[CLOSED] So you Want to Make Bank?
Just something I quickly wrote in my spare time. Any thoughts or comments would be appreciated.
...
I'm not going to claim to be some marketing or copy writing guru because that would be lying. What I will tell you is that I have a set of darting eyes that are fixed to the back of my head with millions and millions of tiny muscle fibers and quite frankly they're bored.
So let those little *******s see something about your copy or headline and I'll make sure they'll do their best in giving you some sort of suggestion on what they think would be good to do.
And of course you may be so far behind the IM eight ball that you might not even have anything for me to see, so I'll have to write something for you.
Why should you listen to my eyes?
Because I always carry a fork with me, and every time I hold that fork six inches away from my face I can think of nothing more painful than shoving that fork right into my useless, beady eyes and searing it on a new Coleman Grill. So when the little buggers see something that shouldn't be there, they'll want to make sure their right.
How much is this going to cost?
Because my eyes often do get scared of the hand that weilds the dagger which appears before me, I'm going to have to charge you an arm and leg, but for good copy that's what you're going to pay.
Can you talk in dollar figures?
How long's a piece of string? Well the one in front of me is a couple of feet. So if you can't afford to pay upwards of $1750 then let me know, and I'll post you the piece of string and if you are light enough you can try hanging yourself with it.
$1750?!? You must write stuff for me quickly then.
Unfortunately my hand aren't as skilled as my eyes. If you've noticed any typo's then I'm sure you've already guessed that much. This means that I will probably take in between 7 and 14 days to write your sales letter, but again because you already understand the value of good copy, you're going to be willing to wait this long.
Ok, so how can I contact you?
Well, remember when you were a kid and you wrote a letter to Santa. Well while Santa lives in the North Pole and I live in Australia the chances of a letter reaching me are as likely as the letters you wrote as a child reaching Santa, so you'll probably want to send me an email.
Jackson Riddle
...
I'm not going to claim to be some marketing or copy writing guru because that would be lying. What I will tell you is that I have a set of darting eyes that are fixed to the back of my head with millions and millions of tiny muscle fibers and quite frankly they're bored.
So let those little *******s see something about your copy or headline and I'll make sure they'll do their best in giving you some sort of suggestion on what they think would be good to do.
And of course you may be so far behind the IM eight ball that you might not even have anything for me to see, so I'll have to write something for you.
Why should you listen to my eyes?
Because I always carry a fork with me, and every time I hold that fork six inches away from my face I can think of nothing more painful than shoving that fork right into my useless, beady eyes and searing it on a new Coleman Grill. So when the little buggers see something that shouldn't be there, they'll want to make sure their right.
How much is this going to cost?
Because my eyes often do get scared of the hand that weilds the dagger which appears before me, I'm going to have to charge you an arm and leg, but for good copy that's what you're going to pay.
Can you talk in dollar figures?
How long's a piece of string? Well the one in front of me is a couple of feet. So if you can't afford to pay upwards of $1750 then let me know, and I'll post you the piece of string and if you are light enough you can try hanging yourself with it.
$1750?!? You must write stuff for me quickly then.
Unfortunately my hand aren't as skilled as my eyes. If you've noticed any typo's then I'm sure you've already guessed that much. This means that I will probably take in between 7 and 14 days to write your sales letter, but again because you already understand the value of good copy, you're going to be willing to wait this long.
Ok, so how can I contact you?
Well, remember when you were a kid and you wrote a letter to Santa. Well while Santa lives in the North Pole and I live in Australia the chances of a letter reaching me are as likely as the letters you wrote as a child reaching Santa, so you'll probably want to send me an email.
Jackson Riddle
Give me 15 minutes and I'll show you where your sales are dropping off – and how to lift them
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