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How do you find my copy?

by DavidSaaf
7 replies
Hi Guys,

Your input is appreciated.. here's my copy >> Exciting movements guarantee a Flexible, Lean and Supercharged you...


Best,

David
#copy #find
  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
    It was an interesting enough read but it didn't really sell me the book. It sold me on finding out more about the book.

    I think it's a great pre-sell page but I'm going to want to find out more about the actual product before deciding to buy.
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    Andrew Gould

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  • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
    Banned
    [DELETED]
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    • Profile picture of the author Rezbi
      Originally Posted by Alexa Smith View Post

      I just click on your url, and there it is.
      Exactly what I was thinking. Glad I'm not the only one with a warped sense of humour.
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    I only skimmed it, so bear that in mind.

    First of all... I think the flow of your copy is weird. The order form should be at the end, not half way through... and there are other examples of this I won't go into.

    Secondly... I don't believe the claims you're making. I'm not saying they're untrue... I'm saying they're not believable. At least not to me... and I'd hazard not to your potential customer either (at least in the way they're presented).

    Finally... the whole thing lacks impact. The writing is pleasant enough, but it certainly doesn't make me want your product (which it should).

    I don't think an interview really works in this context... but a video interview, like an infomercial... that's a different story.

    -Dan
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    Always looking for badass direct-response copywriters. PM me if we don't know each other and you're looking for work.

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  • Profile picture of the author npope
    this is a very good step you have done a great job i apperciate it
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    Carson Rose and Associates
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  • Profile picture of the author Rezbi
    Originally Posted by DavidSaaf View Post

    Hi Guys,

    Your input is appreciated.. here's my copy >> Exciting movements guarantee a Flexible, Lean and Supercharged you...


    Best,

    David
    "An Ancient Solution to Modern Problems"

    Forget Everything You Know About Yoga: Chaker Saaf Has Broken the Mold
    Look at your headline and ask yourself this question:

    So what!?

    Don't assume your target prospect is going to read on to find out what you're talking about.

    Tell him how this benefits him... in the title.
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  • Profile picture of the author dtendrich
    Hey...

    Cool start.

    About the headline...
    "An Ancient Solution to Modern Problems"

    I like the ancient solution angle - but what modern problems are you talking about? Here's a great chance to call out your target market by identifying what those "problems" are.

    Best,
    David
    Signature
    Copywriting Tips, internet marketing jargon, thoughts, and rants by me.

    Atlanta Copywriter, serving clients worldwide.

    Write your life.
    David Tendrich
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