Practice sales letter ( pointers and suggestions welcomed)

by WRI
5 replies
What it takes to Win BIG in Internet Marketing.

It does not matter whether your a novice or a seasoned veteran, all journeys begin with a single step. Internet marketing is no exception. Ask any really successful marketer and they will all tell you the same thing.

They were a novice at one time...

(select list of supper affiliates)

It did not stop these super achievers .... will you let it stop you?

Before you answer that question ask yourself these IMPORTANT questions, your success is based on your honest answers.

..... ARE YOU LOOKING FOR EASY MONEY.....

If you answered yes stop right now, THIS BUSINESS is not for you. This is not get rich quick scheme.

..... ARE YOU SICK AND TIRED OF WORKING FOR SOMEONE ELSE......

If you answered YES you may be on the right track


...... ARE YOU SELF MOTIVATED.....

YOU will be YOUR OWN boss


...... ARE YOU WILLING TO INVEST IN YOUR OWN FUTURE.......

THIS BUSINESS requires some time as well as capitol investments

........ ARE YOU WILLING LEARN FROM OTHERS.....

Applying action to these guidelines will help you duplicate their SUCCESS

Imagine freedom from debt,
more time with your family and a higher quality of living, who would not want that?

( show visuals)

(OPT in link)


All this and more can be YOURS, if you are willing to do willing to do what it takes.

This guide will show you step by step how to

...... Search for and find the secrets of the MARKETING MASTERS
...

.... Apply those secrets in ways that GROW YOUR BUSINESS....

....... GAIN valuable information for building you own web page...


...... GENERATE MULTIPLE streams of income....

...... FOOL PROOF ways to optimize your advertising....

.... Set up a business account and get a tax ID.....

...... Take advantage of income tax deductions .....

Take it from the experts, These are things you must know.

(expert testimonials)

(bonus offers)

(OPT in link)

OK, so your asking what is really in it for me.

Let me ask you this what do you have to lose.

A boss you hate

Punching a time clock

Endless debt

Minimal free time

In all honesty only you can decide that. I can't guarantee your success. But I can promise you this.

(refund policy)

So what are you waiting for act now and take the first step towards your dreams.

(opt in link)

(Disclaimers) (copy writes)

Web link (HTTP/www.what ever ECT ...)
Side note, if you read this and are a seasoned marketer please leave a comment.

I approached this from my view point as a novice and tried to use that as a reference point to a possible niche. I would love any constructive criticism or pointers you may have that will help me develop as an aspiring marketer.

Thanks in advance,

WRI (Wes)
#business #letter #masters #novice #pointers #practice #sales #succcess #suggestions #welcomed #win
  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    A couple of quick points: It reads a lot more like an article than a sales page. You've also got the record for overusing (as well as incorrect use) of the ellipsis (...).
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    • Profile picture of the author SeanLandon
      Hi Wes,

      It does read more like an article but it is an outline you can start with.

      I would suggest a stronger headline as well as a better intro.

      Flesh it out a bit more and then it will be easier to give you some suggestions.

      I am not sure about telling them they will have to work and spend money......people want it easy and the money to flow in without them doing anything (except watching tv and eating pizza!).

      Though that depends on what you are selling, and how much it is...but make sure you've built the desire for your product first so that price is not an objection.

      I'd also suggest some bullets from the actual product...

      sean
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      • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
        1. Details matter. (Didn't Claude say something like "generalities are like water rolling off a ducks back?")

        2. In reading your piece I get an indication you've stitched it together from other things you've seen. It's VERY disjointed.

        3. Let you ask you an honest question: Would you yourself buy what you were selling? Would you trust this person? Do you find him honest and believable?

        4. Based upon the copy you've presented, I almost get "banner blindness." Personally I've seen all this, so many times before--and it's not even the best stuff.

        I know the feedback isn't necessarily what you want to here. But I really think you can do better.

        And I appreciate your desire to make a go of it and improve.

        - Rick Duris
        Signature
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        • Profile picture of the author straygoat
          It reads like a template for a sales letter to me - like someone trying to follow a set of rules. I know these types of letters are popular in the US and I am in a different part of the world, but if I received a letter like this, I wouldn't read beyond the first paragraph - it is just too similar to a million other 'too good to be true' letters. It might just be me, but I actually prefer a more personalised style of letter, where the sell is softer.

          Also, in the opening, 'your' should be you're.
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      • Profile picture of the author WRI
        Thank you all for your feedback,

        Constructive criticism is what I was looking for. Your pointers are putting me on the right track.

        Being my first attempt to write copy I was sure it would be very flawed.

        I am not promoting an actual product, I am far from ready to do that. This post was just an exercise in writing.

        Thanks for taking the time to reply, you have been very helpful.

        Wes
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