Who's the Best Warrior Copywriter?

7 replies
Hi folks,

I am quite new to the Warrior forums, but I've been in IM for about a year now. After watching my new online business burn through my life savings for 9 months, I've recently started turning a profit... a rather nice profit.

But I now want to take things to the next level, and expand my business to the world. And to do that, I need a talented copywriter. I've learnt the hard way that hiring people on Elance for $5/ hour to write copy isn't gonna cut it, so I'm prepared to pay good money (though nothing too outrageous).

I'm in the Network Marketing business, and I have my own membership site that provides training to my members. I also give them free websites- but the copy on those websites is terrible.

I've done my own writing, though it's not very good- you can see it on my homepage at www.homebusinessbuilders.com.au, and also you can see my membership site at www.homebusinessbuilders.com.au/trainingcentre

An example of one of my free websites is www.roadtosuccess.com.au - fixing this page is a priority for me.

I would be very appreciative of any feedback, and also of anyone who's interested in helping me out in the long term.

thanks in advance
#copywriter #warrior
  • Profile picture of the author Paul Hooper-Kelly
    G'day, Matt!

    Congratulations! You've actually got many of the vital elements in place.

    For a start, your headline hits the nail right on the head, because it asks the question that will be right at the front of your reader's mind: "What's in it for me?"

    But you need the headline to be pro-active and actually TELL them what's in it for them - rather than simply state the question on their mind.

    And you've done it right again, because you've then moved on to identify the problem, which is exactly what you should do.

    But you need to frame it in a more EMOTIONAL and BELIEVABLE way.

    So, I'll assume, you can quote the source of your average home business owner profit - and the precise average figure.

    If you can, then use that to create a more eye-catching headline, but it will lead naturally into the body of the letter. For example:

    Thinking of starting a home business? Then this is for YOU...

    "The Home Business Bureau Says The AVERAGE Home Business Makes Just $24,478 In Year One...
    So Here's Breakthrough Specific Advice To Help YOU Make FAR MORE!"


    Read on to discover why it's not your fault and what you can do about it...

    That headline is just a quick example and not up to my usual standard, cuz I normally write up to 100 headlines on a real project (and generally pick #99).

    Then, you move into the body copy where you explain why it isn't their fault. Ideally you should incorporate your own personal experience of falling foul of the bad practices you mention. Because the closer the reader can identify with you, as someone who is just like them and has overcome the same problem they now face, the more you will build trust.

    And trust is essential if they are to buy from you.

    Then you go on to rub salt into the wound by telling them what can go wrong.

    When you've painted a really dark worse possible scenario, you introduce your solution, so it illuminates the pitch like a shaft of sunlight, piercing the dark clouds.

    Then you need to tell them all the BENEFITS of your product and provide proof, justify the price and overcome all the unspoken doubts and objections they may have.

    And all the time, you need to appeal to their emotions (because buying is an emotional act) by painting glowing pictures of how their life will be transformed by the wealth and sheer freedom their successful home business bestow on them (once they've bought your product and know how to do it properly).

    And you need to assure them (with a cast iron guarantee) that they risk nothing but have everything to gain by going ahead.

    Then, because by then, they believe and trust you and are convinced the risks are minute and the rewards mind-blowing, it will suddenly make sense to be convinced. So they just might be prepared to go ahead.

    And you'll make your first of many sales.

    I've also taken a look at Road To Success.

    As this appears to be an MLM product, there are limits to what you can say, before the reader indicates their interest by completing the web form. However, I have improved these types of MLM web pages before and if you want to PM me, I'll point you towards an example.

    Warmest regards,

    Paul
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    If you want to stack the copywriting deck in your favor with tricks and hacks producing winners like: "$20K in three days" "650 sold" "30% conversion", then you might like to know I'm retiring and will spill the beans to two people. More info here.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jack Bastide
      Hi Matt,

      Your In Luck

      I happen to know the MLM Niche very well

      In fact I even wrote a Book about it

      Amazon.com: Navigating the World of Network...Amazon.com: Navigating the World of Network...

      I have been writing copy for the Network Marketing / Work at Home Niche
      for years ( mainly for myself)

      Feel Free to PM me ... I can help you

      Jack Bastide
      Signature

      If you can drive Biz Op Phone Calls .... I'm Buying

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      • Profile picture of the author MikeHumphreys
        Matt,

        Welcome to the Warrior Forum!

        Sounds like you're looking for a copywriter who specializes in MLM. Not every copywriter writes for MLM (I don't) and not every one who is willing to has experience with the niche.

        I'd definitely suggest talking to Jack Bastide about your MLM copy needs. He's got a lot of years experience in that area and writes some solid copy too.

        Take care,

        Mike
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        • Profile picture of the author Jack Bastide
          Originally Posted by MikeHumphreys View Post

          Matt,

          Welcome to the Warrior Forum!

          Sounds like you're looking for a copywriter who specializes in MLM. Not every copywriter writes for MLM (I don't) and not every one who is willing to has experience with the niche.

          I'd definitely suggest talking to Jack Bastide about your MLM copy needs. He's got a lot of years experience in that area and writes some solid copy too.

          Take care,

          Mike
          Thanks Mike

          Appreciate the kind words


          Jack
          Signature

          If you can drive Biz Op Phone Calls .... I'm Buying

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    • Profile picture of the author mattlloyd
      thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it. I'd love to see that example you referred to
      Signature
      Start your own info-marketing business, and scale from $0 to over $81K in under 12 months. Free webinar shows you EXACTLY what I did, and all my private numbers:

      https://WebinarConferenceMeetings.com/startyourowninfomarketingbusiness
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  • Profile picture of the author Raydal
    I've written successfully for the MLM industry with clients making
    millions from my copywriting. Once you have a 5-figure budget
    then you can contact me for a quote.

    -Ray Edwards
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    The most powerful and concentrated copywriting training online today bar none! Autoresponder Writing Email SECRETS
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  • Profile picture of the author superfishall
    MLM's a narrow niche. Stick with someone who has proven success in that field. BTW, that's definitely not me.
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