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Twitter Product Headline Help!

by rmedlin2
2 replies
Here is what I have right now. I would appreciate help making it better and also some split testing options. Thanks in advance.

Free Video Reveals The #1 Secret Of How To Make Money With Twitter, Automate Multiple Income Streams That Pay You Monthly, And Finally Create The Successful Online Business You Always Wanted But Never Knew How To Get Until Now...
#headline #product #twitter
  • Profile picture of the author Loren Woirhaye
    Too many words. Convoluted. Simplify.

    I might write something like:

    "Twitter Miracle Makes Lots Of Money - Free Video"

    It may sound kind of dumb, but at least it's not loaded with
    assumptions and implications about what my reader wants.

    Why do you need to assume your readers "Always wanted
    but never knew how to get until now" to "finally create the
    successful online business"?

    You're headline is peppered with extraneous words you don't need.

    What if I already know how to create a web business? DO
    I not need your video because I am not clueless about business?

    Tell what's in it for me, not what you think my problems are.
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  • Profile picture of the author AwesomePossum
    How about this:

    Free Video Reveals The #1 Twitter Secret That Will Make You an Automated Monthly Income.

    Or just go The #1 Automated Monthly Income Twitter Strategy....

    Or the....hmm...The secret to turn Twitter into a money machine that pays you month after month...

    The secret to turn Twitter into an automated monthly money making machine.

    The secret that reveals how to turn twitter into an automatic money making machine

    Sound pretty good to me so I'll stop : )

    Hope this helped a little bit....try to keep things short but powerful. Extra words kill. I have some in there like...secret reveals would be better than the scret that reveals. You get the point...short, powerful, and to the point.

    Hope this helped

    Aaryn
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    ONLY 100 COPIES LEFT!! The $1,000,000 Secret:
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