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Please Review My New Clickbank Product Sales Letter

by Marcelo Lopes
10 replies
Hey everyone,

My partner and I have just finished our sales letter and got it submitted to clickbank. I would love to have someone give us an honest review of the sales letter copy.

The product is in the Law Of Attraction / Meditation niche.

20Minute MindSpa

Thank you, any help would be appreciated
Marcelo
#clickbank #letter #product #review #sales
  • Profile picture of the author Ross Bowring
    Off the bat, very nice video. But just in look, the sales copy, how it's formatted, the different sized fonts, doesn't live up to the same level of presentation as your video.

    I'd also not have your graphic take up so much room above the fold. She's got a lot of sky above her head you could get rid of.

    I'd also use a short positive quote from each testimonial as the "headline" for each testi, rather than "Testimonial".

    A few things I hope are helpful.

    -- Ross
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    • Profile picture of the author Marcelo Lopes
      Thanks Ross,

      Ya I need to work on the formatting. Just hard to find someone who can do a good job with it. Great advice about the testimonials and header image.

      Thanks again
      Marcelo
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      • Profile picture of the author jukeboxhero
        I'll get straight to the point.

        1. Header takes up WAAAAY too much space. Yes it's pretty, but who cares.

        2. Your sub heads under the video aren't even english..Read it out loud and you'll here.

        3. Your testimonials lack credibility and wreak of hack....Ask yourself which is more believable "Dave TV producer" or Mark Grandville, MI

        4.Your entire opening set is junk....To be more blunt it's way off...LOL...For real though, there's no connection between your product and something tangible that anyone want in there lives... Take a few minutes and read through it like a prospect would...What's the TANGIBLE reward for buying your product....

        You've got a ton of fluffy words like. "Deep relaxation and an improved sense of well being" who cares about those things.

        Who is your market?
        What do they want?
        What makes you different?
        What problems and pains do they have?
        In what ways are those pains and problems effecting there lives.

        Hope this doesn't offend you. I'd rather make you money and have you hate me, than blow smoke and watch you go broke...if you follow.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mr.Cash
    I only had a very quick scan through it. On top of what everyone else suggested I think you should try and get pictures for those testamonials. Real faces for real testamonials. Use your target market research and have great testamonials by people that meet your ideal customer characteristics.

    Weather thats a middle aged mother of three or a mid 20's stressed out banker, its up to you.

    Good luck with it!
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  • Profile picture of the author cgallagher93
    Hi Marcelo,

    I have to say that although I agree in
    part with some of the points made above,
    the best thing you can do here is hire
    a professional to critique your sales
    letter properly...

    Most people on here are only flying by
    and probably don't have the time to
    devote to fully analysing your copy &
    suggesting important changes.

    A copywriter with proven results could
    easily double if not triple your sales, and
    would have the time to devote to your
    project...

    That's what I highly recommend you do
    to be honest. Either way, best of luck
    with your project and feel free to get in
    touch if you'd like me to help you.

    Regards,

    Connor Gallagher
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  • Profile picture of the author Moolah_Copywriting
    Marcelo,

    It looks like you need to organize your thoughts a bit here. Here's some tips -
    1. Brainstorm a list of benefits that your customer would find irresistable. Don't stop until you have 12
    2. Now write an outline with 4 sections - Promise, Picture, Proof, Push (Or Offer). This is a system popularized by AWAI that seems to work with beginning copywriters.
    3. Under the Promise section - Make a straight-forward promise (based on your benefits) of what your product offers.
    4. Under the Picture section - get your reader emotionally involved in experiencing your benefits
    5. Proof - Testimonials and any other elements that you have that proves that you are the real deal
    6. Push - Organize your price, bonuses, and guarantee into one concise section.
    7. Go back and find the benefit that seems to hold the most power and turn that into your headline.

    Quick and dirty.

    Stan
    Signature
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    • Profile picture of the author Marcelo Lopes
      Thanks everyone for all you wonderful advice.

      As you can tell I am no copywriter and do not have the major cash it would take to really have it done professionally so I will take all your advice and spend the weekend re-working my sales page.

      Thank you once again for all your help.

      I wish you all much success.
      Marcelo
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      • Profile picture of the author cgallagher93
        There's certainly some decent advice
        been provided in here and hopefully
        with a bit of studying, tweaking and
        testing you'll get there in the end.

        Just be warned that the art of copy-
        writing is not generated overnight. I
        recommend you get your hands on
        some books by John Carlton, Dan
        Kennedy etc if you don't have the
        funds to hire a pro...

        Good luck mate

        Originally Posted by Marcelo Lopes View Post

        Thanks everyone for all you wonderful advice.

        As you can tell I am no copywriter and do not have the major cash it would take to really have it done professionally so I will take all your advice and spend the weekend re-working my sales page.

        Thank you once again for all your help.

        I wish you all much success.
        Marcelo
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  • Profile picture of the author mghowell
    Looks good overall. I guess its not supposed to be as hyped up as the IM sales process. Even though, I am still not feeling like I am pulled into the product. The testimonials are good, but I suggest pictures to add more social proof to them. Bonuses are good, but value each one and total them so the customer sees what they are getting in bonuses.
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