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Considering Hiring Copywriter

by Western Grizzlin'
13 replies
I wrote my own sales letter [americaowns(dot)com] for my product. It hasn't converted. Feel free to critique (tear apart) if you like.

So I'm considering hiring a copywriter to do some or all of the following: Squeeze page copy, one time offer copy, regular sales page copy (variation on OTO copy), first 7 autoresponses, and rescripting/editing my video scripts.

The niche is real estate direct to consumers. Think of folks who are looking for rentals, rent-to-own houses, etc.

My budget is flexible. My timeframe is two weeks.

Special consideration given to writers who have successfully sold related products or sold to related demographics. I'm going to look hard at references, very hard. I may even want to speak to some.

Believing that you can actually sell my product is a prerequisite. Not sure if that goes without saying.

I'm leaning towards switching to a squeeze page / OTO. I'm also open to ideas.

EDIT: The traffic for this product is not very targeted. We have to convert folks who are looking for something else -- to rent, rent-to-own, etc.
#copywriter #hiring
  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
    Originally Posted by Western Grizzlin' View Post

    EDIT: The traffic for this product is not very targeted. We have to convert folks who are looking for something else -- to rent, rent-to-own, etc.
    I'm sure you've received plenty of PMs regarding the job but this, the lack of targeted traffic, is just as big a problem.

    Write a quality report on some aspect of the house buying market and offer it in exchange for an email address. Then send a series of 7-10 emails filled with more content and letting them know what they need to do to get all of your information.
    Signature

    Andrew Gould

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    • Profile picture of the author Western Grizzlin'
      Originally Posted by Andrew Gould View Post

      I'm sure you've received plenty of PMs regarding the job but this, the lack of targeted traffic, is just as big a problem.

      Write a quality report on some aspect of the house buying market and offer it in exchange for an email address. Then send a series of 7-10 emails filled with more content and letting them know what they need to do to get all of your information.
      I agree that lack of targeted traffic is a big issue.

      My traffic is unqualified in the sense that nobody actively looks for what I'm offering. But I guess the traffic isn't completely unqualified. I can get visitors who all could use my product, I just have yet to convince them that they NEED it.

      I'm having a hard time figuring out if my sales copy is just really really poor or my product is just not viable.
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      • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
        Originally Posted by Western Grizzlin' View Post

        nobody actively looks for what I'm offering.
        This is probably the real issue.

        If nobody's looking for what you're selling then you're not going to sell much at all. Regardless of the marketing.

        Do you have any competitors? Are they successful? How do they do it?

        If there's no competitors and no-one's looking for what you're selling then you're, more than likely, offering a solution to a non-existent problem.
        Signature

        Andrew Gould

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        • Profile picture of the author Western Grizzlin'
          Originally Posted by Andrew Gould View Post

          This is probably the real issue.

          If nobody's looking for what you're selling then you're not going to sell much at all. Regardless of the marketing.

          Do you have any competitors? Are they successful? How do they do it?

          If there's no competitors and no-one's looking for what you're selling then you're, more than likely, offering a solution to a non-existent problem.
          That makes sense.

          But we have sold a similar product successfully over the phone with pretty high conversion rates. But its a long, complicated conversation that we've had a hard time translating to the sales page.

          I know that not being able to buy a house due to credit issues is a problem. I just can't convince anyone that I have the best solution.
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          • Profile picture of the author Ross Bowring
            Maybe you just need the right person to take some transcripts of those successful phone calls and boil them down into a sales page.

            Speaking from my own POV, if a client gives me transcripts of successful sales calls, there's some serious insight there into how to sell the thing.

            --- Ross
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  • Profile picture of the author zapseo
    Yeah, sounds to me like you need to have a consultation with a marketing person.
    You're getting SOME of that in this thread. But this really isn't the place to carry on that conversation -- to nail it down, things need to be discussed that shouldn't be discussed in public -- for your protection.

    I'd be glad to talk to you.

    As a copy project, as you've gotten the feedback, it wouldn't be very satisfying. And the results are not likely to be very impressive until you solve the marketing parts of the equation.

    Live JoyFully!

    Judy Kettenhofen
    NextDay-Copy
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    Speed Read Copy -- 97% Off Value -- RAVE Reviews!
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    • Profile picture of the author Western Grizzlin'
      Thanks everyone for the feedback. Recording and analyzing the sales calls was a great suggestion.

      I thought I was a marketing guy after 7 successful years of affiliate direct linking. But I'm coming to realize that I'm not that good at writing copy that is over 25, 35, and 35 characters.
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  • Profile picture of the author Scott Murdaugh
    My traffic is unqualified in the sense that nobody actively looks for what I'm offering.
    I don't agree with you here. Maybe no one is looking for your specific solution, but there are millions of Americans searching for "rent to own" or other ways to own a home with bad credit.

    The thing is, they don't necessarily want to "rent to own", they just want a way to own a house.

    So, my question would be, why is your approach superior to "rent to own" or high risk mortgages or other bad credit options?

    The basic desire here is home ownership, so if you have a viable solution, you have a market.

    -Scott
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    Over $30 Million In Marketing Data And A Decade Of Consistently Generating Breakthrough Results - Ask How My Unique Approach To Copy Typically Outsells Traditional Ads By Up To 29x Or More...

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    • Profile picture of the author ryanmberg
      Not sure if closing leads over the phone would be profitable with what you're selling here ($100 product). I'm assuming you sold a higher ticket service like consulting when you were doing phone sales? In any case, transcribing those would definitely help out whatever copywriter you decide to work with.

      I agree with Scott. If you're not bringing in targeted traffic now, I'm sure there's some way you can. There's a HUGE market for what you're offering in my opinion. I get direct mail all the time for rent-to-own stuff... I even had some door to door salesmen (a pair of realtors) come to my door once with a similar offer.

      Direct mail could be a viable option (most of the stuff I see sucks but they keep sending it so they must be doing OK). It looks like you're already setting up local JV's based on your video. What web sites serve your market that you could JV with or even do paid advertising on? I think the rent-to-own market could do great for you if you positioned yourself right... "3 reasons why rent-to-own programs are a SCAM, and how you can own a home outright even with bad credit using these Billion dollar government programs"

      That $8,000 home buying credit has gotten wide spread publicity, so there's definitely awareness that the government is really helping people do this... and that's a wave of credibility you can ride.

      Overall I do think your copy is weak. I really liked the first video, but there's no strong hook to pull you in to actually watch it. Why should people trust you? What's so unique about what you have to offer? Unless you watch the video there's nothing on that page that really pulls you into what this thing is all about. Just some vague statements about why rent to own isn't good. So I think you're thinking is correct in wanting to revamp it... I don't think it would sell that well even with a fantastic traffic source.

      However, I do think you need to get your traffic strategy dialed in first. And then find a good copywriter that can help you position yourself to really grab that groups attention.

      Hope that is of some help.

      Ryan
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  • Profile picture of the author gjabiz
    Before you hire anyone, put on the Ol THINKING cap, OK?

    It is NOT for people looking for rentals, or even rent-to-own...but it is still, despite recent real estate crash...the DREAM for millions of Americans.

    To OWN their own home.

    My OPINION is that your strongest selling point (oh, and delay that annoying pop up for 10 or 15 seconds, give the prospect a chance to SEE something first)...

    is buried WAY down, too far down in your letter. MOVE those four beautiful pics of HOMES that other people have acquired through your "technique" up to the top.

    Headline with these homes would go something like,

    You can own a beautiful home, just like these people have done. See for yourself.

    In your biz, a pic is worth a thousand words. So your site reads much better from the pictures down, but, the traffic you are getting, probably isn't staying around long enough to "figure" out what you are offering.

    Make it simple.

    YOU can own a home. (Like these)

    You can own a home for only 2,000 bux. AND, you'll be prepared to "buy" it in the next 90 days. (Length of training)

    We'll show you how to do it. (For a small fee.)

    And all and any copy you write or have written should keep your customer's RESULT in mind.

    Good LUCK.

    gjabixz




    Originally Posted by Western Grizzlin' View Post

    I wrote my own sales letter [americaowns(dot)com] for my product. It hasn't converted. Feel free to critique (tear apart) if you like.

    So I'm considering hiring a copywriter to do some or all of the following: Squeeze page copy, one time offer copy, regular sales page copy (variation on OTO copy), first 7 autoresponses, and rescripting/editing my video scripts.

    The niche is real estate direct to consumers. Think of folks who are looking for rentals, rent-to-own houses, etc.

    My budget is flexible. My timeframe is two weeks.

    Special consideration given to writers who have successfully sold related products or sold to related demographics. I'm going to look hard at references, very hard. I may even want to speak to some.

    Believing that you can actually sell my product is a prerequisite. Not sure if that goes without saying.

    I'm leaning towards switching to a squeeze page / OTO. I'm also open to ideas.

    EDIT: The traffic for this product is not very targeted. We have to convert folks who are looking for something else -- to rent, rent-to-own, etc.
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    • Profile picture of the author Western Grizzlin'
      Thanks everyone for great feedback. I have a lot of things to think about.

      Originally Posted by gjabiz View Post

      Before you hire anyone, put on the Ol THINKING cap, OK?
      Gjabiz, your post was insightful, but what is an "OI thinking cap"?
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    Without knowing what kind of traffic you have, it's hard to say for sure...

    ...but that sales page is pretty bad and a do-over would probably help immensely.

    With a quick glance I can see that you know your stuff... but the heavy amount of confusing jargon doesn't help.

    And that's coming from a guy who owns a house and has been through some of this stuff.

    There are a lot of other issues, too... but that's the one that stands out in my mind.

    -Dan
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    Always looking for badass direct-response copywriters. PM me if we don't know each other and you're looking for work.

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