Help!! Need a sales page critique please!

First, I really like the design. Next, there's a fairly serious grammar flaw in your headline. You have: "Learn How To Get 1,000 Of Visitors"

You either need to say, thousands of visitors or 1000s of visitors... I think you'd be better off writing it out as in the first example. Finally, I'd get rid of the centered text and go with left justified. I'll leave you with that and let someone else comment on the actual copy. Good Luck!

Hi Avis,

I've just read through your site and I think there's two main problems:

1. Not enough detail. Everything about it feels generic, like it could be for any traffic product. You really need to explain why yours is the guide to buy and not one of the dozens of others on offer. To do this you could inject some personality by making more of your no-traffic to traffic story (e.g. any interesting personal details or how you discovered your new methods). Make it more emotional, what does it feel like to blog every single day and only have a couple of people reading your genius? Also, you could use more bullets and put the page number of the book it appears on. Basically, make it stand out from the crowd. And remember, if you're targeting beginners they might not know some of the jargon so make sure you define it, it's better to over-explain than under-explain.

2. The quality of writing isn't great. There's a lot of little errors that you need to eliminate. There's nothing wrong with it not being perfect but too many errors are going to put people off.

On the plus side though, the design looks great.

This should get you started and if you need any more help just ask.

I'm not a copywriter...but, I can tell you the headline doesn't work for me.

"Would You Like To Learn How To Get
1,000 Of Visitors To Your Blog
Using Totally Free Traffic..."

Problems I see:

Change "1000" to "thousands"

"thousands of visitors" and "free traffic" are basically the same thing.

add "methods" or something after "free traffic"

...go from there...rewrite it a hundred times if you have too.

Thank you all, for your comments :-) I will take them onboard. Writing sales copy is not my thing, I will give it a good try. But I am glad most of you like my sales page design, I did it myself :-)

"Would You Like To Learn How To Get
Thousands Of Visitors To Your Blog
Using Free Traffic Methods..."

That headline is a dead dog. Take it outside and shoot it. You're setting yourself up for a "No" answer. You'd be better off cutting to the chase with -

You're on the right track, but it's obvious you are starting out.

One great suggestion I got from someone in the past, is to practice by retyping a good letter, so you can get the feel for writing the letters.

I'm not saying to actually publish someone elses work, but to write it in your own private space, so you can get a good instinctive feel for writing the letters.

Keep on trying.

Now you can see why top copywriters get paid so much money for what appears to be just a simple letter.

Best of luck.

I was surprised your product was so cheap $7 and that you didn't have any testimonials. You could address both of these by saying that you know these techniques have worked for you, but since the product is brand new you don't have customer feedback yet and so you are offering the product for $7 for some introductory period.

Or.. you can offer the product on a trial basis to a few people and get their feedback.

I think you have a good start. I know sales letters aren't my thing either. I would consider adding a question/answer section like:

Question: Do I need technical skills to use your product?
Answer: No, screen shots and videos make this product something your Grandma could use

Question: Is it time-consuming to use these methods?
Answer: no, 30 seconds a day is all it takes (okay, not the real answer)

Good luck!

Question: How long does it take after I start using these methods before my website is on page 1 of Google?

Include testimonials

Avis,
Actually, This is a great first effort.

As usual the critique comments are great. Implement them and you will add polish to this letter.

One thing I noticed: I am missing the part where you sell me on what a high-traffic blog will do for my life. I'm very close to writing off the letter as an "Avis Autobiography" rather than seeing it as something that will personally benefit me.

Get into the reader's imagination - future pace them a bit so they can see themselves enjoying the benefits of your product.

Stan

I am unable to realize what is your USP (unique selling proposition)?

What is so different & unique about your offer that no other marketer/blogger within your marketplace offers?

I think you've done a great job though you certainly require to improvise on the letter.

I think I can help you further with a great critique. I'll post a copy of the critique here as well.

I'll send you a PM shortly with the complete critique. It'll be better if you PM/email me your email address.

Within just 5 minutes, I'll show you how YOU can make your blog "a powerful traffic magnet" instantly using my SECRET traffic system... Guaranteed!

Dear Blogger,

I am about to reveal what has never ever been shared by anyone in my Blog Traffic Blueprint...

This creates a lot of curiosity within the buyer. It makes the customer hold on to the page much better than what he'd written earlier. I find the statement quite powerful as well. I find it hits the nail.

Problem with his copy is.. he has not identified what separates him from the rest. I could improve the headline much better if I had known his USP.

The OP will have to wait. As soon as I get some time, I'll give him a critique.

If the OP does not use this headline and sub-headline, I'll definitely use it. I find it interesting.