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Believable?

by Alex Cohen
12 replies
So what do you think ... is this headline believable? Effective?

"An Impassioned Plea To Avoid Missing The Biggest Opportunity Of Your Life"

The blog post that follows it is a pitch for a $1,997 product here (not an affiliate link) ...

An Impassioned Plea To Avoid Missing The Biggest Opportunity Of Your Life | The Official Blog of John Carlton

Alex
#believable
  • Profile picture of the author Hugh Thyer
    The fact it's on John Carlton's site is what makes it believable.
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    • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
      Originally Posted by Hugh Thyer View Post

      The fact it's on John Carlton's site is what makes it believable.
      If that's true, then his pitch is designed only for folks who already know and trust him.

      The "The Biggest Opportunity Of Your Life" claim worked well back in the day when using "Amazing" in a headline worked. In the current day, the phrase comes across as hyperbole.

      Alex
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  • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
    Originally Posted by Alex Cohen View Post

    So what do you think ... is this headline believable? Effective?

    Alex
    Yes believable coming from John...coming from many others, questionable.

    Yes effective.

    All the best,
    Ewen
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    • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
      Geez Hugh, I was going to be the first to reply
      then looked up after I submitted and you come
      out saying the same thing....

      ...before me!

      Great minds think a like.

      All the best,
      Ewen
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      • Profile picture of the author Scott Saylor
        Banned
        [DELETED]
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        • Profile picture of the author Hagbard Jones
          Don't confuse a sales *pitch* with a sales *page*.

          A blog header isn't being pitched to cold traffic. It's being pitched to people with whom the writer already has a rapport.

          But beyond that, the writer only WANTS readers who already trust him, and who are inclined to find an "impassioned plea" believable to take action.

          If I understand the pitch correctly (and I admit I only skimmed it and the linked sales letter), this is for a mentoring course that is time-sensitive, limited in enrollment, and very expensive.

          The writer, under those circumstances, would absolutely want to limit takers to those VERY unlikely to take him up on the promised satisfaction-refund. The time, the enrollment limit, and the cost of backing out all make refunds for such a product more costly than with your average infoproduct/ebook.

          So, do I think it's believable? Probably to some. Do I think it's compelling? Probably to a few. Do I think it's effective? I think it'll be about as effective as it was designed to be.

          I don't know what kind of number he set the enrollment at, but I'd imagine the initial marketing push came up just a *little bit* short of hopes, and this very modest but perfectly sincere follow up is an attempt to garner just a couple more positive responses from those who've already been exposed to the sales material once, but are hemming and hawing for whatever reason.
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  • Profile picture of the author Vincenzo Oliva
    Superlatives = hype who says this is the "biggest opportunity of my life?" how do you know? Why the plea? Seems like a desperate pitch...Why do you care?
    What do you have?

    Come on, I sat through hours of John Carlton's Sales page critiques he would rip this apart. He did NOT write that for sure.
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  • Profile picture of the author harryc
    I agree it looks trashy unless coming from a trusted source. And the trusted source better deliver or he won't be trusted for long.
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  • Profile picture of the author Loren Woirhaye
    I have a hard time believing the biggest opportunity of my life will
    involve purchasing an info-product on the internet.

    ... but maybe I'm a bit too literal. I don't really go for the "this
    is the most important letter you've ever read" sort of approach. Like
    Alex, I think it may have seems less cliche years ago, but these
    days such hyperbole gives me the creeps.
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    • Profile picture of the author gjabiz
      Originally Posted by Loren Woirhaye View Post

      I have a hard time believing the biggest opportunity of my life will
      involve purchasing an info-product on the internet.

      ... but maybe I'm a bit too literal. I don't really go for the "this
      is the most important letter you've ever read" sort of approach. Like
      Alex, I think it may have seems less cliche years ago, but these
      days such hyperbole gives me the creeps.
      Ah, thanks Loren. I'm reminded of what one of my mentors once told me about mailorder.

      "The once in a lifetime opportunity comes around every day mail is delivered."

      Saved me a ton of money too.

      Biggest opportunity? Well, isn't that personal?

      I remember a very cute, tall, and extremly heavy blonde beauty...but, I was timid, scared and afraid my waterbed would spring a leak, so I passed up what was the BIGGEST OPPORTUNITY of my life.

      But, to each his own.

      gjabiz

      PS. Since I no longer sleep on a waterbed, I'm much more open to the big opportunities that pop up. Hell, at this stage, I'm open to any and all opportunities...and they come around every day in my email spam folder. Maybe I better WhiteList a few of those?
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    • Profile picture of the author MikeHumphreys
      Alex,

      Good question.

      It depends on whether you're part of their target market or not.

      If you're a veteran copywriter who's read thousands of headlines (both good and bad ones), it's not going to move you.

      If you're an aspiring copywriter or marketer who wants to learn how to write their own copy, then it might move you. Even then, it only needs to move you enough to go to the SWS salesletter where the real sales attempt can be made.

      Personally, sometimes I like taking John's blog posts apart and breaking them down to figure out the salesmanship tactics and techniques being used... the sequence used... and how he chooses to close.

      Mike
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  • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
    Personally, sometimes I like taking John's blog posts apart and breaking them down to figure out the salesmanship tactics and techniques being used... the sequence used... and how he chooses to close.Mike
    Yes, a very good idea.

    Also, study the way he uses words to bring copy "alive" and invoke mental imagery.

    Alex
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  • Profile picture of the author JasonParker
    I'm having the same thoughts as Mike here...

    And actually... I think the headline sort of comes from the same place as that Halbert opener... "If _________, then this will be the most important message you will ever read."
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