My First Spec Print Ad - Please Critique :)

3 replies
Hello all,

I've just completed my very first print ad. I read the critique guideline post and I think my ad falls in line with those criteria. I just want to know what you folks think about the selling power of my ad.

I initially took a terrible-looking half-page ad with features and benefits chaotically strewn about and re-wrote it in my vision. I wrote this ad to be a vertical half-page ad.

Please let me know what you think. Thank you.

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Abbot Industries Awning Ad

HEADLINE: Homeowner: Want To Control The Weather On Your Deck Or Patio?

VISUAL: Homeowners and guests sitting comfortably in patio under awning's shaded cover.

COPY: An Abbot Industries awning does just that. It's shade at your finger tips...

SUBHEAD: You Determine How Much Sunlight Your Home Gets

COPY: A nice deck or patio can be ruined by unwelcomed sunlight coming in at all kinds of odd angles. And not to mention the sluggish heat the sun creates as it fries your areas of relaxation. This means you're not getting the most out of your deck or patio. Fortunately, our awnings can fix this by shielding protected areas from unwelcomed sunlight; this shielding reduces temperatures in covered areas, as testing shows, by up to 20 degrees. This creates a cooler environment. A more relaxing and safer environment for friends and family--which is what you want from your deck or patio.

SUBHEAD: Protect Your Investment--Your Home--From Sun Damage

COPY: Direct sunlight can create stagnant heat, which not only puts you in a muggy mood, but can also damage your home by fading your drapes and carpet and even warping your floorboard. This damage is expensive and ugly, and completely avoidable with the help of an awning--a durable fabric covering that protects unshielded areas of your home from sun damage. Drive down your AC costs, too, by providing your windowed areas natural shade!

SUBHEAD: Beautify Your Deck or Patio; Friends And Family Will Enjoy The Café Ambiance.

COPY: If people flock to a cool spot on a warm sunny day, then you might as well make it your deck or patio. Treat your deck or patio like the gathering place it is. That means dressing it up like one to create that sidewalk café atmosphere for friends and family to enjoy. Our awnings come in a variety of colors and are custom-made to look beautiful--adding color, fabric, and shape to all windowed areas of your home.

SUBHEAD: Quality Awnings That Fit Your Needs

COPY: We offer retractable awnings--manual or electric--to fit your climate needs. Extend it when it's bright, or retract it when you want a little light. Or if you seek permanence, a fixed awning will give you year-round shade. Our awnings are 100% acrylic fabric, custom-made from our factory for your home. Automatic sensors, remote control, and sun screens are also all options at your disposal.

COPY: To learn more CALL:

Abbot Industries
800-977-4233
800-97SHADE

If you call now you'll get a FREE ESTIMATE on your awning and a COUPON to use for your purchase, included below.

COUPON: FREE SALES TAX for any purchase, FREE INSTALLATION for any purchase up to $300. Abbot Awnings 800-977-4233.












#critique #print #spec
  • I'd also appreciate commentary on the writing itself. Thanks!
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  • Profile picture of the author colinjoss
    Hey there,

    I think you headline misses the mark and people will skip the ad.

    People don't lie awake thinking 'If only I could control the weather on my deck.'

    If they do lie awake they're thinking 'I paid all that money to build a deck but it's too damn hot to use most of the time.'

    Go with someone along those lines.

    Colin
    Signature

    "You're exactly the kind of professional any business owner would be lucky to have writing his copy."

    John Carlton, the most ripped off, respected, and referred-to copywriter alive.

    Colin Joss, Direct Response Copywriter

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  • Profile picture of the author Loren Woirhaye
    Get "Ogilvy on Advertising" by David Ogilvy and read it.

    Also appropriate for this style of ad is
    "On The Art of Writing Copy" by Herschell Gordon Lewis

    The appeal of your headline is weak. It will be a waste of money
    to run your ad with such and appeal.

    The resources I just cited will help you lots with this copy.
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