then I have a feeling about it. In fact, there's more than that -- once it passes the first kinesthetic check, then I ask myself various questions about it -- some conscious, some unconscious.

Do I agree with Steven about enthusiasm? Yah, enthusiasm can get you quite far down the line. I had a friend -- a good programmer -- who had difficulty getting work some years ago; he'd had some disagreements with his boss, and they followed him, both, I believe, by references as well as a weight he carried into his interviews. He then got a contract job in an obscure language named Forth, doing some factory automation. It was very rewarding emotionally for him -- and when he went to his next job interview, he was very "up" because of his recent success. He had no trouble landing the job. I lost touch with him for many years (and have again, subsequently.) Turns out he was working at Sun Microsystems (very prestigious place for engineers to work) -- and further more was on a national standards committee on boot processes. (Turns out Sun's boot process was written in this obscure programming language.)

Oh...I'm rambling a bit ... but just goes to show how a bit of enthusiam can change the course of not just sale, but of one's life.

The subsequent piece of that that Steve says you need is to know the structure, formula, detail. To me, that's like saying you can talk without grammar, without syntax. That structure, formula, detail is like the skeleton. However, if you can take a simple formula, like A-I-D-A (Attention, Interester, Desire, Action) and add in a "WIIFM" ("What's In It For Me?") focus, you can get quite a ways. But it would still leave out pieces that can be truly significant, such as storytelling and "stirring up pain.".

Now -- split-testing -- I'm afraid that split-testing suffers a lot from being used by people with statistical illiteracy. Doubling a conversion rate, as in the example Steve gave -- can have varying levels of confidence, and you have to include those levels of confidence in comparing results.

One book on landing page optimization would say that 1 std deviation (a measure of statistical confidence) is the square root of the # of conversions.
Okay ... so sq rt of two is 1.41 -- meaning the "actual" (probabalistic) result should be stated 2 +/1 1.41 -- and of test B, 4 +/- 2
Or .... for the first one: 0.59-3.41
and for the second one: 2-6
Because the ranges overlap -- we cannot say that the test with 4 conversions is better than the one with 2 conversions with much confidence. (Even if the ranges didn't overlap, confidence levels of 1 std deviation are not very high -- around 67%, I believe.)

The second part of this is that to obtain true statistical validity, the population coming to your website must be "random." IOW, the reason you got 4 conversions on the second test is because of a particular affiliate's promotions. (Which is why good split-testing is done by alternating the page shown, rather than by doing it sequential ly-- to help iron out any fluctuations that can be due to a variety of time-based factors.

Okay ... is that deep enough for you, LOL ?

Live JoyFully!

Judy

Tommy -- Thanks...!

There is a lot of the colour red on the page. Red, especially when bolded and put in large type freaks me out.
I signed up in order to see what was on the next page. Guess what! 6 more large type bolded red lines but now each line is underlined....!
Red is outdated for use on sales pages. It is an angry colour. It really "shouts" at people and can be most off-putting. Try a darkish blue. Much gentler on the eyes and more productive too. Some of the gurus think brown is pretty good for sales letters too.
It's obvious that you have really tried very hard to present a good squeeze page and also a good sales page. Overall, I reckon you have done a pretty good job for a relative newbie.
(Gosh that sounds condescending, which is certainly not my intention)
My suggestion to you is to read some of the sales pages that are currently coming in great numbers for new launches. Most, if not all, of these gurus have their sales letters written by professional copywriters at a huge cost. We can learn a lot from them and can use their ideas. Not recommending plagiarism here. Just suggesting studying the power tactics that copywriters use.
Keep hanging in there. By making a start you've done heaps more than most newbies will ever do.

cheers
balara

.......weekend came and went and not had any time to make changes to sq page got a lot on, however the minor changes i have managed to make so far thanks to the suggestions on this thread has seen my opt-ins rise considerably from like 1 a month!!!! So thank you all for that hope to do more changes some time in futue for the moment I have alot of other stuff on my plate! Best to all!!! love Sarah