18 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}
18 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}

Headline Opinions

by dem0x7
14 replies
Hey guys,

Just wanted to get some opinions on these 4 headlines I have for my squeeze page. I would like to split test two of them, so could use some help on which ones you like the most.

The squeeze page can be found here:
7 Secrets To Marketing Success - By Leon Rawitz

Headline options are:
  • Free Report Reveals 7 Marketing Secrets That Can Transform Your Business Success... Yet Most Companies Will Never Discover Them
  • Free Report Reveals 7 Marketing Secrets That You Can Use To Create The Business Success You've Always Dreamed Of... Yet Most Companies Will Never Discover Them
  • Free Report Reveals 7 Marketing Secrets That Will Transform Your Business... Yet Most Companies Will Never Discover Them
  • Free Report Reveals 7 Marketing Secrets To Dominate Your Market... Yet Most Companies Will Never Discover Them
  • Free Report Reveals 7 Marketing Secrets That You Can Use To Create Wealth and Financial Freedom... Yet Most Companies Will Never Discover Them

Thanks so much!
#headline #opinions
  • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
    Are you open to the idea of having other headlines which beat your list..?

    All the best,
    Ewen
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2399070].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author dem0x7
      Originally Posted by ewenmack View Post

      Are you open to the idea of having other headlines which beat your list..?

      All the best,
      Ewen
      Of course!
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2399115].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
        Originally Posted by dem0x7 View Post

        Of course!
        Cool, Ive signed up to your list to get the report to see what gems I can dig up for headlines, along with the reasons why.

        It's 1.55am here in the morning, so you'll have to wait till tomorrow for an update.

        All the best,
        Ewen

        P.S. What is your connection with Johnathan?
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2399270].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author dem0x7
          Originally Posted by ewenmack View Post

          Cool, Ive signed up to your list to get the report to see what gems I can dig up for headlines, along with the reasons why.

          It's 1.55am here in the morning, so you'll have to wait till tomorrow for an update.

          All the best,
          Ewen

          P.S. What is your connection with Johnathan?
          It's a place-holder, to see how it would look while I prepare the image/video showing how to activate. Do you follow his blog?

          I've sent you a PM.
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2399517].message }}
          • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
            Hey Leon...sent you a PM.

            Not for a while.

            Ewen


            Originally Posted by dem0x7 View Post

            It's a place-holder, to see how it would look while I prepare the image/video showing how to activate. Do you follow his blog?

            I've sent you a PM.
            {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2399667].message }}
            • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
              Hey Leon,

              Your email"s PDF isn't opening.

              Ewen
              {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2399759].message }}
              • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
                O.K. Leon...here it is...

                For getting a good hearing from business people, you need to use lot's of research data that
                hits them hard with pain points.

                From there you write your report, we will give it a better sounding name, and keep hitting home the different data which is clearly showing the reasons why businesses are being wiped out...the stats which show it's speeding up at an alarming rate.

                You leave what you have to offer till the last paragraph.

                Your headline flows from that urgent, compelling message.

                To see examples, and a master at crafting these dangerously effective pieces,
                go to http://www.empireresearchgroup.com/w...core-story.php

                All the best,
                Ewen
                {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2399909].message }}
                • Profile picture of the author writeandreview
                  You'll probably get a lot of sales copy advice, so I won't go there. Instead, here are a few small tips for tightening up the writing. Eliminating the grayed out words will help readability and make your statements more powerful:

                  1) Avoid the single biggest marketing mistake that’s responsible for the failure of 9 out of 10 small businesses

                  2) Gain an unfair advantage over your competition by creating -- create a first impression that virtually eliminates everyone else from consideration

                  3) Fill your marketing funnel with the most powerful and yet, economical marketing method of all


                  I'd change bullet 2 in this way:

                  Gain an unfair advantage ... Create a first impression that will eliminate the competition

                  In the third bullet it says that you will fill a marketing funnel with a marketing method. I don't think that's logically possible. What you really mean is they will fill a funnel by using your method.

                  You've also used the word marketing too many times in the same sentence for my taste. Not sure what you should change here though since marketing funnel is accurate. You could try sales funnel or sales pipeline, but those are different than a marketing funnel.

                  I'd use the power of 3 in the last bullet -- the most powerful, the most economical and the most under utilized marketing method ...

                  Last thing, the bullets seem kind of cookie cutter. Almost like you pulled them from different templates. Think about ways you can support the theme of the headline, i.e. marketing secrets that businesses won't discover, in your bullets. The first bullet does it, the second and third bullets don't.

                  - Matt Lashley
                  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2401316].message }}
                  • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
                    Hey Leon,

                    There is one test to use to see which headline will get the highest response.

                    This test can be used before spending any money.

                    It comes from the man with a track record of winning more... against the best in the biz.

                    Of course I'm talking about Gary Bencivenga.

                    He would ask, "which headline has the most compelling proof?"

                    And, "which headline would be of the most interest?"

                    Those two tests will alLways give you the right pick for a higher response...Plus it cost you nothing to get...Plus you get to use it for the rest of your advertising life!

                    Is that cool...or is that COOL?

                    Coming up in the next post, is one of the most powerfull ways to get your report opened...AND acted upon.

                    All the best,
                    Ewen
                    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2403182].message }}
                    • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
                      The headline to get your report opened more, is based on what interests him the most, and the biggest threat to what interests him the most.

                      In your case it's a business owner.

                      As a business owner we can say with a certain degree of certainty that it's his business that provides for the security of his family.

                      Next we can say with a degree of certainty if his business is under threat, his whole family comes into the equation.

                      Even more interest to the reader.

                      So back to the first point...talk about his business and the threat it's under.

                      Undevided attention you think..?

                      O.K. For this we would name the business type and location...EXAMPLE

                      "To All Spa Shop Owners In Michigan...Which One of these 7 Threats Will Hit You The Hardest?"

                      The reader first of all knows that it's for him, because it names his type and location of business.

                      Next, the strucure of the sentence gets the reader asking "which one?" and "how hard?" of those threats...NOT MAYBE.

                      THREATS and PAIN, especially in tough economic times, tend to get readers attention more than OPPORTUNITY and GAIN.

                      This headline structure comes from the question, "what interests my target reader the most?". Gary Bencivenga would run all his headlines through this telling test.

                      Yes, there are great reasons why some headlines last 40 years unchanged...while others die a painfull death on arrival.

                      Once again, this is a timeless principal which will never die or fade while human nature stays the same...like it has for the last two thousand plus years.

                      Keep this one locked away ready for your use when creating another blockbuster advertising piece.

                      All the best,
                      Ewen
                      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2403300].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Kim Davis
    how about getting rid of the words... that can, that will etc...

    Free Report Reveals 7 Marketing Secrets -

    Transform Your Business Success
    Create Your Dream Business
    Transform Your Business
    Dominate Your Market
    Create Wealth and Financial Freedom
    Your Competitors Don't Know
    Signature
    Spinner-Ready Article - 100's of 95% Unique Average Articles – [Weight Loss Niche]

    Affiliate Marketing Jump Start Here

    Hire A Ghostwriter - eBooks - Rewrites - Articles
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2399083].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Bill Jeffels
    " Free Report Reveals The 7 Biggest Marketing Secrets That Will Instantly
    Transform Your Business Into A Success "


    Here's The mistakes that most
    Companies make that will give you an
    Edge Over Your Competition



    .
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2399258].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
    Hey Leon,

    I signed up to get the report and it hasn't come through after 2 attempts.

    Have you got one for me to look at, so I can dig up some gems for headlines?

    All the best,
    Ewen
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2399391].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Kevin-VirtualProfitCenter
    What limited, specific change will opting in make in the life of your prospect? When you can tell them that--they'll give you their email address.

    Promise it. Prove it. Pitch it.

    EXAMPLE...

    Promise:

    "How to DOUBLE Your Profits from Direct Sales in the Next 60 Days"

    Proof:

    Testimonials with face pics, rotating in a gif where your bullet points are now

    Pitch:

    Email Blank, button with CLICK HERE NOW TO DISCOVER HOW

    Now, your promise might need to be a little different since I don't know what your download can actually accomplish for your subs. Your proof might need to be different too--a mini-bio showing Leon's credentials, an earnings chart from a client, etc.

    But the bottom line is this: Without a specific, limited promise you are never going to have a compelling squeeze page. Without proving you can deliver on that promise you are never going to have a compelling squeeze page.

    Right now you are promising to "transform" their business--what the fudge does "transform" mean? Nobody knows. It's a weasely word. Get specific.

    I guarantee you if you will split test your transform headline against ANY specific promise with proof, the promise will win.
    Signature
    The Miracle Squeeze Page: Scientifically Proven to Convert 84.1% of Visitors into Subscribers

    Works for Anybody, Any niche - It's so simple you'll wonder why everyone isn't using it
    Click Here Now to Download It!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2403447].message }}

Trending Topics