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Copy Opinions

by ciajim
4 replies
I need to punch up the copy on my home page. I sell resumes to nurses and they take this very seriously, so I don't want to be too in-your-face.
Existing and proposed copy is below, and I'd love some opinions.

Existing Copy....
Choose The Experts In Nursing Resume Writing!

Our advisors and staff, consisting of RN's, Medical HR Directors, Nurse Recruiters and Professional Resume Writers is uniquely qualified to give you an advantage over everyone else.

We are intimately familiar with all the various nursing specialties and the unique challenges you face, on and off the job, every day.

Talents, abilities and qualifications that you may take for granted will be uncovered and highlighted to land your resume front and center.

Nursing and medical resumes created by writers with knowledge and experience in the medical field will give you a strong advantage over other candidates. You are not just another face in the crowd, so don't settle for a cookie cutter resume.

At Nursing Resume Pros we want you to be able to speak directly with your writer. In fact, in most cases, we insist on it. We will set up a consultation with your writer soon after we review your initial questionnaire. Since our writers have specific experience in writing Medical Resumes we will be able to ask questions that will uncover hidden or overlooked talents and abilities, and showcase those abilities in ways others just don't understand.

Proposed Copy....
15 Seconds! That's How Long It Takes for Your Resume to Succeed or Crash

You need a resume that will impress from the first glance. When we write your nursing resume you will get the interview. Guaranteed!

We don't use templates and we don't use offshore writers. Our nursing resumes are written one at a time by a writer with whom you will have one-on-one contact.

The process is very simple. Turnaround times are quick. And our nursing resumes get results! Guaranteed!
#copy #opinions
  • Profile picture of the author xcznmx21
    "You need a resume that will impress from the first glance. When we write your nursing resume you will get the interview. Guaranteed!" I agree with it very much .I also think it's the most important !
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  • Profile picture of the author littlekid
    "15 Seconds! That’s How Long It Takes for Your Resume to Succeed or Crash"
    like it... this is very creative and fast action required and normally the visitor will take action fast.. great home page..
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  • Profile picture of the author Frodr
    I like the proposed copy as well... its a little more interesting and engaging. i would recommend you include this line

    "Our advisors and staff, consisting of RN's, Medical HR Directors, Nurse Recruiters and Professional Resume Writers is uniquely qualified to give you an advantage over everyone else."

    It would probably fit in well right under this line:

    "We don’t use templates and we don’t use offshore writers. Our nursing resumes are written one at a time by a writer with whom you will have one-on-one contact."

    I think adding that extra line into the new copy would add an element of authority and credibility to the proposed version of your copy. It positions your staff as experts in the field. Authority sells.
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