>> Free Lifetime Membership for Best Headline

by ocmnet
25 replies
I am getting ready to release a new Clickbank product and need a great headline for CB Tag Clouds

Submit your headline here and I will give the winner a lifetime membership (Worth $47/yr).

I know... who cares about the 40 bucks But just think about how it helps your ego!

Will also give everyone whose copy ideas I use a Lifetime membership, too.

Bring it on...

P.S. I have a graphics person working on the Header now, so ignore it.
#>> #free #headline #lifetime #membership
  • Profile picture of the author ocmnet
    Hey guys, I know the membership offer is lame, but I want to give back something for your help.

    Will also throw in a solo spot for one of your products to the list I create from the cbTagClouds sales after it runs a couple months to build it up.
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    • Profile picture of the author malarky
      passive is a very weak word to use in a headline. what about something like


      Profit From a Blog More Than Ever, and Claim Capital You Never New You Had: Earn From Your Blog or Website In Your Sleep...


      that was weak, more later.
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      • Profile picture of the author ocmnet
        Originally Posted by malarky View Post

        passive is a very weak word to use in a headline.

        Maybe this is better?? New Simple but Powerful Method to Monetize Your Blog
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  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
    A better way for you to look at it might be that passive income is income with NO extra work. I'm not an instant headline machine like some of the others here but that should give you some ideas.

    Use a pic of yourself.

    I wouldn't have your examples right at the top, use at least a little introductory copy about who you are and what these cloud thingies are.

    And be very cautious about making the links clickable, you don't want your reader to go and not come back.

    You say it's a fact that visitors click on clouds and that they definitely will do. You need to have some sort of proof of this or it's just unsubstantiated hype.

    There doesn't seem to be any real structure to your sales argument, it's all over the place. The bit about Clickbank at the very bottom seemed completely out of place.

    Get a signature.
    Signature

    Andrew Gould

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    • Profile picture of the author dorothydot
      Hi,

      You have
      New Simple but Powerful Method
      to Earn Ongoing Passive Income
      from Your Website or Blog





      I think I'd make it much more direct and less wordy. Maybe something like, How Your Website or Blog Can Send You Money While You Relax With a Good Movie

      or

      Turn Your Website or Blog Into A Golden Egg-Laying Money Machine

      or

      Make Your Website or Blog Start Paying For Itself - and Then Some!
      Signature

      "Sell the Magic of A Dream"
      www.DP-Copywriting-Service.com

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    • Profile picture of the author ocmnet
      Thank you for your feedback, Andrew. Much appreciated

      Originally Posted by Andrew Gould View Post

      Use a pic of yourself.
      Get a signature.
      Did both. Picture at the Top or Bottom?

      Originally Posted by Andrew Gould View Post

      And be very cautious about making the links clickable, you don't want your reader to go and not come back.
      Understand, but in this case it is part of the demo of the product - AND it demonstrates the "opens in a new window" feature

      Originally Posted by Andrew Gould View Post

      The bit about Clickbank at the very bottom seemed completely out of place.
      Agree. I removed it.
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      • Profile picture of the author DA
        good idea

        But to be honest I don't like colors of your tag clouds, they don't match each other, complete mess
        I wouldn't buy your product with it's current color selection - looks a bit cheap, pure advertising.
        Your sales page design looks nice and clean, but cb cloud tags ruin it (sorry for honest opinion).

        Choose no more than 3-5 colors and your tag clouds will look 'cleaner'.
        If possible - offer your buyers a choice of colors (offer at least 3-4 combinations to chose from). Some people prefer clean black and white design, others migh like more colorful clouds.

        Not everyone is an Internet Marketer; some people have blogs about arts, photography and care about design of their blog, and designers will never place clouds like that to their blogs because of poor color choice.

        I love the idea of having cb tag clouds on my blogs, and I would buy your product if offered suitable color choice.

        Check kuler.adobe.com for color ideas
        Signature
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      • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
        Originally Posted by ocmnet View Post

        Did both. Picture at the Top or Bottom?
        Picture at the top, usually on the left and making sure you're looking into the page.

        Also, it's worth testing having your signature above the fold, just underneath and to the right of the headline as well as at the bottom.
        Signature

        Andrew Gould

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        • Profile picture of the author Ross Bowring
          New "Clickbank Tag Clouds" Unleash A Windshield Smashing Hailstorm Of Unexpected Blog-Profits...

          Maybe alongside a stockphoto of a silhouetted someone... arms raised in celebration in the rain... think Tim Robbins in Shawshank Redemption...

          --- Ross
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          • Profile picture of the author ocmnet
            OK, DA. I added some Color Themes as you suggested, and "None" means they will be same color as the default for all the other tags on your site. So if your site has red tags, cbTagClouds will also be red.

            Ross, I like your ideas for the title best so far. I might shorten it to something like "Unleash a Hailstorm of Easy Blog Profits". Need to live with it for a while.

            Andrew, I moved my pic to the top.

            Thank you to everyone for your thoughts.
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            • Profile picture of the author Zero
              Its not much but i only see your guarantee once in the entire copy. You need to make sure its easily noticeable. It'd be nice to actually see the price your charging on the main copy. Make it clear you'll be charging $x quarterly/annually.
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              • Profile picture of the author DA
                Good change, some color choices are really nice.
                Photo at the top - looks much better now.

                Have you got an eCover for your product? I just noticed that you have ecover for a bonus, not product itself.

                Agree with others - make sure they see price of the product, and after that - your bonus offer.
                Signature
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  • Profile picture of the author Jo_Shua
    Tim,

    When I look at your current headline and it does not intrigue me NOR does it spark a curiosity... I am in your target market as I have a few blogs going. This is a neat way to monetize on those blogs.

    Then, I take a look at your first sub-headline...
    WOW! Why didn't someone think of this before?

    That does cause some curiosity. What are you WoWing? What is it that no one else has every thought of? I am hooked, and I want to know more... Yet, you already showed me 'what' no one has thought of right after the first headline.

    I would put more curiosity into this letter. I would remove your current headline and use this sub-headline in it's place. Don't show your CB Tag Cloud example so early... work your way up to it AND show why it is 'WoW' and make the reader think: 'Why didn't I think of this before...' After they ask that question in their mind, then, you can show an example...
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    • Profile picture of the author ocmnet
      Great idea, Joshua!

      Why didn't I think of it before!

      Made a few mods. You are right, I think it does read much better. Take another look...

      CB Tag Clouds

      Thanks!
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  • Profile picture of the author Richard B Riddick
    Banned
    [DELETED]
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    • Profile picture of the author Jo_Shua
      Originally Posted by ocmnet View Post

      Great idea, Joshua!

      Why didn't I think of it before!

      Made a few mods. You are right, I think it does read much better. Take another look...

      CB Tag Clouds

      Thanks!
      Well, it is better in the sense that you moved the example down the line and built on the curiosity more.

      Now, your problem still lies with that headline. As is, it does not tie into the rest of the letter. Indirectly? Yes, but not directly.

      Also, you are asking for the money too early in this particular letter. Remove that first call to action... (later you can test it if you prefer, but I believe it is out of place for now)

      Want to try something different? Remove the headline all together. Move your picture down the page some for when you introduce yourself...

      Try something like this:

      Fellow Affiliate Marketers,

      It seems like every once in a blue moon, something comes along, and you just say:

      "WOW! Why didn't someone think of this before?"

      You know, Hundreds of Thousands of people are promoting products from the Clickbank Marketplace today. YOU might very likely be one of them.
      Clickbank makes it easy for you to put ads on your website or blog to promote their products. They are called HopAds, and many affiliate marketers make tremendous amounts of money from them day after day, month after month.

      The problem is... they look like ads,
      and many people just don't click on them.


      Well mark your calendar, because today, Thursday, March 18, I have solved that problem for you, forever!

      Introducing - Clickbank Tag Clouds

      Take a look at the example cbTagClouds below and modify them yourself:

      example here

      Put your pic here

      Tim Brechbill here, the creator of CB TagClouds, AND about now I bet you're saying...

      "WOW! Why didn't I think of this before?"

      "Monetize your sites with Clickbank Tag Clouds." What more do I need to say? The idea is so simple and so powerful that it really is a No Brainer.

      Literally within minutes, you can generate $Hundreds when someone clicks on your cbTagClouds. You would almost be a fool if you didn't use them.
      FACT: Visitors Click on Clouds

      Clouds are really common on the Internet. I'm sure you've seen them on many sites. Unlike other methods of monetization, cbTagClouds integrate so seamlessly into your site that visitors have absolutely no fear associated with clicking on them. Of course... More clicks means more profits for you!

      so forth so forth...

      You will notice that your sub-line will actually act as a headline... and the opener fellow affiliate marketer will be a qualifier... and the opening sentence will be similar to a pre-header.

      In this regard it will make for a good opener, and somewhat different than what the norm is... which will catch readers.

      Just an idea you can toy with, but you truly need to test out different tweaks and headlines to see what works best for you.

      Originally Posted by Richard B Riddick View Post

      Are you testing?
      Testing is a huge factor... A tweak here and there my seem like a good idea... A certain headline may seem like the BEST... However, is that tweak or headline the most efficient?

      Just because it 'looks' good does not mean it will produce results.

      Get some testing up for when you go live.
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  • Profile picture of the author ocmnet
    OK, Joshua. See what you think about the changes you suggested?
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  • Profile picture of the author Mr. Enthusiastic
    New pitch for you. Cheers, Chris

    ---

    CB Tag Clouds
    It's Raining Money On Your Blog...
    ...and all you do is collect a downpour of effortless profits!

    Hi, I'm Tim Brechbil. I love blogging, and I love affiliate commissions from Clickbank, the world's largest marketplace for Internet sales affiliates.

    Clickbank is easy to get started with, but maddening in the long run. It's easy enough to pick a product, create a Clickbank link and paste the link into a blog. This means that as people visit for articles, news, RSS feeds, videos, podcasts -- whatever type of content you like to put on your blog -- a percentage of visitors will "hop over" to the sales letter. If they like what's for sale, Clickbank and the vendor handle billing, shipping, fulfillment, and give you a commission check every 30 days.

    You probably already knew about this. But you've probably also seen the hidden headaches.

    It's time consuming to pick products.
    The top selling products today might fall out of favor next week.
    Changing products requires that manual "hoplink creation and paste" step. It's not hard, but it is tedious and geeky.

    It's like trying to win at the stock market by picking the right company, at the right time.

    I got sick of the uncertainty. I knew their had to be an easier way. And guess what... there wasn't, so I had to create it. I tested it on my own sites, loved the easy flow of cash, and decided that Clickbank is such a huge opportunity that I might as well let you in on this secret but oh so powerful software.

    When you learn how it works, you'll understand why I'm not afraid to share it at an amazingly low investment.

    The hottest blogging innovation right now is "tag clouds." These are bundles of key words or phrases, in different sizes to show which "tags" are used the most.

    CBTagClouds finds the hottest products on Clickbank right now, in the most successful categories. It then creates a tag cloud featuring these products.

    Every time a visitor arrives at a page with CBTagCloud, a unique combination of fresh, hot selling products are featured in a brand new tag cloud.

    Refresh the page, get a fresh tag cloud.
    Add CBTagCloud to a different page or blog you control, get a brand new tag cloud.
    Pick a different category, get a new tag cloud.

    It's all automatic yet also fully under your control. It less than a minute, you install the plugin, pick your category, and from then on you just sit back while Clickbank sells one proven hot product after another to your visitors. We update the hot selling categories weekly so you can give up on boring keyword statistics. Your job is now: collect the profits!

    This is the ultimate way to create an autopilot cash machine. Or as I like to call it, a thunderstorm of profits flooding your bank account... while you stay cozy and dry!

    I'm so confident you'll love it that I offer an unconditional 60 day money back guarantee. Love it or don't pay for it. I think you're gonna love it.

    The rain of profits starts March 18. Want to splash some money into your blog?
    Here's how to order now:

    Disclaimer link * Privacy link
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    • Profile picture of the author ocmnet
      Wow, Chris. You really put a lot into this. Gives me a lot to think about. I guess that's why it is a good idea to do testing.

      Thank you for such a thoughtful reply!
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      • Profile picture of the author ocmnet
        Still waiting for a few graphic tweaks, but I thought everybody make like to see what this has evolved into with all of your help:

        CB Cash Clouds

        Tremendous improvement. This is what this forum is all about. There are sooo many helping souls here

        BTW, Not 1 single person asked for the free membership I offered, but it was provided anyway
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  • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
    Banned
    You don't need to be clever in your headline. Just tell them what you have, what it does and why they should have one too. Like -

    Oh Cool! Why didn't someone think of this before?


    Monetize Your Site with
    CLICKBANK TAG CLOUDS

    ...make money with the HOTTEST Clickbank keywords

    Your page needs rewriting. And I would make the DIY widget the hero. Great product. Why on earth don't you invest in a copywriter? This page could be so much better.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jo_Shua
      Much better... The graphics are way better than what you had earlier.

      Still, the letter overall could use some tweaking.

      But, whether you do decide to hire a copywriter or do it yourself make sure that you do get some testing up and going as soon as possible.


      JC
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      • Profile picture of the author BusyMum_2010
        Hello ocmnet,

        You don't have contact address in cbCashClouds sales site. This is the reason I am contacting you here.

        I am planning to buy your cbCashClouds to put on my blogs and websites. But, it has "powered by cbCashClouds" after those keywords cloud. That will still give the visitor a hint that it's an ad. Do you have an option to take that out when setting it up?

        Also, what's the difference of your free wp plug-in cbtagclouds with cbcashclouds? Do you take out a %age or share of affiliate earnings on cbTagClouds? What's the catch of using cbTagClouds?

        Thanks a lot for your help.

        Regards.

        Maria
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  • Profile picture of the author backlinkking3
    You Don't Have To Reach For The Stars !

    $$The Clouds Have A Silver Lining$$
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  • Profile picture of the author Dietriffic
    Fed up with 'Ad Blind' Visitors Not Clicking On Your Adsense?

    "Brand New Cutting-Edge Monetization Method
    Adds Compelling And Relevant Keyword Tags To Your Site
    Giving Your Visitors The Answers They're Looking For
    While Making You Money...Effortlessly!"


    "It's So Powerful, Don't Be Surprised If Your Visitors Thank You
    For Providing The Information That Will Discreetly Earn You Limitless Cash!"
    Signature

    — Melanie (RD)

    Weight loss/fitness marketers earn 75% per sale with... The Fat Reversal Formula
    Join me: Twitter and Facebook

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