Our conversion rate sucks. What are we doing wrong?

Maybe the traffic you are getting is not the right one for your product. Might be you are targeting the wrong kind of traffic. Check out the traffic source first and see what kind of visitors are coming your way.

My first thought is you should either market this to RE agents or buyers, not both at the same time. Otherwise it feels schizophrenic, because the two groups will have different sets of expectations, hopes, goals, etc. I assume you'd pick buyers, because there are more of them and they're much more likely to have fears and uncertainties that your book could address and solve.

For instance, at one point you say that most agents are afraid to tell you the cold, brutal truth, and a couple of paragraphs later you're addressing real estate agents and trying to sell to them... pick one or the other, either it's a guide for RE professionals or it's to help bewildered buyers sort out their confusion.

I'd get rid of that giant "You Win!" at the top of the page, and get rid of it as the title of the book. It's a very generic phrase that doesn't convey any specific benefit to the reader. When they arrive at your sales page, that's the first thing that jumps out at them, but it doesn't tell them anything they need to know.

I'm currently in the process of helping to prepare my parents' old home for sale. It's the first time I've been personally involved in buying or selling a house, and I'd never heard of "staging" until our RE agent mentioned it. I have no idea if I'm typical, but you might keep that in mind if you're going to use that term (I didn't see it that many times).

I think you're on the right track with the video (the top one, I haven't watched the other one yet).

I like the idea of before-and-after pictures, but most of them look like the room was given a complete and expensive total remodel/makeover. That could be definitely turning off some people, as you mentioned, by making them think it's going to be a huge amount of time, money, and energy doing this. It would be a pretty steep curve persuading people that the extra return would be worth all that effort.

There are too many numbers in the chart with all the percentages on the right. It would be better to translate that into dollars -- that's more concrete and hits people where it counts, much more than abstract statistics.

I'm curious about this statement:

My math could be way off, but it looks like spending $500 (which is very reasonable) will add less than $2k to the home's selling price. Our RE agent said almost the same exact thing, but he added a zero to it. That is, if we spend around $5,000 we could get an extra $20k for the house. That's the same percentage as in your example, but it definitely got our attention in a way that an extra grand or so wouldn't.

That's a few thoughts, I haven't read the whole thing yet. Looks like a good start overall.

Thank you all so much. Your comments are very helpful, and I appreciate them.

I was wondering if this letter was trying too hard...looks like maybe it was.

Points taken about the traffic, the audience, and the math...need to rethink those.

Hi

I agree with pretty much everything that the previous poster said. As you need to attract attention and retain them quickly I would renovate that headline. Can you change the name of the product?

"You Win" could mean anything gambling etc. Say what it is "How to Sell Your Home Now" "How to Sell Your Home in 4 weeks or less" I don't know what's possible if 4 weeks is and it';s believable to the market then test it. Come up with 3 or 4 headlines that are benefit related. I.e speed of sale etc.

I too would be put off by the amount of work that the pictures of before and after imply! sorry. We have shows here in the UK that do that sort of thing but they pay for it

Good luck
Lynne

There are likely a few things that are killing your conversion rate... And I'll try to be as gentle as possible, since it does look like you worked very hard on this letter.

First, the "You Win" - it takes attention away from your real headline, but doesn't add anything to your message. It is basically just a distraction, and although you have the attention thing down, this isn't attracting attention to your product - just the headline.

And speaking of the headline... It could use some work. Nobody wants to "prepare their home for sale" - they just want to get top dollar for their house. Learning how to prepare their home for sale is a feature of your product. Getting more money for their house - that's the benefit. Use that in your headline.

I agree with selling to homeowners, but you don't have to cut off realtors completely. Put something above the fold that attracts attention without being too distracting (a fine line to walk, I know...) that says something like "Realtors, click here!" and have a sales page dedicated just to them. Do the same thing on the realtors letter, saying "Home owners - click here!" - just in case either demographic ends up on the wrong site.

You could probably use a slight redesign, too, for credibility purposes...

The letter does seem like it is trying a bit too hard, and a bit schizophrenic - but that may be helped by selling to only one type of buyer at a time.

For readability, you need more spacing on either side of the text - and probably to use a different font, as well. It is a bit hard on the eyes.

Wait, I just noticed - this ebook is co-written by Terry Haas of HGTV? Why wasn't that mentioned sooner! Talk about attracting attention, people believe what they see on TV more than what they see in real life, for heaven's sake. USE THAT! Use it to your full advantage!

Don't talk about how much money they have to spend. That's a big no-no. People already assume that they'll have to spend *something* - but putting a dollar figure on it sets expectations (where you talk about spending $500.) One of two things will happen because of that statement... Either they'll say "whoa, I have to spend $500 AFTER I buy this product? no thanks..." - OR - they'll buy it, realize that they probably have to spend MORE than $500 to do it properly - and get p!ssed off. Maybe even ask for a refund. Lose that part ASAP.

Don't ask "why not just reduce the price", because people aren't thinking that. People don't WANT to reduce the price of their home. They want to RAISE it. Try a subhead more like... "You don't have to reduce the price of your home - just increase it's appeal!" etc. etc.

The copy is also way too long. I'm getting bored reading it, to be honest. I'm skimming and nothing is catching my attention. If I were a buyer, I likely would have clicked away already.

I'll be honest - this probably needs to be done over from scratch. It has some fundamental problems that simply can't be addressed with a few critiques on the forum here, and some editing on your part. That may help - but it won't solve your problem, sorry to say.

Feel free to get in touch if you have any other questions, I'm here to help And good luck!

Thank you Lynne and Cherilyn! Very much. I appreciate your taking the time to look at it and reply. We have some serious work to do. :-)

Melody

You're pushing for the sale too early. Those "Buy now" buttons are scary. The top vid is, sorry, cheesy. One of you looks like a deer in the headlights. Its not natural. And you push too hard with the "scroll to the bottom and hit the buy button" - you're scaring people off. Get a Flow Player - not YouTube. YT just looks cheap. Replace the top video with the second one - that's much better. You're on to something with the "before and after" shots...but how much more powerful would it be if it were on video? Easy enough to do too. There's a lot of wasted space with the plain banner at the top and the first few lines.
In short - you're trying too hard for the sale and scaring people off. Make the page more like a resource and then go for the sale.