Can you help me with a poorly converting squeeze page?

Banned 14 years ago

That's more like a mini-site than a squeeze page. Distil in down to one ball-tearer of an offer. And get rid of the cheesy "And much, much more" while you're at it - I want to throw up every time I see that.

"This unique system made me a side-income of more than $66k over the last year - and I only put 10 hours a week into it. Give me your first-born son and an email address and I'll tell you how I did it. No worries."

The opt-in just needs to be as simple as possible. Nuke the "Yes Robert...I'm so excited I could just pee" crap. Your readers aren't idiots. Respect them.

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Kevin-VirtualProfitCenter

14 years ago

Originally Posted by Metronicity

"Yes Robert...I'm so excited I could just pee" crap. Your readers aren't idiots. Respect them.

Actually Mal, I peed a little when I read it.

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OnlineMasterMind

14 years ago

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RickDuris

14 years ago

Hi Rob,

I have been thinking through your situation. I suspected this from the beginning, but given your request, I am going on record.

The term "computer consultant" sucks. It just does. No offense, or disrespect.

It's just too generic.

Microoft Network Engineer? Yes.

PC Network Administrator? yes.

Linux Administrator? Yes.

Do the research.

Let me give you the basis for my critique.

A long time ago, I was a part of the board of the directors for the ICCA. The ICCA committed the same sin. Too generic. Too overarching.

The hardest part, and I made this mistake too in the beginning until I wised up, I tried to be all things to all people as a programmer.

I realize you have 1st page ranking for the term "computer consultant." But you need to rethink and niche.

I'd immediately implement split testing against all the above terms, even though you have ranking for "computer consultant". Plus I'd go on the hunt for other technical computer-related professions.

In other words, niche yourself ten ways from Sunday.

- Rick Duris

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perryny

14 years ago

Originally Posted by RickDuris

Hi Rob,

I have been thinking through your situation. I suspected this from the beginning, but given your request, I am going on record.

The term "computer consultant" sucks. It just does. No offense, or disrespect.

It's just too generic.

Microoft Network Engineer? Yes.

PC Network Administrator? yes.

Linux Administrator? Yes.

Do the research.

Let me give you the basis for my critique.

A long time ago, I was a part of the board of the directors for the ICCA. The ICCA committed the same sin. Too generic. Too overarching.

The hardest part, and I made this mistake too in the beginning until I wised up, I tried to be all things to all people as a programmer.

I realize you have 1st page ranking for the term "computer consultant." But you need to rethink and niche.

I'd immediately implement split testing against all the above terms, even though you have ranking for "computer consultant". Plus I'd go on the hunt for other technical computer-related professions.

In other words, niche yourself ten ways from Sunday.

- Rick Duris

Hey Rick,

Thanks for putting thought into this. I'm not clear on what you're suggesting I do though.

When you say that "the term "computer consultant" sucks", you're meaning that as a Google Keyword for me to shoot for, it's too generic and won't attract targeted traffic, right? Assuming that's what you mean...

I went after "computer consultant" simply because the total number of monthly searches according to GKT was 135K (This was back in Dec. when I started this process. Last month it was about 60K). I knew it wasn't going to be ideally targeted, but I rationalized that even if I only captured the interest of 10% of the searchers, I'd still be doing better than if I ranked for my next best choice, "computer consulting" which was at about 8k.

I thought my best targets would be those searching for computer related "jobs", but looking at the competition (hotjobs, dice, monster, etc.), I figured it would be too great a challenge to break onto page 1.

I also figured the absolute best targeted keyword I could shoot for was "start a computer consulting business", but at a total of about 150 searches monthly, I decided my efforts would be better spent elsewhere for the time being and I'd conquer this long-tail keyword later on.

In looking at keywords like those you're suggesting, the monthly search numbers are also low:

Microsoft network engineer - 110
PC network administrator - <10
Linux administrator - 880 (unfortunately not my target market).

I did lots of keyword research (based on a very newbie understanding of the term) when I started this project and found very few "nicely targeted" keywords with upwards of 3k searches per month.

So are you suggesting that I find as many computer related keywords as possible and try to rank highly for all of them?

If so, should I be looking for a minimum number of monthly searches on the particular keywords I'm going to shoot for?

Also, am I supposed to rework my single squeeze page to appeal to all these separate niches? My original post was made because people are visiting my page but not opting-in. I'm concerned that even if I'm in the #1 Google position for "Microsoft Network Engineer", the problem of not getting the opt-in will still exist.

Also also, I'm concerned that the traffic I'm getting now, while low in quantity, should be high in quality. A decent amount is coming from my articles, youtube videos, tech forum sigs, etc. These are visitors that heard my initial message and decided to visit my page based on my recommendation. Then when they get there, they choose not to share their email address with me.

Rick, this post is way longer than I wanted it to be and I'm asking you more questions than I think I have a right to, plus I feel like I'm getting all over the place.

But I'm not clear on what you're suggesting and I really want to be.

So I'll shut up now. Thanks for reading.
-Rob

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perryny

14 years ago

Originally Posted by Metronicity

That's more like a mini-site than a squeeze page. Distil in down to one ball-tearer of an offer. And get rid of the cheesy "And much, much more" while you're at it - I want to throw up every time I see that.

"This unique system made me a side-income of more than $66k over the last year - and I only put 10 hours a week into it. Give me your first-born son and an email address and I'll tell you how I did it. No worries."

The opt-in just needs to be as simple as possible. Nuke the "Yes Robert...I'm so excited I could just pee" crap. Your readers aren't idiots. Respect them.

I thought you guys were supposed to soften me up first with, "Don't take this personal" and "I mean this in only the kindest and most respectful way" and "you've clearly put some hard work into this, but..."

In a couple of days when I get over it, I'll get to work on implementing your suggestions. I usually wouldn't have the cojones to ask for someone's first-born, but I'm happy to split test it.

Hey, look at that... I'm over it already. Thanks Mal, for the straight-shooting advice. Much appreciated.

Originally Posted by Kevin-VirtualProfitCenter

Actually Mal, I peed a little when I read it.

Hey Kevin,

Being that you're the guy with the 80%+ opt-in that I was referring to, I thought it'd be a smart move and a major time saver to pick up your WSO and put one of your templates to work for me.

I haven't looked at any of the materials yet, but I did actually look at your high-converting squeeze page yesterday (or at least the one that I assume is converting so well). The question I instantly had when my initial plan was to simply swipe the design was, "what do I use to the left of the opt-in box instead of testimonials?", being that the ones I have now aren't as powerful as I'd like.

I'm sure my question is answered in your materials, but hey... if you feel like saving me even more time and want to throw out a suggestion...

And sorry for messing up your boxers.
-Rob

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Kevin-VirtualProfitCenter 14 years ago
Originally Posted by perryny

I'm sure my question is answered in your materials, but hey... if you feel like saving me even more time and want to throw out a suggestion...

I was just picking on Mal and I didn't have time to answer you earlier. I like to pick on Mal.

Thanks for picking up my package. It should help you with this. Here are some specifics you will want to consider for your page...

The best formula for any opt-in page is simple:
1. Make a specific, limited promise.
2. Prove you can deliver on your promise.
3. Pitch the opt-in.
Depending on where your traffic is coming from you may be doing OK. 20% from a PPC campaign isn't bad--especially if your cost per lead is low.

On a product launch where visitors come pre-disposed to subscribe, 75% is too low.

Short is also not ALWAYS the best option--but in my experience it is most often the best. You can see even multi-page squeezes that work well in specific niches and with specific traffic sources. A couple months ago I created a 3 page squeeze for an adwords campaign and we averaged 100 leads a day with a positive 30 day ROI. Basically free leads.

The graph I shared the other day was for a test I am running using 4 variations of a squeeze page where the traffic all comes from a single ad. They do as well as they do because:
1. There is strong agreement between the ad and the landing page
2. The ad is running in the perfect target audience
3. The promise and proof are both powerful
If I were creating a squeeze page for this market (not knowing the traffic source) I would focus more on an immediate, specific but limited promise. Something along the lines of getting them their first paying client in the next 7 days or similar. You would have to tailor it to what you can deliver.

Keep in mind people want instant gratification and your opt-in promise is not designed to solve every problem in their lives, only a small but pressing one.

You asked what you can use instead of testimonials? Well, there are lots of things, but testimonials might be your best bet--even if you have to go out and grab some. Once you create a report that can deliver on your limited promise, have some of us read through it and give you a testimonial you can use.

Barring that, I would look at either a brief (< 90 sec) video or a quick benefit list using bullets. They have to trust you can deliver before they will give you the opt-in.

Design wise I would go with a plain paper style--it's in the WSO you purchased as well as showing how to set it up.

Specifically you want to remove any obstacle or option other than opting in. You want to give enough positive info to make the choice to opt-in, but not enough to let them know they're not interested. You want to remove the border around your opt-in box. You want to remove any unnecessary links.

Let them be curious, but don't satisfy their curiosity.

But here is the single biggest factor in creating a winning opt-in page:

SPLIT TEST

Use http://www.Google.com/websiteoptimizer/ to test variations on the page. Because squeeze pages have high conversion rates, the amount of traffic needed to test can be fairly low (compared to a sales page.) Test multiple headlines, multiple "proof" areas even multiple form designs.

For example we tested various colors of arrows until we found one that closed better than all the others. Ditto with headline colors.

Hope this helps.

Kevin [at] VirtualProfitCenter.com
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BrianMcLeod

14 years ago

Man... lots of really good advice in this thread.

Well done, fellas!

I'll just add this:

You... A Six-Figure Computer Consultant? Yes, You Can!

Before:

After:

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perryny 14 years ago

Originally Posted by BrianMcLeod

Man... lots of really good advice in this thread.

Well done, fellas!

I'll just add this:

Holy friggin crap. Honestly Brian... I don't know what to say.

Too much. Way, way too much.

Thank you.
-Rob
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- BrianMcLeod 14 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by perryny
  
  Holy friggin crap. Honestly Brian... I don't know what to say.
  
  Too much. Way, way too much.
  
  Thank you.
  -Rob
  
  Good things happen when you're brave enough to step up
  and ask for a critique and put your work on the hot seat.
  
  Particularly when you've clearly put effort into it.
  
  This thread caught me with perfect timing, Dreamweaver
  open, page layout cap on, working on similar stuff.
  
  Couldn't resist the chance to do the "simple tweaks make
  a big difference" dance.
  
  Now, test it and let's see how it does. ; )
  
  Best,
  
  Brian
  
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  Brian McLeod
  
  Direct Response Copywriting
  
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nelsonbiglar

14 years ago

Nice Squeezepage Conversion going on in this thread... I mean the converting the initial squeezepage into a much leaner and more niche specific...I especially love the before and after screencaptures.

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markpocock

14 years ago

Your prospect could be thinking

"Oh It's OK for him, this won't work for me"

In other words, the glass ceiling effect.

Takeway the "Highly Paid" and replace those words.

Also, is your headline really believable?
What proof can you offer?

cheers

Mark

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The Copy Nazi

Banned 14 years ago

Originally Posted by markpocock

Your prospect could be thinking

"Oh It's OK for him, this won't work for me"

In other words, the glass ceiling effect.

Takeway the "Highly Paid" and replace those words.

Also, is your headline really believable?
What proof can you offer?

cheers

Mark

So...explain the "glass ceiling effect". Sound impressive but I have no idea what you're trying to impress me with. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glass_ceiling

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markpocock 14 years ago

Hiya

The glass ceiling explained:

Some people belive they can earn $1 Million.

Some people belive they can only earn $30,000 max.
These people have put a glass ceiling
on their potential earnings.

Your copy needs to address both beliefs of
your prospects.

Or,

It's OK for him. He's smarter, cleverer, luckier
than me. It'll never work for me.

Mark
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RickDuris

14 years ago

Hi all,

If someone else can answer Rob's questions he posed to me on this thread, that would be great. I can not share and I PMed Rob yesterday regarding this.

But if someone else could clarify for him, I am sure he would be appreciative.

- Rick Duris

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NicholasCarter

14 years ago

Put a video up.....

I made a post in another thread that said the same......

Videos in the right context help increase conversions......

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Domenic Carlson

14 years ago

The site reeks of a sales pitch. You need to have a lot more finesse in the way you layout this page. I clicked the link and immediately hit the back button because this looks like every other site I see that hits you with a 'too good to be true' pitch, then assails you with pop-ups and doesn't let you leave. Re-think the design, because the first impression is a very bad one.

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M_Jones

14 years ago

Still needs work.

If I don't know what i'm getting for my email, in the first 5 seconds (which I didn't) then i'm not going to enter my email.... I had to search for the 'videos' to see what i was getting.

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designer2handbags

14 years ago

In a couple of days when I get over it, I'll get to work on implementing your suggestions. I usually wouldn't have the cojones to ask for someone's first-born, but I'm happy to split test it.

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wordwizard 14 years ago

It's working... I signed up immediately (couldn't resist that free product worth $500!) even though I'm not even a computer consultant (though I thought that maybe I learn something about how to sell copywriting more effectively or helping people with their blogs/websites etc.)

I did get the "after" version.

One thought i had though: it looks awfully "busy." See if you could add a bit more white space by making some of the print a bit smaller and see what difference that might make.

Elisabeth
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- perryny 14 years ago
  
  Hi all,
  
  I was going to let my split-tests run a while longer, but seeing as this thread has been getting so busy today, I figured I'd post some results.
  
  First, everyone needs to realize that both versions of this squeeze page were designed by two very, very respected members of this forum and I'm sure anyone who knows either of these copywriters would agree that I couldn't hope to find anyone more talented or capable.
  
  I've had the first version running since Nov. '09. It's been converting consistently at around 15-18%. In the past month, the numbers have dropped a bit, but so has the traffic, so maybe people aren't so anxious to start a new business (my product's focus) as the beach weather rolls in. Who knows...
  
  I've been quite happy with the performance of the original page, until I saw a couple of guys here talking about their squeeze pages converting at 60-80% or higher. That got me thinking that maybe I have some work to do... hence the reason for my OP.
  
  After I started this thread, I had the opportunity to talk a bit with the 80% guy, who explained that those conversion numbers are coming from targeted lists. Those potential customers are already "pre-sold" to an extent, so an opt-in with an email address is expected.
  
  My opt-ins are coming strictly from search traffic (poorly targeted I might add) and a bit of article marketing. So the numbers I'm getting (15-18%) probably aren't so bad.
  
  That said...
  
  I didn't bother split-testing against the original page, as I already know how that one performs.
  
  On the 17th, I put up two versions of Brian's newly designed page... the one he created, and one I modified with a bolder promise in the headline. I changed "...Reveals The Secrets To Banking $66,672 Per Year... Working Just 10 Hours A Week!" to "...Reveals The Secrets To Making $166,872 Per Year... Working Part-Time Hours!"
  
  Between the 17th and the 22nd, I got a total of 80 visitors (excluding any WF referrals or direct visitors) and received a total of 12 opt-ins (15%). 8 opt-ins for the original headline, and 4 opt-ins for my modified, bold-promise headline.
  
  So I took down the bold headline on Tuesday night and replaced the page with another modified version of Brian's that now asks for a first name along with the email address (Brian's asks only for an email address).
  
  Between yesterday and today, the page has gotten 29 visits and 4 opt-ins, two for each version (This doesn't include your opt-in, Elisabeth).
  
  All in all, I think I'm probably doing just fine. I don't think the page itself needs improvement as much as I believe I need to find a stronger, more targeted source of traffic. Once I accomplish this, I'll be in a much better position to do more revealing testing (and I'll throw Mal's suggestions and Kevin's designs into the mix).
  
  For now, I'm going to consider myself fortunate to have two excellently designed squeeze pages that I can drop off my list of things to worry about as I continue to work on this project.
  
  Thank you all so much for your help on this.
  
  Time to get back to copywriting.
  
  -Rob
  
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RentItNow

14 years ago

Im coming in late on this but you may want to test just getting rid of everything down to FREE VIDEO reveals...and reword that just a bit.

Page is fine otherwise.

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Can you help me with a poorly converting squeeze page?

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