Please critique my sales page copy...

Hi Stephanie,

How are your visitors to your page finding you?

Different approaches will be needed depending on your answer.

All the best,
Ewen

Hi Stephanie.

I like the middle part of the page with red headlines - it feels readable and easy to navigate.

But I'm a bit turned off if the main headline goes along the line of "This is my product, and it does this and this", with little reference to the reader. You are proud of your work, but the cold fact is - very, very few people are interested in you. Starting your pitch by telling me the special report is yours doesn't do it for me.

Say more about the product and what it will give the potential buyer. This is important, especially considering the first headline of your page.

Also I think you should reconsider the color of your main heading. Blue headlines can work, but here it almost feels as an "aside note" - it doesn't seem like the most important thing to read on the page - which it is.

It also brings some visual distraction. Some headlines on your page are blue, some are red and some are black. I'm not saying all should be in the same color (this would be a very bad rule to follow always), but changing the color too often can make the text hard to follow.

Remember to split test changes to your pages - you won't get any absolute truths here.

P.S. you have a typo in a yellow highlight: "pay people like you for articless"

I hope I gave you some constructive ideas. Good luck with your site, and peace, love and happiness to you too!

Hi, Stephanie

Without graphic ornament, page looks somehow cheap...
I do not have confidence in the pages that look that way...

Secondly, I have not read the whole text. I lost interest in the middle of the page...

Too many of the text...

Concisely, in two or three sentences to describe and offer the product (just how long the visitor attention)...
For the curious, we can provide additional links for more information ...

Use a smaller font, always looks more attractive ...

Hi Stephanie,

The headline is killing your business.

maybe

Earn $90 An Hour By Using Simple, Powerful Strategies That Anyone Can Follow?

i think it could use a little more tweeking

I would get rid of the exclamation mark after Word-Class Writter and put a comma instead and make it like a beginning of a letter. At first I thought that Word-Class Writer was your subtitle. Otherwise some slight tweeking and your doing well :]

In your author bio you basically vomiting statements without any attachment as to why I should care...

Your scarcity or reason to buy today is beyond weak...

Your opener loses me, it feels more like an interrogation....

Your message is lacking any specific promise...

Great start though

The problem really jumps off the page: "World Class Writer!"

Is it about you being a world class writer..?

Is it about you somehow helping them become one..?

Is this offer for world class writers only? (few if any in your target market will feel they are)

Fix the targeting first, lest the confusion follow the reader right through the letter.

I'd also add a pre-head highlighting the problem the headline purports to solve.

Headline itself is way too wordy and 'tries too much'. And the subheading is MIA.

In short: fix the targeting, then fix the headline stack. Then you're in a lot better position to fine tune the rest of it.

1-Why would you use a blue headline when it's been proven over and over that RED is by far the best converting headline?

2- You need a photo of a "smiling woman at home writing" - Paste that in google images and there you go.