Lots of traffic but no conversions

by Manie

Posted: 14 years ago 16 replies

COPY WRITING

Hey Guys

I have just joined the Warrior Forum and this looks like a great forum!

This is my first attempt at writing a sales letter for an ebook. The ebook is to help people who are suffering from UTI. Little competition in this niche. Please, I need honest (don't worry about hurting my feelings) feedback.

I only had 7 sales in the first 3 days and then it dropped off to nothing. Something must be wrong.

I get plenty of clicks per day but I am not getting any conversions. I have changed a few things (headline, offer, guarantee extended etc.) but with no success.

The sales letter is at: uti-gone.com

Thank you for your help

Manie

#conversions #ebook #lots #sales letter #traffic

ElGatito 14 years ago

I'm not sure, there could be many reasons.

Personally I find it looks like a salesletter. It doesn't look like I'm going to learn anything, it just has a salespitch. You could develop on what you are offering to the person reading the salesletter.

Where do you get your traffic from? Is it from social media?

Also, I just find there is a lot of stuff before the copy starts. Out of curiosity, would someone looking on a UTI cure site, would they really want to look on a salesletter to look at the syndromes?

So in essence, I'd say tell them what to do, and not how to do it. A good example would be Ghostwriting System where Jason Fladlien. In this salesletter Jason, really explains hat is in his product, but doesn't really tell How to do it.

And second, check where the traffic comes. If its from social media, direct them to a blog which redirects to this site.
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travlinguy 14 years ago

Here's the link: http://uti-gone.com/

You should create a sig file and put the link in it. WF allows even the newest members to do that.

Your header is way too big. It's taking up valuable space up top - space that would be better used to grab your reader's attention.

You have virtually no headline, nothing to draw your reader in. You also promise a cure right up front. Be very careful with that. The FDA, FTC and the AMA don't like it and any or all of them could pick a fight with you. It's probably not likely but it's smart to talk about relief rather than a cure.

You mention an ancient tribal remedy. Most of the woman I know would click away from that real fast. I'd say you really need to qualify that part and develop it out with a rational explanation right up front because the way it stands you could be talking about Voo Doo for all your reader knows.

You launch right into 7 points or reasons or whatever. It's best to first establish the problem. Relate to your readers. Talk about chronic urinary tract infections... the constant burning... the inability express spontaneous passion (love making) due to the ever-present UTI... constantly having to go to the bathroom... the time spent at the doctor, the expense and nasty side effects of prescription drugs...

Think problem, solution.

These problems are things your readers will relate to. Build it up. Lay it all out there. Then offer your book as the solution. You've got a LONG way to go before this page will convert successfully. If I were you I'd seriously consider hiring a good writer.
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HowWhoWhen 14 years ago

I'm not sure how long you've been selling it but I would give it at least a week maybe two before jumping to conclusions. Sometimes the day of the week has a very big effect on the buying mood of the visitor.
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Loren Woirhaye 14 years ago

Too many bonuses. Some are of dubious relevance
to a woman with a peeing problem.

All she wants is relief. She doesn't want to be
a natural health expert. She is not curious. She
doesn't want to know about the things that
interest you, like herbs and making money
online. She is hurting and she only wants
relief.
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Johnny12345 14 years ago

Here are a few points to consider...

1) I suspect that the FTC and FDA wouldn't like some of your copy because:

* You promise a cure.

* Some of your testimonials state a specific result.

* The author doesn't seem to be a medical doctor or authority.

2) The layout is a train wreck. Red, blue, green, yellow -- all the colors of a rainbow. On eBay, they call this a "Las Vegas" listing (because it uses so many colors that it becomes gaudy).

My point is that your layout doesn't inspire confidence or trust. It looks amateurish.

3) The last five bonuses should be removed. (Seriously, what does "found money" have to do with a medical problem?)

4) The copy needs -- at the very least -- a thorough rewrite.

-Johnny
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- Ross Bowring 14 years ago
  
  The stockphoto woman in the burgundy top doesn't convey the seriousness of a UTI. Women who go through UTI's are seriously miserable. They don't see the lighter side. They're not scrunched up with a partial smile on their face. They're desperate to pee without pain.
  
  As has been said, ancient tribal remedy is going to turn a lot of women off. I think it's enough to go with the angle of already having everything you need in your kitchen.
  
  --- Ross
  
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nellypaekukui 14 years ago

Although I'm new to WF, and from reviewing the link to critique, I appreciate the views and suggestions made regarding improving the sales letter. I agree with the comment above about the header too large and the approach to presenting the problem first before promoting the solution.

This Forum definitely is a place to learn from others. Thank you.
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- Manie 14 years ago
  
  Thanks Guys
  
  Great feedback. Very good and valid points made.
  
  I am changing the sales letter according to your feedback..
  
  Thanks again
  
  Manie
  
  Thanks
  
  1 reply
  
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  Manie 14 years ago
  
  Hi Guys
  
  Thanks for the honest feedback, it was great. We have made lots of changes using the information you provided.
  
  We are using Google adwords to get traffic. Over the last few days we are selling one book every 2nd day.
  
  We would really appreciate it if you could give us feedback on the improved sales letter.
  
  We are struggling with the headline and with what to say in the header.
  
  Thanks for your feedback
  
  Manie
  
  Thanks
  
  1 reply
  
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  Harlan 14 years ago
  
  Where are you getting traffic from?
  
  What are the keywords?
  
  Are you capturing emails and mailing autoresponders?
  
  How much demand is there for this product?
  
  Thanks
  
  2 replies
  
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  Harlan D. Kilstein Ed.D.
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  RickDuris 14 years ago
  
  Hi Manie,
  
  No offense or disrespect: You are NOT thinking like your prospective customer.
  
  For instance, if I have a urinary tract infection, what am I thinking about?
  
  Really? WHAT AM I THINKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW?
  
  Definitely not how valuable your bonuses are.
  
  That's just a for instance.
  
  Bottom line: Your page does not convince. Little integrity. And legitimate prospects will abandon.
  
  - Rick Duris
  
  Thanks
  
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  Manie 14 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Harlan
  
  Where are you getting traffic from?
  
  What are the keywords?
  
  Are you capturing emails and mailing autoresponders?
  
  How much demand is there for this product?
  
  We get our traffic from PPC. We are not capturing emails. We get about 300 clicks per day.
  
  Thanks
  
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JustinDupre

14 years ago

That's a lot of info on 1 page. Try breaking it up. First page, introduce a little about what your goals are with this product, and GRAB THE EMAIL from them before allowing them to move on. You'll quadruple your profit I guarentee it.

Thanks
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jpf239 14 years ago

Hi Manie,

That was some great expert feedback for you to go with.

I will add, something here, eye continuation and eye flow of all the design elements is an important part of graphic design and visual arts, this should be revised to achieve better eye continuation, too much negative space in the header, and way too large.

Since you are able to convert a little as you stated, grab a professional designer that does it daily and pay them to help you there.

But mostly I suggest you do your preselling on a blog instead of a sales letter, I saw your link for blog but what if you had an seo optimized blog that also grabs free generic traffic from search. Use everyone's suggestions in this thread, but put it all in a blog page where the reader or prospect can be presold and even post a comment. Title the blog page with the most searched keywords on that subject.

Every question is a request for more information and usually leads to a sale. Presell in an optimized blog and link them to the page, they will be ready when they get there and wont need a bunch of other stuff.

Hope that helps:

Jon Fox
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Daniel Scott

14 years ago

Originally Posted by JustinDupre

I don't think this is the problem.

Manie... first of all... great first attempt.

I mean that. Most "first sales pages" are terrible. Yours isn't... so congrats.

Having said that... there are some serious problems you need to address.

First and foremost I'm not seeing much of a hook or USP here. You're in a desperate market, so some people will buy just for relief... but without some kind of hook you're leaving a lot of money on the table.

Secondly... upgrade your story a little. Tell us about how YOU suffered... how terrible it made you feel... how you were too embarrassed to be intimate with your husband!

Make them feel the pain... the despair... and the grief.

Finally... you're missing credibility. Making the author more "3D" will help get there... but you've got issues with your language and so forth. It's all "little" stuff... but together it adds up to be a serious problem.

I'd also pay close attention the the aforementioned legal issues... just to cover your butt.

-Dan

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RentItNow 14 years ago

1) No price below the order button (see paypals recent survey about abandoned purchases to understand the problem with this)
2) First price they see while scanning is $257.
3) Give them something they can use RIGHT AWAY!
4) Graphics header sucks (see my article re this Website Graphics - Website Headers Suck! )
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I have no agenda but to help those in the same situation. This I feel will pay the bills.
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