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Sample headlines from newbie

by hal1989
10 replies
Hi and thanks for all the help everyone gives on this forum!

I am making my way through the AWAI course and am starting to write the vitamin ad. I'm at the point where I need to come up with 25 headlines. So far I think I'm at about 17 and wanted to put them up here to see if I am on the right track.

These sure take some time to come up with after doing lots of research, so I want to see if I am wasting my time or not. Thanks in advance for any critique!

My varsity basketball player said: "So You Got Lucky Dad. C'mon. Best 3 Out of 5?"

These Vitamins and Minerals Can Really Make You Sick

What Makes a Man Wither

I Can Do 10 More Pullups Than My Twenty-Something Best

Build a Male Missile Defense Against The Atom Bombs of Aging

What Did Your Muscles Feel Like In High School?

Party Like A Rock Star - Recover Like a Teen Ager

The 53-Year Old Man Who Could Enter A Bodybuilding Competition

"I am Definitely 'Up' ForOne More Honey - Just Like Our Wedding Night 20 Years Ago"

Why Would Any Guy Want to Be Young?

Why Would a Man Need Medicine If He Felt Great All The Time?

Eat Like You Did When You Were 24, Without the Worries of 58

How To Stop Everything From Going Limp

Here's How Fitness Freaks Deal with Middle Age

Unclogs a Man's Plumbing Without Any Invasion

Which Body is 24 and Which One is 44?

My Wife of 23 years just said: "Sorry But I Couldn't Help Checking Out Your Body"
#headlines #newbie #sample
  • Profile picture of the author wvcopywriter
    Most of these are pretty good. A good start for you. I will try and come with some. If I do I will get back with you on this.

    I have to go right now and get some work done, but I will make a note of this and try and come up with some other good ones. I remember when I did this assignment.
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    Don't have the time to write emails that will get opened, read and your reader to take action then leave me a message. I will get back to you within 48 hrs.

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    • Profile picture of the author hal1989
      Thanks - I appreciate any help I can get.
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      • Profile picture of the author ARSuarez
        These aren't bad. Keep practicing. At least you're not using many of the very played out formulas (though, I can see the heavy influence of Gene Schwartz's material in several of those headlines).

        The headline above mentioning the older parent beating the younger son... I think could use refinement.

        "58 Year Old Arthritic Man Beats 19 Year Old Son 9 Out of 10 Times In Basketball Under Burning Arizona Sun - How?" or " - What's His Secret?"

        You could probably even take both out and leave it at sun. Then just follow up with some good deck copy.

        And that's just a variation on "78 Year Old Man Engages In Sexual Congress 5 Times A Day."

        If you can, use an unbelievable claim dressed up in a very believable way, with a strong dosage of curiosity.

        Anyway, good for you to follow the exercises. A fair share of people buy the AWAI stuff and never do anything with it.

        Best,

        Angel
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        • Profile picture of the author hal1989
          Originally Posted by ARSuarez View Post

          These aren't bad. Keep practicing. At least you're not using many of the very played out formulas (though, I can see the heavy influence of Gene Schwartz's material in several of those headlines).

          The headline above mentioning the older parent beating the younger son... I think could use refinement.

          "58 Year Old Arthritic Man Beats 19 Year Old Son 9 Out of 10 Times In Basketball Under Burning Arizona Sun - How?" or " - What's His Secret?"

          You could probably even take both out and leave it at sun. Then just follow up with some good deck copy.

          And that's just a variation on "78 Year Old Man Engages In Sexual Congress 5 Times A Day."

          If you can, use an unbelievable claim dressed up in a very believable way, with a strong dosage of curiosity.

          Anyway, good for you to follow the exercises. A fair share of people buy the AWAI stuff and never do anything with it.

          Best,

          Angel
          ARSuarez - I'm really impressed. I have been reading 'Breakthrough Advertising' on the side and getting tips on how to strengthen my headline from his 38 ways to do it. Glad to see you don't think I am copying it so much.

          The biggest thing I am learning is good copy is HARD WORK - but then again, that means it limits your competition. I really appreciate all the feedback - Warrior Forum has got to be one of the best sites on the internet for what it does.
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  • Profile picture of the author kellyburdes
    I can't recall the link, but on Vin Montello's website he has a PDF on the top current headlines. Might be helpful.


    Originally Posted by hal1989 View Post

    Hi and thanks for all the help everyone gives on this forum!

    I am making my way through the AWAI course and am starting to write the vitamin ad. I'm at the point where I need to come up with 25 headlines. So far I think I'm at about 17 and wanted to put them up here to see if I am on the right track.

    These sure take some time to come up with after doing lots of research, so I want to see if I am wasting my time or not. Thanks in advance for any critique!

    My varsity basketball player said: "So You Got Lucky Dad. C'mon. Best 3 Out of 5?"

    These Vitamins and Minerals Can Really Make You Sick

    What Makes a Man Wither

    I Can Do 10 More Pullups Than My Twenty-Something Best

    Build a Male Missile Defense Against The Atom Bombs of Aging

    What Did Your Muscles Feel Like In High School?

    Party Like A Rock Star - Recover Like a Teen Ager

    The 53-Year Old Man Who Could Enter A Bodybuilding Competition

    "I am Definitely 'Up' ForOne More Honey - Just Like Our Wedding Night 20 Years Ago"

    Why Would Any Guy Want to Be Young?

    Why Would a Man Need Medicine If He Felt Great All The Time?

    Eat Like You Did When You Were 24, Without the Worries of 58

    How To Stop Everything From Going Limp

    Here's How Fitness Freaks Deal with Middle Age

    Unclogs a Man's Plumbing Without Any Invasion

    Which Body is 24 and Which One is 44?

    My Wife of 23 years just said: "Sorry But I Couldn't Help Checking Out Your Body"
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  • Profile picture of the author imagene
    This forum is FANTASTIC!!! I've learnt so much and will check out the book you're reading for more. Great thread
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  • Profile picture of the author wcmylife
    @HAL - you can only get better as you continue - so keep at it. The one that I liked the best was Party Like a Rockstar.....that was nice.....I would kill a few of the others....I do a couple of headline critiques on my post on Hypnotic Headlines which is part of a WSO...there's a couple of videos below the offer as well...may help you a wee bit..cheers
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    Hypnotic Headlines - Higher Conversions

    e-Mail: hypnoticheadlines@gmail.com
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  • Profile picture of the author bilzz
    hm really impressive ..thanks for sharing this...
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    Emr reviews Rate md Shop online Six sigma Tutorial
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    • Profile picture of the author AdwordsMogul
      How To Stop Everything From Going Limp
      I think you have something going here.
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      "Those who can - DO IT. Those who can't, say it's impossible."
      Jean Paul a.k.a AdwordsMogul
      PHPDevelopers.net - Top of the range PHP developers

      ⇉ Easy Link Saver - Are you tired of the pain of constantly searching for your affiliate links? ( Chrome extension - FREE )
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  • Profile picture of the author 2marketnow
    Any great headlines for Retirement??
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    Julie Gavis
    http://tinyurl.com/6cvm9qe Six Figure Income Fast

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