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Can you think of a better headline than this?

by Ludovic
8 replies
Hi guys,

I just have a thing for asking questions all the time regarding a topic. Even, if I were a high authority in a field, I would still ask questions... With the many copywriting talents that differentiate throughout this forum, I would like to know, if anyone can suggest a better headline on my current salespage.

It would be mostly appreciated, and as thanks a random poster will receive free admission inside the PLR eBook Club premium area.

Thanks, and all the best
-Ludovic

Salespage ===> Private Label Rights
#headline
  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    Ludovic,

    It usually takes me hours to write a good headline (as I write more than 50... pick the best one... and tweak it)... but here's some food for thought.

    First of all... cut out any words you don't need. Your headline at the moment is filled with superfluous words that makes it hard to understand... which is bad.

    Also... do you have some kind of "hook" for this product? I mean, PLR memberships have been around for a long time... and the first thing I thought when I read your headline was "how is this different to all the rest of the crap I've seen?"

    IMHO for this product your hook needs to be in your headline... because at the moment it's way too "me too".

    Also be careful because you're making some extravagant income claims etc there which I don't think will jive under the new FTC guidelines... but if you're willing to roll the dice that's your call.

    -Dan
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    Always looking for badass direct-response copywriters. PM me if we don't know each other and you're looking for work.

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  • Profile picture of the author Ludovic
    Apart from reading the salespage, this membership site is basically a 3 in 1 membership.
    Members will be receiving three memberships for the price of one.
    PLReBookClub ($47/m) ===> Download Unlimited Resale Rights Products of Your Choice Every month
    PLRNicheClub ($47/m) ===> 2 High-Octane/Custom Private Label Rights eBooks Every Month
    ContentProfessor Lite ($?/m) ===> An Online Advanced Article Rewriting System

    My hook is "Instantly Profit from over 400 Niches". I basically have plr and resale rights products and more.... saturated in over 400 niches.

    Not to be too cocky, I consider it as the Ultimate Product/Content Creation Membership site. That could be another hook.

    Hmmm.... FTC comment, i will look more into it...Thanks for the heads up.
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    [50% OFF] Warriors, Sneak Peak Inside The Best Web Based Spinner - 72HRs Only (Open Now!)
    USE Promo Code: 50WSOPLRSAVINGS for 50% OFF any PLR and MRR Products in our Catalog|PLRMegaMart.com 50% Super SALE Ends(11/20) (Open Now!)
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    Some PLR sites advertise thousands of markets.

    And I don't believe them... and I don't believe you.

    I'm not saying you're a liar... I'm saying you'd need to prove that.

    But even so... I don't see that as your hook.

    And EVERYONE thinks their site is "ultimate".

    You need a real hook man... something no on else has... and no one else is saying.

    Figure that out and the headline will write itself.

    -Dan
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    Always looking for badass direct-response copywriters. PM me if we don't know each other and you're looking for work.

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  • Profile picture of the author Adam Carolla
    Actually this is most appreciated one.
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  • Profile picture of the author superaffiliate007
    WARNING! Get This Very Limited Offer That Will Skyrocket Your Income Like Clockwork - Updated Every Single Month!

    I hope this helps.
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  • Profile picture of the author wrcato2
    Ya, I can improve it by 300%
    Your headline has been used before.
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    • Profile picture of the author lenlatimer
      I've successfully used WARNING ads but they usually lead in to a "do not be fooled" or "Don't do XX until YYY. Yours made be feel that I was on an illegal site or something - that would lead to click off. Warning doesn't make sense in your context - there's nothing to avoid or stay away from.
      And if it's limited and exclusive, how did I get on the page? Where's the benefit to me? Where's the picture of how I could see myself being, doing, profiting, etc.
      I found it hard to believe a thousand products a month- and even if that was true I would be overwhelmed.
      I'd suggest starting over. Good Luck.
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      Len Latimer
      Copy-In-A-Box, an amazing Word Add-in Tool that adds Dazzle & Personality to your copy. My WSO

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