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pls critique landing page copy

by edd666666
4 replies
Hi, May I have your opinion on the effectiveness of the copy below to used in the beginning section of landing page copy. The page is aimed at selling a download of the "conduct knockout broadcast interviews system" to people interested in becoming better at conducting interviews in broadcast media such as podcasters, talk show hosts, etc. Thanks for your time.

Imagine being compared to Barbara Walters, or Larry King when you conduct interviews on your talk show.

Are you searching for the Secret that will take you to the next level in conducting interviews But:

.Material on conducting broadcast interviews is hard to find, outdated, unproven, covers only one media, such as radio or TV, and lacks a balance between skills needed for a great interview such as on- air performance, research techniques and production considerations.

.You want to break out of the pack now and avoid the on-air embarrassments that occur with trial and error learning. You want real exposure and the money you deserve for your interviews.

.You have limited time and money to spend on interviewing skills training and need a fast return on your hard-earned funds with limited risk. You would like to learn new ways to make money with your interviewing skills.





body copy of landing page would continue and address these issues.
#copy #critique #landing #page #pls
  • Profile picture of the author ghyphena
    It's a little unclear as to whether this is a sales page or a lead-capture page. "Landing page" suggests the latter, but your description suggests the former. :confused: More detail on this front will, I think, get you better answers.

    Similarly, I often find it quite useful to see the whole thing, so as to better assess the benefits, proof, curiosity, overall coherence and flow, etc... rather than just the beginning, for example. Just saying.

    Having said that...

    1. The copy itself is a little unclear. Try reading it aloud to get a sense for the overall coherence - or lack thereof. Simpler is better. One thought at a time.

    2. A promise like the one you're making - comparison to Larry King etc - right at the start... with no foundation, no rapport and no proof = suicide, in my very humble opinion. I don't believe it. It smells of hype to me.

    If you were to use it as a headline, my suggestion would be to then lead with the knee-jerk "how can this be possible" thought - address it and counter it... and quickly.

    3. The bullets are weak, in my opinion, because they lack specificity and punch. Again, shorter sentences are better. If you were to take these bullets and break them down into more bullets you might get a better result.

    Maybe sections would be good:

    Here's why good interviewing information is almost impossible to find:
    - Out of date... little anecdote
    - Not comprehensive... little anecdote
    - etc.

    4. I'm not sure if leading with this list of problems is even the right thing to do. It's probably not the path I would have chosen were I writing this copy.

    I would suggest you try to go with the big-promise headline (assuming you can prove it)... then prove it... then launch right into a little "here's how you can get the same result".... coupled with "who am I and why you should listen to me"... then lots of punchy bullets about specific benefits of your program... then a call to action.

    Hope this helps. Good luck.

    Gil-Ad
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    Gil-Ad Schwartz

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    • Profile picture of the author edd666666
      Wow, great feedback, I will PM you and ask very, very nicely, thanks, Ed.
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      “Over 1,000 People Have Used My Unique Pitch System To Achieve Their Publicity Goals... And I’ll Work Personally With You Too, One-On-One To Help You Get On TV!” CLICK HERE
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  • Profile picture of the author wrcato2
    It doesn't work for me. Why not start off like:

    Imagine seeing hundreds of these in your inbox right after that webinare interview you just finished conducting...

    -You nailed him to the wall and kept hammering... Larry King Couldn't K.O. any faster than that.

    -WOW! You pulled so much info from that dude... It's a wonder he still has a product left. Your the O'Riely of the internet.

    Something to that effect. Come on spice it up a bit...
    Imagine... you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

    Great idea for a product.
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    • Profile picture of the author edd666666
      Thanks Wcato2, that was good feedback. I gave you your first thanks on the forum and I am sure you will be getting many more as you make more posts. Ed
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