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Please Review My Squeeze Page

by HSam
12 replies
I would like some feedback from you all on my squeeze page.

My site is: Acid Reflux
#page #review #squeeze
  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    Okay, you're going to get some sign-ups with this page. That's the good news. The great news is, if you want to get a lot of sign-ups you can by doing just a few things.

    First, qualify your headline. What I mean is, you make the statement that,

    "Acid reflux is known to be one of the most common causes of cancer of the esophagus."

    If you want to gain credibility and increase your conversions, you'll offer some proof of your statement. Something like this: "According to the Tasmanian Cancer Institute, Acid Reflux..."

    Get a legit qualifier in there and you'll do a lot better. And while I'm at it, congratulations on getting your punctuation inside the quotation marks. You might be surprised at how many writers don't.

    You've got some minor issues with grammar and punctuation within the body of the rest of your page that can easily be cured by a competent proofreader. Overall, a nice effort. Good luck!
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    • Profile picture of the author backlinkking3
      Hello my friend,

      After reviewing the page, there are some very good points here.

      "There are various causes for acid reflux. Knowing the causes can help you seek the proper treatment, and stop acid reflux from destroying your life."

      This is a great attention seeker, but stating causes twice in one line doesn't read very well.

      What foods that 'trigger' acid reflux symptoms, and the foods that make acid reflux symptoms disappear

      Do you mean what foods 'trigger that acid reflux...?

      There is some great content there, can you move up the opt-in above the fold also? It might get you more people who are too lazy to scroll down the page.

      I would be glad to completely proof the page for you if you would like.

      Good luck,

      Brian
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  • Profile picture of the author mccflo99
    I have experience in this market and one thing that you definitely want to do is get a targeted photograph of a person holding their chest, showing discomfort. This is one of those physical pains which are easily demonstrable through pictures. Add the picture along side the headline and response will instantly go up.

    If you're driving traffic from a traffic source that's either predominantly male or predominantly female, add a picture of the targeted sex. If it's a mix, consider adding one of each sex.

    Chris Elliott
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    • Profile picture of the author scribblingduke
      How to forever cure acid reflux -- the second leading cause of esophagus cancer -- before it is too late.
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  • Profile picture of the author FiverrGuru
    Also move your opt in box above the fold.
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  • Profile picture of the author waltermulder
    The red title could be shorter and mention the number 1 advantage the readers of your ebook would have. For example: prevent esophagus cancer and live a healthy life (if this is right I'm not an native English speaker)

    Try to make the whole copy fit on one screen with text on the left and opt-in box on the right.

    Or...Shoot a graphical video on how to prevent esophagus cancer and put the opt-in box next to it.

    Hope this helps
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    Join a successful team, contact me

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  • Profile picture of the author 48dayscoach
    You mention insider secrets.... What makes them so? If you don't explain what makes them insider secrets... the reader has room to think you're hyping them. Did you interview a specialist, or complete a survey of people suffering from acid reflux?

    How many different causes of acid reflux will you reveal? Three or thirty-three?

    You might want to change the sequence of your 8th bullet to... "Simple mind numbing home remedies that will stop acid reflux". It sounds better.

    My two cents,
    Ramon
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  • Profile picture of the author Marco Yandun
    Stating below the submit box that the data you are going to collect is going to be safe with you is also very recommended (you are not going to sell or distribute it to avoid spams)

    Marco
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    • Profile picture of the author markpocock
      Your present headline has no benefit to the reader.
      You're just stating some facts.

      So the reader can say "So what?"

      Come up with a headline/promise your market
      hasn't seen before.

      You've got a good bribe with the free ebook.

      cheers

      Mark
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      Get a FREE 20 minute consultation on your sales letter. Contact me today
      And have the secrets A-List Copywriters - David Garfinkel & Parris Lampropoulos
      use in their multimillion dollar promotions
      www.markpocock.com

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  • Profile picture of the author BrianMcLeod
    I don't think the layout works as is.

    I'd go wider and shorter - try and squeeze
    your squeeze onto one screen if you can.

    The headline is weak, but it's got a hook
    buried in there about Acid Reflux being
    a "Silent Killer?"

    Make sure your optin form is above the fold
    preferably on the right side of the page.

    Hope this helps,

    Brian
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    Brian McLeod
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