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by LondonPaladin

Posted: 14 years ago 7 replies

COPY WRITING

I'm working on crafting the headline for my first product. A dating ebook that teaches everything you need to know in just 7 days. Any input is really appreciated.

-----------------these are my top 3 ideas-------------------------------------

Single men, No more sleeping alone in an ice-cold bed.....Learn to Seduce and Date Beautiful Women in Only a Week.

International seduction artist reveals the secrets to sleeping with the most beautiful women in the world, in just 7 day - Guaranteed 100%

How to date beautiful women with ease in just 7 days - Guaranteed.

------- Below are some of the other ideas I'm tossing around---

Tired of sleeping alone?
Afraid of spending your life in a house of cats?
Sleeping alone is so cold.
Escape the prison of loneliness, in just 7 days.
Break the bonds of solitude
Are you tired of standing alone in the club wondering why no women will talk to you?
Learn to find the companion you've always dreamed of
Ready to stop being alone?
Poor, chubby and lonely?

#compare #headlines

Kevin-VirtualProfitCenter 14 years ago

How I would refine your headline/concept:

The prospect is likely a single guy, but he may not be. I would lose the "single guy" unless you are sure that's true of your target market AND it gets you something from them--more empathy, etc.

What does he want? Mind blowing sex with a woman who is out of his league.

He doesn't want to sleep with her, he wants to make the beast with two backs.

Who does your prospect envy? Who is his ideal self?

In his fantasies he is in control, respected and in command of the ladies. Women can't wait to sleep with him--hot women. It's effortless for him. They beg to be his for the night, or even a few hours. Other men envy him. He's the alpha dog.

When you get into his head then you can create a headline that gives him that fantasy life--in 7 days. It moves him toward his ideal self.

Using that idea, here is a headline I would write (in fact, I just did...):

Self-proclaimed ugly guy reveals his amazing hypnotic technique (revealed below)

"Seduce the Hottest Woman You Will Meet this Week,
Have a Night of Mind-Blowing Sex and
Have Her Begging You for More"

This works for anyone--even if you are ugly, balding, chubby and have never succeeded at picking up women before
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RickDuris 14 years ago

Kevin, I like your headline.

But as a single guy, I would also advocate let's make it believable.

- Rick Duris
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Pipinscott 14 years ago

Heheheh Kevin always seems to come up with the good catchy LONG headlines.
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- Kevin-VirtualProfitCenter 14 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by RickDuris
  
  Kevin, I like your headline.
  
  But as a single guy, I would also advocate let's make it believable.
  
  - Rick Duris
  
  Sounds like you need to read the book...
  
  Originally Posted by Pipinscott
  
  Heheheh Kevin always seems to come up with the good catchy LONG headlines.
  
  Well, I thought about using "FREE ENDLESS SEX" as the headline, but I thought I needed to be more specific (though I'll bet "FREE ENDLESS SEX" would get almost everyone to read the first paragraph of the sales letter.)
  
  My favorite headline (one which I have yet to use as I have not found/created a product on charisma yet) is:
  
  "How to Have Irresistible Charisma -
  Even If You Are Short, Fat and Bald
  (and so is your husband)"
  
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  The Miracle Squeeze Page: Scientifically Proven to Convert 84.1% of Visitors into Subscribers
  
  Works for Anybody, Any niche - It's so simple you'll wonder why everyone isn't using it
  Click Here Now to Download It!
  
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LondonPaladin 14 years ago

Wow man. That is really amazing. I can see the difference. Thanks for the help.
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Steve Faber 14 years ago

Have You Had Dynamite Sex With the Most Beautiful Women Around, and Had Them Beg You to Stay?..............Would You Like To???
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The Copy Nazi Banned 14 years ago

This may help. Here's the classic Gary Halbert personals ad with the headline -

Are you more than just another pretty face?

Generous, Creative Businessman Wants To Find A Hot, Sexy Woman With A Good Sense Of Humor

www.thegaryhalbertletter.com/13ad%20pdf.pdf -
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