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Does this title grab your attention??

by mike gregory
22 replies
My WSO is doing very well but I'm always wondering whether the title is doing its job at present i have:

[EARN $200 $300 EVEN $500 Days] INSTANT MONEY TRENDS Is Back For A VERY Limited Time / RAVE REVIEWS

What do you think when you first see this? Does it do its job?

Thanks

Mike
#attention #grab #title
  • Profile picture of the author Torreylee
    It catches my attention for sure, the only thing that doesn't MOVE me is the part about RAVE REVIEWS. I always like something that speaks to the credibility of the reviews these days. But maybe because I am a marketer and I know that many reviews are made up. So maybe my thinking on it is different.
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  • Profile picture of the author Oxbloom
    My initial thought is that people who already know what "Instant Money Trends" is, probably aren't in the market for it any more. Because I can't imagine it's big enough news to be a household phrase for anyone but existing buyers.

    But existing buyers sure as hell don't need to be sold again. So what's the product name doing in the title?
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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    WSOs are an interesting animal because we're all in a very WARM market here on the Warrior Forum and you'll often be able to make sales here without really understanging why. Often, stuff that would work out of necessity in the 'real' world won't work here and visa versa.

    I think your headline is confusing. But... you say your WSO is doing very well. For me that would be enough to simply leave it alone and count the $. Good luck.
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    • Profile picture of the author ARSuarez
      Originally Posted by travlinguy View Post

      WSOs are an interesting animal because we're all in a very WARM market here on the Warrior Forum and you'll often be able to make sales here without really understanging why. Often, stuff that would work out of necessity in the 'real' world won't work here and visa versa.

      I think your headline is confusing. But... you say your WSO is doing very well. For me that would be enough to simply leave it alone and count the $. Good luck.
      There is so much truth here, it's ridiculous.

      WSO section is full of hungry buyers - usually a bit of rapport building copy & bullets with a low price will get you more sales than you can handle.

      Also, Mr. Liberty above made a comment of credibility and specifics. Too true. One of the biggest flaws I notice in copy lately is a lack of specificity. And all things considered, specificity is a huge component of credibility.

      Warmly

      Angel
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  • Profile picture of the author mike gregory
    Thanks for the input guys
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  • Profile picture of the author James Liberty
    Can you find a way to add proof to your headline? You know, something like, "High School Drop-Out From Ohio Now Earns $200 a Day Online."

    Proof & credibility are important... and don't even make your claims stronger than your proof.

    That said, one of my favorite techniques is the use of an if/then statement, such as, "If you have five minutes a day, you can earn up to $1000 a week online."

    Here, read this:
    http://www.marketingbullets.com/bullet03.htm

    Hope this was of some help!
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  • Profile picture of the author wrcato2
    Yup, so does, Does this title grab your attention?
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    • Profile picture of the author mike gregory
      Originally Posted by wrcato2 View Post

      Yup, so does, Does this title grab your attention?
      lol yes the more I look at what I titled this, the more i think...hmmm
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  • Profile picture of the author TokiTover
    hmmm, sounds like everyone else out there. Peeps always create their products that have worked for them but I never see anything about how a particular product produced results for someone else. So it would be cool to post something of value like that in your title. Reviews are really just a review, people like to see results nowadays. just my .2
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  • Profile picture of the author MammothStrength
    Originally Posted by Micheal D Forbes View Post

    [EARN $200 $300 EVEN $500 Days] - This sounds clumsy to me, like it's missing a word. I find the bracketing distracting. It draws my attention but not in a good way for me.
    Agreed, EARN and Days don't work together. EARN $$ "a Day" maybe?

    Or GENERATE $$ Days
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  • Profile picture of the author Gavin Stephenson
    Does this title grab your attention?? <<--- Thats a sick headline .. It caught my attention

    If your selling a copywriting course in the future use it in your EMAIL Broadcast lol
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    • Profile picture of the author mike gregory
      Originally Posted by GavinStephenson View Post

      Does this title grab your attention?? <<--- Thats a sick headline .. It caught my attention

      If your selling a copywriting course in the future use it in your EMAIL Broadcast lol
      lol i wanted to get my actual WSO title critiqued and ended up creating an attention "grabber" in this thread, well I'm glad I got the attention of you guys, and I think this title may be used for a future product of mine
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  • Profile picture of the author pro2pronetwork
    Got my attention
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    • Profile picture of the author Sultan of Swipe
      Agreed. A great subject line...

      And it could be incorporated into your otherwise slightly confusing SEO headline so easily...

      Does this "instant money trend" grab your attention?

      Use it to make $300 a day, $500 a day, even $1 Million a day!

      Of course that's if you're still keeping the whole instant money trends theme
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  • Profile picture of the author morninjoi
    Remove the "Rave Reviews"
    'Instant money trends is back' is catchy
    EARN $200 $300 EVEN $500 Days seems a bit undecisive. Rather something like 'Earn $500 days are here' is more like it.
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  • Profile picture of the author corsleymaxwell
    I think title matters. People usually look at the title and become interested when the title is interesting also.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jarrett
      Banned
      There's some great feedback in this thread.

      here's what I'd add.

      #1. Specificity - already mentioned earlier about indecisiveness with the $300 , $400 , $500

      Specificity / Exactness really helps alleviate people's fears and basically tells people that you are going to reveal to them an EXACT plan.. and not something that's wishy-washy or theory.

      If I read something that told me I could make $300 or $800 , or $2.. it gives me doubt and like I'm about to read a report where you give me 'ideas' that could work..

      I don't want 'ideas'.. I want an idiot proof method to make an exact dollar amount.. that tells me that I'm following a guy who knows exactly where I want to go and how to get there...

      This is why you'll see all the top CB launches say EXACT stuff like:

      How I made $302,004.21 in 21 Days.. or Revealed: How a Drunk College Professor Stumbled Across a Secret Loophole to Pillage Fivver for $18,302.81 In Just 13 Days...

      lol. just made that up... but see how EXACT / specific that is?


      #2 - Make it Outrageous. Jaw-Dropping. Smack Them In The face.
      WF is a tricky beast.. I don't do alot of wso's.. so I'm not real acquainted with the cycle of the average warrior.. but I'm going to assume that since we're all marketers here who get pummeled with ads all day everyday..

      If you want the best results then hook them in with something that really stands out and gets their attention.

      Think Bizarre. Weird. Wacky. Mysterious. Curious

      Things that force people to open it...

      Just like ya did with the title of this thread 'does this title grab your attention?'

      Reel people in..

      If you want to find a goldmine with this stuff.. do google search for archives for headlines from all the tabloids / Star / national enquirer / etc.

      The people that come up with bat boy.. stuff like that. lol
      Those people know how to write compelling copy...

      Nobody wants to be caught dead reading a tabloid... but they make those headlines so irresistible that it's IMPOSSIBLE to pass it by... that's what i'm talking about baby ;P


      I just came up with a line in my newest book that I was all geeked out about. lol.. anyways I think it kinda demonstrates the bizarre/mysterious a little :

      I Just wrote a headline in one of my ebooks that read "How a 15 Year Old Snot Nosed Kid Made $65 /hr With an Empty Briefcase..."

      bizarre - most people - how did a 15 year old get paid $65 an hour?
      Mysterious - empty briefcase? what?

      Have fun with your words.. Think Intrigue.. mystery.. Whenever I write headlines and copy.. I try to picture myself sitting around a campfire among close-friends.. roasting marshmellows and telling spooky stories..


      Make it interesting.. Entice them.. create a STORY... the moon was full.. the air was thick.. drag people in..


      "Instant Money Trends" is good.. but it doesn't make me 'curious' as much as it does make me think 'hype'..

      Now if you said something like.. How I Made $8,321.23 In 24 Hours With a Little Known Web App

      That makes me curious.. whats the web app? where's it at?

      Some other money words you can throw in to titles to help spice it up:
      'breakthrough / Revolutionary / LoopHole / Sneaky Little / Exploit / Covert / Underground "
      'loophole / traffic exploit / sneaky trick to _'


      Story Telling - One of the biggest secrets to sell the hell out of anything..
      Try using it in your headlines, titles, etc. as much as possible..

      Have your whole message be one congruent story.. and again an example of this would be any of the examples I gave ya earlier..


      anyways hopefully that'll give ya some ideas
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  • Profile picture of the author mike gregory
    Jarrett that was a great response and have taken some real gold nuggets out of your response
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  • Profile picture of the author CodeMyConcept
    [EARN $200 $300 EVEN $500 Days]

    We don't think $200 and $300 is really necesary, you could just leave it at "Earn $500 per Day!"
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  • Profile picture of the author AnimalSpirit
    Not a bad title at all. However, I do recommend making it a bit longer. Include a few words about HOW you can make $200, $300 and even $500.
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  • Profile picture of the author Quality Copywriter
    Hi there

    I could help you with a new title.

    Work Samples | Creative copy that converts

    cheers

    Peter
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