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Sales copy feedback

by eloshy
8 replies
Hello All,

I had some of my sales copy outsourced and wanted to get your thoughts on how it is. I know testing will be the end result, But I wanted to see if it made sense to some outsiders.

http ://bit.ly/azkI4t

there is a space after http, take the space out. I am not able to post links yet.



Thanks
#copy #feedback #sales
  • Profile picture of the author Ross Bowring
    So I take it you've read Vin Montello's "Montello Marketing" website? Especially the first bit right after the salutation.

    --- Ross
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  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
    For outsourcing, did you really mean copy-and-pasting?

    I think you're going to have to come back with something of your own before anyone here will look at it.
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    Andrew Gould

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    • Profile picture of the author eloshy
      WOW! Actually the first part is what I had hired someone from warrior forums put together for me. Thanks for showing me that, so I can take that back to them.

      Pretty disappointed in seeing that opening is taken pretty much word for word.
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  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
    While you're shouting at your writer, make sure you also point out the headline doesn't make sense.

    And if you hired them from a WSO or the Warriors For Hire section go and post in the thread what they did to prevent anyone else being suckered in by them. Quality copy is not cheap and it's a pity you had to find out the hard way.
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    Andrew Gould

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  • Profile picture of the author Rezbi
    I wondered why that looked familiar.

    That is really taking the mick. Especially when done by someone on this forum.

    I think this following part, ironically, from Vin's site, says it all. If only he'd read further down.

    You hired a freelance copywriter, assuming they were all created equal. Or you hired the cheapest copywriter you could find.

    Well... where did it get you? What was your return on investment with that guy?

    What's worse is your attempt to save money cost you a fortune in worthless copy and lost sales.

    Now you know better. You know you need a high response copywriter that delivers more than just the same old same old.
    And, from the OP's site:

    The internet is littered with men and women who have taken some flimsy e-course and now call themselves professionals.
    Hmmm.
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    • Profile picture of the author eloshy
      That's why I brought it here for review. Thanks for the input so far.
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      • Profile picture of the author Rezbi
        Originally Posted by eloshy View Post

        That's why I brought it here for review. Thanks for the input so far.
        My point wasn't to have a go at you, but to point these facts out to the person who 'wrote' your copy.
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