Ad copy critique

Hi George,

It's a good attempt, although there's quite a bit you can do to improve it.

Here are a few thoughts ...

You need to make the various parts of your headline stand out - like this.

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The pre-headline calls out to your product, rather like calling out to a buddy across a crowded room.

Your headline was good, although I think war and bazooka is a better pairing than fists and bazookas.

Then the deck copy encourages the prospect to read your main letter by giving more intriguing details and notice how your powerful guarantee is included in the deck copy.

As it's a letter, you should have a salutation. And two of the best are ... Hi fellow Marketer or Dear fellow marketer.

That's because it instantly creates a common bond, which is what you want to achieve first in the letter. We all tend to like folks who are like us, so that instantly puts you alongside your prospect.

And, for the same reason, here's where you tell your story of how you lost money (which will probably send an empathetic ripple across cyberspace) and then how you fought back with your new plugin (because we all like stories of success against the odds).

But - after that - the rest of the letter should be focussed like a laser on the prospect.

So no more 'I', because they only care about what your product will do for them. So, once you've convinced them you are the real deal, never use 'I' again.

You should also repeat your powerful guarantee in more detail, just before you mention the price.

And, of course, sign the letter off with your name or pen name.

There's plenty more, but that's a start for you!

Good luck.

Paul