"Faster than" Metaphor?!

by 9 comments
Hey everyone,

I'm trying to think of a metaphor for "faster than".

Example: "...this method will get you there faster than __________."

So far I've come up with

"Faster than a fighter jet"

"Faster than a freight train"

"Faster than Charlie Sheen can say winning after 3 lines of coke"

"Faster than a fat kid chasing an ice cream truck"

The last two don't really work for me because I'm trying to convey "speedy results" rather than injecting my copy with humor at this point (it's near the call to action).

Any ideas would be greatly appreciated!
#copywriting #faster than #metaphor
  • Profile picture of the author UndeniableSpirit
    I'm thinking "greased lightning" would be a solid one!
  • Profile picture of the author colmodwyer
    ...a speeding bullet?

  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    Howz about a melting snow cone in hell. Hey, I likes it.
  • Profile picture of the author UndeniableSpirit
    Thanks for the suggestions guys! I wanted to stay away from the cliche "faster than a speeding bullet" but I'm just doing some research and commonly used metaphors are recommended by some of the greats!
  • Profile picture of the author Alex Barboza
    "Faster than Garfiled finds pizza" It was on The Simpsons once
  • Profile picture of the author writeandreview
    Faster than a speeding bullet works because it's cliche and instantly recognizable.

    After seeing "Faster than a ..." I bet many readers guess what's coming and some would even skip reading the full sentence. That could be exactly the behavior you want.

    I like to use "relevant metaphors".

    That is, metaphors that are in context with whatever's being promoted. These type of metaphors can trigger a reader's memories and thoughts.

    If I can anchor my pitch to something already "inside" of a reader, my job gets a lot easier.

    For example, assuming I know my target and/or demographic:

    A book on dealing with jerks at work:
    Faster than sh@t rolls downhill after a major project goes belly up.

    A set of self hypnosis audio files to help nursing mothers sleep:
    Faster than an exhausted newborn drifts into a dreamland of mommy's hugs and kisses.

    Running shoes/sprinter's spikes:
    Faster than superhuman Usain Bolt can sprint 100 meters.

    Relevant metaphors are a "sneaky" way to toss in a few credibility boosters, associate your product with important icons and pin your product's benefits to a prospect's experiences.

    Good luck with your metaphor hunt! (if you're a hunter)
    Good luck on your voyage for the perfect metaphor! (sailor)
    Good luck boldly going where no other metaphor has gone before! (Trekkie or Shatner groupie)

  • Profile picture of the author rammonster
    Faster than light or maybe lightning fast?

    Faster than a politicians promise on election day (not an original)


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