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Looking for a good copywriter to improve/rewrite this salesletter.

by bertuseng
17 replies
I finished writing a salespage for my new membership site but frankly its terrible and I need someone to spruce it up a bit for better conversions. All the information and benefits and features etc are already there. I just need a good experienced copywriter to reword and use all your magic powers to make it sparkle.

Could someone point me in the right direction for someone who could do this for a fair price? As this is only a limited spot membership my budget for the salespage is not very high, thats why i started off by writing it myself.

Any advice or recommendations would be very appreciated. thanks.

oh yes. here is the link to the salespage so far. (it is not live yet)

Weekly Spin Ready Articles
#copywriter #good #improve or rewrite #salesletter
  • Profile picture of the author copycashvalve
    I just skimmed over it, it's a breath of fresh air to the copywriters on this forum but still needs a lot of work.

    This caught my attention:

    $39.95 Initial charge and then you will be billed $39.95 once a month until you decide to end your membership.

    I would make this a guarantee of some sort instead of a means to an end.

    If after the first month, you're not getting surges of internet traffic from your drip fed article submissions, I demand you contact me immediately so we can review your account against my golden guarantee.
    something like that.

    hope it helps
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    • Profile picture of the author arfasaira
      Please could you tell us what your budget is?
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    • Profile picture of the author HotDamnShortSales
      great advice, thats why i love it it here

      Originally Posted by copycashvalve View Post

      I just skimmed over it, it's a breath of fresh air to the copywriters on this forum but still needs a lot of work.

      This caught my attention:

      $39.95 Initial charge and then you will be billed $39.95 once a month until you decide to end your membership.

      I would make this a guarantee of some sort instead of a means to an end.

      If after the first month, you're not getting surges of internet traffic from your drip fed article submissions, I demand you contact me immediately so we can review your account against my golden guarantee.
      something like that.

      hope it helps
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  • Profile picture of the author kingofseo
    Banned
    [DELETED]
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  • Profile picture of the author Hank Rearden
    I just don't get it. Which means it's not real clear.

    Gl.

    - HR
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  • Profile picture of the author bertuseng
    Should I take the benefits and problems of submitting articles (first part of letter) away and just focus on the spin_ready articles that I am offering? My budget would be under $100.
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  • Profile picture of the author Hank Rearden
    For $100, you're kinda running it dry.

    I didn't understand what was for sale.

    Or what spinnable things are.

    Like pinwheels?

    - HR
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    • Profile picture of the author ARSuarez
      Originally Posted by Hank Rearden View Post

      For $100, you're kinda running it dry.

      I didn't understand what was for sale.

      Or what spinnable things are.

      Like pinwheels?

      - HR
      I had the same problem.

      What is 'spinning'? What kind of traffic are you driving here?

      Because if you're driving people who have no idea what a 'spin article' is, they're going to do this:

      "Spinnable articles? WTF is this all about? No thanks."

      Why?

      Because they read the first paragraph or two, and still don't get a quick idea of your subject. Then, they leave.

      I think you really need to work on clarity.

      For example: if you're selling something to a complete newbie in copywriting, you're going to speak differently then when speaking to someone who has been around the block.

      Best,

      Angel
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  • Profile picture of the author Hank Rearden
    ^^ Agreed. And also...

    The reason I said I was confused, and don't know what spinning is, is simple: When you're forced to explain your promise to a total stranger... someone who has no education in your market... you're forced to break it down to the very basics.

    And often, there are hidden benefits in these basics. Often a unique promise springs out of simply breaking down your complex tech speak into English, the way normal people speak it.

    And a unique promise can always be rephrased for your market's tender little ears.

    - HR
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    I swear by my life and my love of it that I will
    never live for the sake of another man, nor ask
    another man to live for mine.
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  • Profile picture of the author Scott Murdaugh
    If it's converting at 4% (as it says on your affiliate page) just run with it.

    That's a lot better than anything you'll get for $100.

    I just need a good experienced copywriter...
    My budget would be under $100.
    You won't find an experienced copywriter for $100. But if it's converting as you say it is and you only need to book 50 spots, you shouldn't worry about it.

    -Scott
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    • Profile picture of the author Irish Intuition
      Originally Posted by Scott Murdaugh View Post

      If it's converting at 4% (as it says on your affiliate page) just run with it.

      That's a lot better than anything you'll get for $100.

      You won't find an experienced copywriter for $100. But if it's converting as you say it is and you only need to book 50 spots, you shouldn't worry about it.

      -Scott
      Ditto

      If you are getting these numbers as is, just tweak it. You will not get
      this much better with a "I'll do this cheaper than anyone" writer.

      In fact you may get worse results
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  • Profile picture of the author bertuseng
    Thanks for all the advice. I will see if i can make the first bit clearer, but my market is not complete newbies so hopefully my target market will get it. I am also thinking of acceting up to 100 people to get molre affiliates.
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    • Profile picture of the author copycashvalve
      Originally Posted by bertuseng View Post

      Thanks for all the advice. I will see if i can make the first bit clearer, but my market is not complete newbies so hopefully my target market will get it. I am also thinking of acceting up to 100 people to get molre affiliates.
      Don't worry so much about the first part, yes do work on it but just remember who your targeting. I know what spin syntax looks like because I would fit in your target audience, not everybody and their mother is going to know what spin syntax is and that's ok because they probably wouldn't be using it any time soon anyways. It's more important that you position yourself in front of your target prospects more than trying to educate them through your copy.

      That's what I would think anyways, but take this with a grain of salt as I am just getting my feet off the ground as a copywriter.
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    For someone who knows how to generate "boat loads of traffic", and has a ton of "how to make money on the internet" products, I would have figured your budget would be higher.

    Maybe your biggest problem here is a lack of proof/credibility.

    -Dan

    P.S. If it's converting at 4%... and you know how to drive boat loads of traffic... and you're selling it for $40/month...

    ...why can you only afford $100?

    Methinks something is fishy in these here waters.
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    • Profile picture of the author Irish Intuition
      Originally Posted by Daniel Scott View Post

      P.S. If it's converting at 4%... and you know how to drive boat loads of traffic... and you're selling it for $40/month...

      ...why can you only afford $100?

      Methinks something is fishy in these here waters.
      Dan, I thinks you may be onto something
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    • Profile picture of the author bertuseng
      Originally Posted by Daniel Scott View Post

      For someone who knows how to generate "boat loads of traffic", and has a ton of "how to make money on the internet" products, I would have figured your budget would be higher.

      Maybe your biggest problem here is a lack of proof/credibility.

      -Dan

      P.S. If it's converting at 4%... and you know how to drive boat loads of traffic... and you're selling it for $40/month...

      ...why can you only afford $100?

      Methinks something is fishy in these here waters.
      Dan i understand your sceptism but the 4 percent is what I got testing it to a small portion of my highly targeted list so I wont get an accurate figure before I launch this as a WSO. That paired with the fact that I am only accepting less that 100 members make this impossible for me to pay thousands for sales copy. As with the nature of this specific product I have a lot of monthly costs as well.
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      • Profile picture of the author Irish Intuition
        Originally Posted by bertuseng View Post

        Dan i understand your sceptism but the 4 percent is what I got testing it to a small portion of my highly targeted list so I wont get an accurate figure before I launch this as a WSO. That paired with the fact that I am only accepting less that 100 members make this impossible for me to pay thousands for sales copy. As with the nature of this specific product I have a lot of monthly costs as well.
        I get what you're saying but you skipped from a $100 to 'thousands'.

        The numbers seem to be worthy of at least a few hundred bucks. If you
        are diligent in researching you could find a decent writer for a 'deal'.

        You'll find nothing at $100. How many times are you willing to throw away
        $100?

        Unless I'm mistaken don't you perennially post on here looking for ultra
        cheap copywriters? Perhaps a change of strategy is in order.

        Just sayin
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        • Profile picture of the author bertuseng
          Originally Posted by IM Viper View Post

          I get what you're saying but you skipped from a $100 to 'thousands'.

          The numbers seem to be worthy of at least a few hundred bucks. If you
          are diligent in researching you could find a decent writer for a 'deal'.

          You'll find nothing at $100. How many times are you willing to throw away
          $100?

          Unless I'm mistaken don't you perennially post on here looking for ultra
          cheap copywriters? Perhaps a change of strategy is in order.

          Just sayin
          You are quite right. It seems that in order to get a much better salesletter I would need to fork out a bit more. I decided I am going to revise it a bit myself and then just launch it as it is. Then I will consider getting a rewrite or a sales video later if I cant fill up all my spots.

          Thanks for all the advice everyone. If anybody wants to give some specific tips on how I can improve it, it will be much appreciated.
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