Your workouts suck

by Karomesis

Posted: 14 years ago 19 replies

COPY WRITING

mine don't

Just thinking of a confrontational headline to use for my product when marketing to the gen Yers who go to the gym, work out but aren't getting the results they need.

I will be showing them a video of an exercise that I do that I've never seen anyone else do, to get them to begin the trust process before I sell them the product itself.

forgive my simplicity, I'm not saying that's all that's needed to sell them, but you guys get the idea. I realize the fitness/weight loss niche is highly competitive (so am I

) so I'd like to try confrontational AKA Richjerk style marketing and see where it gets me.

What say you my fellow Warriors?

#workouts

Ken Strong

14 years ago

It's hard to judge a headline or suggest alternatives out of context. It'd be lot easier if you provided a link to the entire sales page so we can see it as a whole.

Re the Rich Jerk approach -- it's worked really well for him, but I think it's very difficult to pull off. If you don't do it right, then you come off as a garden-variety jerk, which won't be good for sales.

Thanks
1 reply

Signature

The RETURN of OBI:
Learn IM From the Experts Who Are Already Doing It!

"Sammy-approved, baby!" -- Offline Brat Pack

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1563891].message }}

Karomesis

14 years ago

I'll post it as soon as it's up.

Do you think CM either works or doesn't? it seems like one of those methods where there isn't alot of grey area where it kinda works, or kinda doesn't.

it seems pretty cut and dry

Thanks
1 reply

Signature

Coming soon....FULL SCALE AUTOMATION.
"Set it...Forget it" site building and SEO software.

any ? please hit me up anytime karomesis12@gmail.com

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1563981].message }}

Collette

14 years ago

Originally Posted by Karomesis

...Do you think CM either works or doesn't? it seems like one of those methods where there isn't alot of grey area where it kinda works, or kinda doesn't.

it seems pretty cut and dry

Actually, no. Rich Jerk uses humor in his approach. It's CM, yeah, but it's done with a fair amount of tongue-in-cheek and self-mockery.

It's a balancing act, and he (or his copywriter) pulled it off well. One word to the right or the left, and the whole approach could have been Epic. Fail.

So, CM can work, if used skilfully. However, you really have to know your prospect psycho-demographics to use either humor or CM effectively. Cross the line, and *click* - you're gone.

Thanks

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1566365].message }}

Daniel Scott 14 years ago

What is CM?

Regarding your approach... what works in the IM niche may not work in the weight loss niche.

How many killer letters have you seen that call you a fat idiot?

-Dan
- Thanks
Signature

Always looking for badass direct-response copywriters. PM me if we don't know each other and you're looking for work.
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1567377].message }}

RickDuris

14 years ago

Hi Karomesis and all,

Here's one possible way to approach an (indirect) insult--and it's one of the most successful fitness ads of all time:

- Rick Duris

PS: Obviously this ad was written for a different period in time. But the basic delivery strategy is there. Just Google "Charles Atlas" and you'll find other successful (yet equally insulting) ads.

PPS: True story: When I was a kid, I saved up like 500 Bazooka bubble gum wrappers to get this product. But to this day, I am unfortunately, still a "97-pound weakling."

[ 3 ] Thanks
1 reply

Signature

CopyRanger.com

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1567760].message }}

Karomesis

14 years ago

Originally Posted by RickDuris

PPS: True story: When I was a kid, I saved up like 500 Bazooka bubble gum wrappers to get this product. But to this day, I am unfortunately, still a "97-pound weakling."

Rick if you need some help with that I'd be happy to work with you on it.

Thanks

Signature

Coming soon....FULL SCALE AUTOMATION.
"Set it...Forget it" site building and SEO software.

any ? please hit me up anytime karomesis12@gmail.com

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1576085].message }}

The Copy Nazi Banned 14 years ago

Turn it around. Start with -

"My Workouts Weren't Working Out Until..."

And then describe how you were the chump who was doing everything wrong. You can still write it Rich Jerk style - just direct the scorn and sarcasm towards yourself rather than your reader. That way you might get people to relate to your experience without pissing them off.
- Thanks
- 1 reply
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1569084].message }}
- Chris Worner 14 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Metronicity
  
  "My Workouts Weren't Working Out Until..."
  
  Until what?
  
  Thanks
  
  1 reply
  
  Signature
  
  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1576418].message }}
  
  DaveHughes 14 years ago
  
  Combine the two:
  
  "My Workout Results Used To Suck, Too..."
  
  Thanks
  
  Signature
  
  Dave Hughes Voice Over - 34 years professional experience and 30 awards won...now available for hire!
  
  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1576477].message }}
Karomesis 14 years ago

some great replies guys, thanks. And to Daniel Scott, CM is confrontational marketing.
- Thanks
Signature

Coming soon....FULL SCALE AUTOMATION.
"Set it...Forget it" site building and SEO software.

any ? please hit me up anytime karomesis12@gmail.com
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1576089].message }}
Infinite Shades of Grey 14 years ago

Without an attention-grabbing headline, you've got nothing.

I clicked on this post. Like a lot of other people. I think it has great potential- especially with the fitness crowd, who would be ego driven enough to be pulled in.

Try it. I think its a winner.
- Thanks
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1576246].message }}
Karomesis 14 years ago

Thank you for all your replies guys. I think I might go with this for the gen Yers in my market.
- Thanks
- 1 reply
Signature

Coming soon....FULL SCALE AUTOMATION.
"Set it...Forget it" site building and SEO software.

any ? please hit me up anytime karomesis12@gmail.com
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1599722].message }}
- Lucius 14 years ago
  
  Since you say GenY, What about:
  
  For Months My Workout Program= EPIC FAIL ,Then
  
  Thanks
  
  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1600564].message }}
Mr. Enthusiastic 14 years ago

It could work to get attention, but pretty soon you need to turn it from in-your-face attention getting into something worth reading.

Just some ideas:

Your workouts suck... but that's about to change.
Don't worry, my workouts used to suck too.
I followed the latest fads, I did what everyone else in the gym did, I tried to do what the juiced-up stars said they did in the magazines... and I got nothing to show for it. Just like all the other hard-working losers in the gym.
Then I found out how to build workouts that work. And in one year of effective workouts, I cut my body fat percentage by 4% and gained 13 pounds of muscle.
And I did all of this with less time in the gym than every before!
Let's face it, bad workouts waste your time. They don't give you all the health benefits you should get from your effort. And they sure as hell don't give you the results you deserve with the opposite sex. I learned how to stop wasting my time.
Now it's your turn...
etc.

Does this help?

Chris
- Thanks
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1600983].message }}
Moolah_Copywriting 14 years ago

Ok, I will jump in on the other side of the "CM Camp" here and push for a positive spin. Most people avoid confrontation at any cost. Not making any waves is a sacred civil tradition in the US! I would work harder to find a positive angle that gets the reader dreaming about the awesome results they will get with your program.

I'm putting together a swipe file of fitness headlines and I rarely come across a CM one...

Proceed carefully.

Stan
- Thanks
Signature

What's On Your Mind? Ask me your copywriting question or just drop me a "hello"
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1603064].message }}
samlb 14 years ago

Would a sales letter with cartoons work better than a long letter that takes forever to read?

What do you guys think?
- Thanks
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1605195].message }}
mbrig 14 years ago

Hi Karemosis, I'm a bit worried, you've had a good response to your post and got some great suggestions. What's worrying me is the exercise itself, I'm not sure why it's worrying me but it is.

Have you established that the exercise is beneficial to people and that it's not so specialised as to rule out the vast majority of gym goer's?

Sorry I don't know why I am so twitchy about this!

Good luck

mbrig
- Thanks
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1607575].message }}
karlhadwen 14 years ago

I'd love to do a video blog for fitness training as I love it but the GYM I go to is fairly weird. If I pulled out a video camera I'd get stared at
- Thanks
- 1 reply
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1607787].message }}
- octobergal 14 years ago
  
  May work really well. I like to see humor being used. Good luck!
  
  Thanks
  
  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1633402].message }}

Your workouts suck

Trending Topics

Any thoughts on golf's latest phenom...Scottie Scheffler??

best high quality crypto traffic.

Some interesting stats about brand comms

What's the Best IM-Related Skill to Learn Today That Can Help in the Future?

Should i Index Author pages?