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Please critique my squeeze page

by KA
11 replies
Hi,

This my squeeze page:

How to Gain Confidence 3 | How to Gain Confidence

I tried a variation:
How to Gain Confidence 5 | How to Gain Confidence
which has more benefits listed, but it tested much worse.

I would really appreciate some advice about improving my squeeze page.
#critique #page #squeeze
  • Profile picture of the author Loren Woirhaye
    For self-help I suggest the PAS model.

    Problem - agitation - solution.

    My favorite example is a billboard in California:

    "Got Bees?

    Killer Bees

    Call 800-KILL-BEES"

    See? It injects fear into the prospect like Botox into
    a soccer-mom's forehead.

    Emphasize the painful consequences of not having confidence -
    twist the knife mercilessly.

    ie. "Are you tongue-tied at parties?"

    "Do girls laugh in your face when you try to talk to them?"

    "Were you passed over for promotion at work?"
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    • Profile picture of the author KA
      Thanks.

      Those are good points. As they say, people will do more to avoid pain than seek pleasure.

      I've tried those sort of "avoid pain" headlines before and for some reason they have never converted as well on this page. Maybe it was the way I implemented them...I might try and re-visit it.

      But thanks for your comments.

      PS I love the expression "injects fear into the prospect like Botox into
      a soccer-mom's forehead."
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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    I like the title to your report and the promises it makes. I think Loren is right in putting fear in the forefront. Maybe something like,

    Do You Need To Wear Depends When Approaching Someone Of The Opposite Sex Just To Stay Balanced?

    You can obviously adjust that headline to fit the niche. Then as a sub-header you could add, Feel totally and completley confident in any and all situtations with a few minor 'attitude' adjuctments. Good luck.
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  • Profile picture of the author Rajan Cajan
    In confidence 3 I would change the following: 1) Change the headline as suggested by travelguy. 2) For the subhead set a deadline example, Act Before Midnight April 8,2010, And Download blah blah Absolutely free. 3) Give benefits in a bulleted fashion.
    4) Move your e-book to the right directly above your opt-in. Test to see if this works better.
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  • Profile picture of the author Sam Mlambo
    Who are you? and why should I listen to you about gaining self confidence?

    Maybe answering those questions might help

    - Sam
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  • Profile picture of the author Loren Woirhaye
    "Confidence" is really too general to be an effective
    market.

    "Confidence with women" (or men, or dating) is specific.

    Ok?

    Your stuff needs to install mental movies in your reader's
    brain. "confidence" is a concept. It's abstract. Mind
    movies are specific visuals.

    Somebody came in here a day or so ago with a squeeze
    page about "living your best life" and I'm, like, "what?"

    Specifics sell. Generalities don't.
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    • Profile picture of the author KA
      Hi

      Thanks for the feedback.

      "Confidence" is really too general to be an effective
      market.
      You are right that it's not niched down enough.

      Because the product is about confidence in general, if I put a specific (e.g. confidence in dating) headline, then I scare off half the other people who came to the site.

      But this leaves me with two choices. Re-design my entire site and get a new product that is more specific or tweak my existing site to improve conversion.

      I'll go with the latter. This page is still converting at 20% so it's not like it's a complete disaster.

      Who are you? and why should I listen to you about gaining self confidence?
      This is a really good point. I have struggled with this for a while. I have kept myself almost anonymous on this site, because my day job "conflicts" with this site. I do need to think of a way to give some kind of personality to the site, without "compromising my secret identity". People buy from people.

      Move your e-book to the right directly above your opt-in. Test to see if this works better.
      Do you mean, put all the text on the left side of the page, and then the picture of the book and the opt in on the right?

      Do You Need To Wear Depends When Approaching Someone Of The Opposite Sex Just To Stay Balanced?
      That's a great headline, but as I said earlier, my niche is too general for that, and I risk turning away people who aren't looking for confidence for dating etc.

      Again, thanks for all the feedback! I really appreciate it.
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  • Profile picture of the author Rajan Cajan
    KA, I had to go to bed, but that is exactly what I meant. Text on the left and ebook and opt-in on the right. Hope this helps.
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Sanchez
    Stuff at the top I personally think shouldn't be there. Reduce it and place it at the bottom.

    Your squeeze page is about one thing: getting someone to see the copy that tells them to optin their email.

    3 things:

    Customer's issues:

    Problems with self confidence (headline should relate to that and give them the impression that you can solve that particular issue.

    Doesn't want spam

    Doesn't want some crappy free ebook that's worthless

    The book has no value. Makes little promise.

    Wants something that works (don't make it a sales letter; the free ebook should provide valuable info or content as to prove it works)

    Deal with those issues and you should get better optins.

    How about:

    Can you finally win over the worst life long fears, self doubt and conquer your anxieties after just 10 minutes a day?

    Then go on with the rest.

    You could go more specific if you'd like a story based headline might work.

    Needs to be specific enough to evoke an image of
    specific to overcoming low self worth. I would have to work on it though and this is all you can get for free from me at the moment.
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  • Profile picture of the author Stephen Dean
    Yes, be more specific. That's the biggest piece of advice you need right now. Who is this page talking to? Why would someone want to be confident? What will it help them achieve? What is their lack of confidence keeping them from doing?

    You need to answer all these questions. Create a "perfect customer" in your mind, and write the squeeze page for them.

    I like the length of your squeeze, so you don't need to write on and on. But it does need to be reworked badly.

    Cheers,
    Stephen Dean
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    Free Coaching WSO: How to finish all your 2013 "Goals" in JANUARY with my proven productivity secrets - taken from 9 years working as a freelance copywriter. Click Here

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  • Profile picture of the author eQuus
    The page suffers from lack of confidence.
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