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Finally I've Cracked it!! ..I Think :) ???

by shayman
14 replies
Hey all
I've been testing headlines for my sales page for weeks now..just when I think I've come up with the $$$ one then sales dry up, so I try something else, make a sale then sales dry up, so I change it again..and so it goes.

Anyhow, I finally think I've it's a 'WRAP!' but would appreciate some opinions please:
A.S.A.Piano! - Easy To Learn Songs For Beginners To Piano - Video Tutorials & Lessons For Beginners To Piano - Learn To Play Piano Fast - Simple Piano Songs lessons

I suppose the only real test is to see how it goes over the next few days

Regards
Shayman
#cracked #finally
  • Profile picture of the author photodrew
    Looking good - but why don't you embed the first video testimonial on screen? Reduces the extra click, and some of your customers might have pop ups blocked and leave due to confusion.

    And also I found the end where you decide to switch from the buy now offer to the free lesson was kind of confusing at first glance. Not sure why, maybe it's just the font sizing and spacing, would make it all a touch smaller - right now it's huge, so after the "Add to Cart" button I think there's more exciting stuff so I keep reading, instead of stopping and buying.
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  • Profile picture of the author shayman
    They are 2 excellent points that you have made Photodrew, particularly with regards to the free lesson. I'll certainly make that smaller as you have suggested
    Great point!!
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    Sales come and go in spurts.

    You need to do an A/B split test to know what really performs better... and send at least a couple of thousand visitors to it.

    Otherwise, you're just guessing.

    -Daniel.
    Signature

    Always looking for badass direct-response copywriters. PM me if we don't know each other and you're looking for work.

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    • Profile picture of the author shayman
      Originally Posted by Daniel Scott View Post

      Sales come and go in spurts.

      You need to do an A/B split test to know what really performs better... and send at least a couple of thousand visitors to it.

      Otherwise, you're just guessing.

      -Daniel.
      I like your plan Daniel..please send them within the next hour so I can test!!
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  • Profile picture of the author BartsTreasures
    People are correct when they say ultimately you must split test headlines (and other features of the sales page)..that said, here are what I hope will be some helpful tips on creating powerful headlines.

    The following should not only help you devise hugely profitable headlines, but also headlines that don;t 'dry up' with time.

    1st, remember that a headline should convey your TOP feature WITH associted benefit and whenever possible appeal on an emotional level. You make a good start with these...

    Easy To Learn Songs For Beginners To Piano - Video Tutorials & Lessons For Beginners To Piano - Learn To Play Piano Fast - Simple Piano Songs lessons

    However, these are "features"... What we need to do is convert each feature into an "emotional benefit". ALSO, ideally, a headline should DIFFERENTIATE you from your competition.

    Easy To Learn Songs For Beginners To Piano =

    With Our Easy To Learn Songs For Pianno Beginners AND our UNIQUE "fast results" Piano Study Guide, Your Friends Will Be APPLAUDING Your Music In NO Time! ...Thinking You've Been Playing Piano For YEARS not just WEEKS!

    See how the headline
    1) Conveys a strong benefit (Your Friends Will APPLAUD)

    2) Makes a strong emotional appeal (friends will think you've practised for YEARS
    not just weeks) and

    3) DIFFERENTIATES your lessons from your competitions classes? ("fast results" Piano
    Study)

    Ideally, your headline differentiates you enough from your competition that PRICE becomes much less irrelevent.



    Play around with this and generate more emotion driven benefits loaded headlines. Then TEST one against another to see what gets best results!

    Hope this helps.
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    • Profile picture of the author shayman
      Originally Posted by BartsTreasures View Post


      Play around with this and generate more emotion driven benefits loaded headlines. Then TEST one against another to see what gets best results!

      Hope this helps.
      This is a big help. I have played around with the headlines but understand what you mean and I realise how just one or two words can either make or break a sale!
      One thing that has been suggested is though not to leave open ended timescales i.e 'In No Time', but I can change this to 'Just 7 Weeks' or waht I consider to be a realistic timescale but I do understand your drift!

      Many Thanks
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    • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
      Originally Posted by BartsTreasures View Post

      With Our Easy To Learn Songs For Pianno Beginners AND our UNIQUE "fast results" Piano Study Guide, Your Friends Will Be APPLAUDING Your Music In NO Time! ...Thinking You've Been Playing Piano For YEARS not just WEEKS!
      That's a worse headline than what he started with. It's about fifty miles too long.

      It seems prudent to remind you of the classic headline for piano:

      "They laughed when I sat down at the piano... but when I started to play..."

      Obviously very old. But there's no benefit or features there. Just curiosity.

      And it worked.

      I appreciate you're trying to help. But in the future maybe you could offer your opinions as just that, instead of putting them across as facts.

      -Daniel
      Signature

      Always looking for badass direct-response copywriters. PM me if we don't know each other and you're looking for work.

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      • Profile picture of the author shayman
        Originally Posted by Daniel Scott View Post


        It seems prudent to remind you of the classic headline for piano:

        "They laughed when I sat down at the piano... but when I started to play..."


        -Daniel
        That's a very cool headline Daniel
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      • Profile picture of the author BartsTreasures
        Originally Posted by Daniel Scott View Post

        That's a worse headline than what he started with. It's about fifty miles too long.

        It seems prudent to remind you of the classic headline for piano:

        "They laughed when I sat down at the piano... but when I started to play..."

        Obviously very old. But there's no benefit or features there. Just curiosity.

        And it worked.

        I appreciate you're trying to help. But in the future maybe you could offer your opinions as just that, instead of putting them across as facts.

        -Daniel
        I apologize... 1) I've found longer headlines at times work better but I realize that's not always possible and 2) I meant the headline to be reworked, not as a final...you are absolutely right I should have been much clearer...it was an effort to illustrate the underlying principles...will state more carefuly in future
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    It is, but I can't take credit for it. I didn't come up with it.

    (In my defense, when it was coined I wasn't born yet )

    Can't remember who did it. Someone who knows their copywriting history better might be able to tell you, though.

    -Daniel
    Signature

    Always looking for badass direct-response copywriters. PM me if we don't know each other and you're looking for work.

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    • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
      Banned
      Originally Posted by Daniel Scott View Post

      It is, but I can't take credit for it. I didn't come up with it.

      (In my defense, when it was coined I wasn't born yet )

      Can't remember who did it. Someone who knows their copywriting history better might be able to tell you, though.

      -Daniel
      John Caples of course. Was still working as a Creative Director at 82 and died at 90. His headstone reads "They laughed when I sat down at the typewriter"*











      * not really.
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  • Profile picture of the author shayman
    Haha..well I love it Daniel, so I'm trying a slight spin on it for a week to see how it goes.
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  • Profile picture of the author Gourmet Gifts
    Originally Posted by shayman View Post

    Hey all
    I've been testing headlines for my sales page for weeks now..just when I think I've come up with the $$$ one then sales dry up, so I try something else, make a sale then sales dry up, so I change it again..
    I like it, especially the video with the student playing the piano -nothing better than a demonstration of your prowess.
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    Crystal Infused Water Bottles
    Lensball Australia
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