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The Headline Challenge

by robs132
10 replies
Released as a WSO so line 1 will be looking to get the click and line 2 will be first line they see once in WSO:

Headline 1:

Google Sniper? Smash Them! 10x quicker and easier than a “Sniper site”.

Smash those stupid sniper sites out of the water!

VS.

Headline 2:

Complete newbie goes from $0 to to $118.18 a day in under 30 days. You’ll laugh….

… when you see how stupidly simple this is.
#challenge #headline
  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    Dude, the second one is a no-brainer in these parts. And I know you already know this but, run with the concept you're going for in the first in the body of your copy. Good luck.
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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    What I'm saying is the second headline will work all day long here. What newbie wouldn't want to rise up from no dough to a buck eighteen a day? The second headline speaks more to the mechanics of your program, so it would make sense to use that in your copy.

    Is it the best hook you have? I have no idea because I don't know anything about your stuff, only you do. But with the choices you presented, it's by far the weaker headline in my opinion. I'd hope you have more than the idea in number one to run with to develop your pitch. So use it as part of your compelling appeal along with all the other cool, and interesting, features and benefits of your product. Good luck again.
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  • Profile picture of the author erange
    No Brainer - Headline 2

    To Your Success,
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  • Profile picture of the author Dmaind
    I like headline 1 but it will represent very narrow market. Imagine, what if some one comes to your website who is not aware of Google Sniper Product? He will leave.... and you don't want this to happen for sure.

    Second one is good but the USP is missing.

    How about...
    "Complete Newbie Goes From $0 to to $118.18 A day In Under 30 Days Without Quitting His Day JOB!"


    D Maind
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Newman
    The first headline is a bit vague, and it does not clearly convey the benefit for the buyer. It's not lucid and direct enough.

    The second one clearly communicates the benefit. It may lead the reader into the body of the copy.
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  • Profile picture of the author The Niche Man
    I like the second headline. Why? Because it tells more of a story than the first. You want to know more about the newbies story, his or her background and how they did it. It has more feeling in it than the first headline.

    If you can "legitimately" put a person in the headline that always makes it more interesting to me.
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  • Profile picture of the author The Niche Man
    I like the second headline. Why? Because it tells more of a story than the first. You want to know more about the newbies story, his or her background and how they did it. It has more feeling in it than the first headline.

    If you can "legitimately" put a person in the headline that always makes it more interesting to me.
    Signature
    Download "Free 80 Page E-Book"
    "201 Ways To Live Better On Less Money".
    "Because The Easiest Way To Make Money is ... ... By Saving Some First!"
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  • Profile picture of the author GlobalMedia
    Being a newbie, I get more fascinated towards the second option. It is simple and emphatic. One feel the impulse to use it once he reads the headline.
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  • Profile picture of the author writeandreview
    I'm drawn to two too.

    Plus, I don't get the logic behind "smashing" something out of the water. Maybe I'd like it better if you changed it to something like:

    "Grab George Brown and his Sniper site disciples by their throats and hold them under water like sad little drowning kittens."

    Ha. Ha.
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