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My sales page needs your opinion.

by Pisaka
3 replies
Frankly speaking, this is my first sales page and I don't know whether it sounds OK. I can assume here are tons of mistakes, but I did my best to write this. I'm perfect translator and have in plans to collect my own team of translators. But on this stage I want to sell just my work translating only into Russian (I also don't know how to add this information into the sales page).

******

Unique Sales Proposition
· Do you have qualitative articles which bring you high income?
· Do you want these articles to bring more money?
· Do you want to receive more money using reliable and effective Keywords?
Then, discover the Secret for Making Money Using Tried-and-True Keywords.
Our young and full of energy team with exceptional translating abilities can offer you smart and unique solution for the question that disturbs everybody:
“Is there a way to earn more money and lead happier life without applying much effort?”
Yes! And this way is rather simple!
Revive your articles in another language, give them chance to bring you income on the basis of perfectly established keywords. Just sit back and evaluate the results which bring you qualitative human translation free of any kind of errors: stylistic, lexical and grammar.

Limited Number of Discounted Price Articles Available.
· First 2 400-word articles you receive for free!
· First 3 packs of 10 articles for the price of 6 articles!
· First 3 packs of 5 articles will give you an opportunity to translate 1 article free of charge!
· Searching of Effective Keywords on English and Russian for the first 7 persons!
Whether you need technical or fiction translation we are ready to help you.
High quality of manual translation is guaranteed. Your translated articles will reserve the initial sense, the meaning will be kept with utmost care.
1 article – 3$
2 articles – 6$
3 articles – 9$
4 articles – 12$
5 articles – 15$
6 articles – 18$
7 articles – 21$
8 articles – 24$
9 articles – 27$
10 articles – 30$
Only now we suggest you Special Offer: 3$ per 400 word article.
Make you business grow and bloom!


Thanks a lot for your time and efforts to advice something. ))
#opinion #page #sales
  • Profile picture of the author copycashvalve
    Right away your audience is left a little unclear at what your product is, you need to come clear right off the bat with it.

    Here is a different opener.

    For a limited time only I raise you a Unique Sales Position that transformed a client of ours from a groupie less garage band to rock-star status overnight by our Article creation wiz team...

    That's just an idea, I wouldn't use it but I just wanted to put emphasis to grab your reader by the eyeballs and give them something captivating of who you are and what you do right off the bat. I could write more but i'm still caught up in other things, PM if you really want to talk more.
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  • Profile picture of the author Hank Rearden
    ^^ I like the first sentence of his post.

    As for your actual letter, I think the execution of it is cool. Especially for a first try at this stuff, in another friggin' language.

    Pat yourself on the back.

    Problem is, I think you're missing the mark on the promise. So many people promise more money, and get rich using keywords... it just rolls off your prospect like water off a duck's back.

    Instead, focus on what you're really doing, uniquely: Opening up a whole new market for your same, tried and true articles.

    Something like: Here's how to make twice as much money tomorrow as you did today, and have twice as many qualified prospects see YOUR sales materials than your competitors.

    It's sloppy, but you get the drift.

    You're offering to open up whole other languages, whole other countries, MILLIONS and MILLIONS of additional eyeballs NONE of the competitors can even touch.

    (And millions of super CHEAP views not one in one million USA marketers can buy)

    So focus on that. It's unique and it kicks ass.

    Best of luck, you deserve it.

    - HR
    Signature
    I swear by my life and my love of it that I will
    never live for the sake of another man, nor ask
    another man to live for mine.
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  • Profile picture of the author Pisaka
    Thanks a lot for sharing this information, I'll take everything into account!
    Signature

    Write articles on any topic in Russian/Ukrainian, make translations from English into Russian/Ukrainian.
    High quality of my work is guaranted.
    PM if you are interested.

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