5 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}
5 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}

Cpywriting Review - Front Page for Membership Site

by pjgodines
4 replies
Hey Guys,

I'm starting a Membership Site and I'm Article Marketing, thats going well however I'm concerned about the copywriting on the Front Page.

I dont know if I just need help or should hire a Pro. Thoughts.

Please visit...www.adaptonadime.com
#cpywriting #front #membership #page #review #site
  • Profile picture of the author Loren Woirhaye
    Your salesletter does not make sense.

    You begin by asking me:

    "Are You Making These Mistakes When Looking For A New Job?"

    And then you change the subject rather than telling me what
    the mistakes are.
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[141006].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Eric Engel
    Hi -

    You have to work on consistency and making one idea lead to the next, without breaking the thought process.

    For example:

    "Let me share a story with you about the mistakes I have made in the past when looking for a job;"

    Then you proceed to tell them about something that was the exact opposite of a mistake.

    Also, I don't think you should put the copy on the home page. I would work more into a funnel. You home page should look like the normal login that members would see...with 'teaser' conversations in the forums or something that would grab a person's curiosity.

    When they try to see it, they get a 'need to register' page...which redirects to a nice sales letter.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[141020].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author AnarchyAds
      Banned
      [DELETED]
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[141415].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author pjgodines
        Thanks Guys,

        I felt it was too much, but I'm new at this copywriting stuff. I write articles and have found my voice there but I haven't found it in my copywriting..... yet!

        I will totally redesign my Front Page, to simplfy it and send a clearer picture, however it seems difficult to explain just how much you can do and have access to in just a few lines, but I'll try.
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[141446].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author pjgodines
          Hey Guys,

          I gave it another shot, I hope this works, I appreciate what your doing and dont mean to take up your valuyable time.

          I did a lot of work on the site, I believe this is closer to what you outlined.

          Thanks

          Paul Godines - Coach
          Adapt on a Dime Coaching
          Career/Business Goals - Got Some?
          Web: adaptonadime.com
          Phone: 1.219.363.1449
          Email: adaptonadime@igroops.com
          7875 e 50 s Knox, IN. 46534

          © 2008 Paul J. Godines All Rights Reserved.
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[141727].message }}

Trending Topics