11 replies
I am working on a long form sales letter selling a very targeted diet/exercise product aimed at guys in their late 30's through early 50's.

I got on a roll and wrote about 5000 words.

The story reads great, it is very compelling (if I do say so myself ) and it keeps you reading. It makes the turn very naturally into the pitch and by the end you really WANT the product. I may ultimately include a sales video with it, but at this point I don't have the budget or the right on screen talent for it.

I am a little worried about the length of this sales letter. It is about twice as long as most of the niche sales letters I have had success with in the past.

Has anyone had success with sales letters this long?
#length #long #long copy #sales letters
  • Profile picture of the author Loren Woirhaye
    Yes. A letter cannot practically be too long, but it can
    be too boring.

    Don't fall in love with everything. Learn to edit, but if
    you've got a compelling 5000 word letter with enough
    compelling subheads, test it and see.

    Most people won't read the whole letter, but many will
    be impressed that if you have such enthusiasm for the
    product they'll give you the benefit of the doubt and
    try it out.

    Of course with direct mail there are weight issues that
    give reason to keep sales letters shorter for many markets.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3754986].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Brock Poling
      Thanks for your thoughts.

      I guess I should have been clear, this is a web based sales letter site.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3755010].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author WebRank1
    You know the phrase 'The more you tell, the more you sell' right? This is definitely true provided that you really have something to say.
    Looking at your age reach I can imagine that these are men that have been around. That have life experience and probably know how to put things in perspective. They probably are more skeptical than your average teenager.

    So when you say that your copy flows, and naturally turns into a pitch that in the end really makes the prospect desire that product, I wouldn't be surprised if you are on the money.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3755072].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Stephen Dean
    Every sentence needs to be there for a reason. As Loren said, you don't have to worry about being too long, but too boring.

    And for most beginning copywriters, I always encourage them to write short copy. There's simply fewer chances to make mistakes.

    Cheers,
    Stephen
    Signature
    Free Coaching WSO: How to finish all your 2013 "Goals" in JANUARY with my proven productivity secrets - taken from 9 years working as a freelance copywriter. Click Here

    Occupation: Best Copywriter Ever.
    Clients:
    Matt Bacak, Jim Edwards, Ryan Deiss and more.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3755510].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Bulbub
    For every words that you write, you must be think not twice, not trice but more. You should be specific on the words. I'm not a good writer. But I love to read.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3757397].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author xtremeux
    User scan the page and if anything interesting they will read 1st main points and then digger the content. However, 5000 words of content is very big and honestly nobody have time to read the entire content.

    Make sure that, user can get following information when scan a page:
    Beneficial headline, unique value proposition
    Easy call-to-action (put several time if content is too long)
    Testimonials with name (if possible keep photos also)
    How it works - video (nearly 1 min. video how your product works)
    Benefits of competitors

    Ensure that your copy should be guiding customers to purchase right product but not buy this product.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3757464].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author warguru
      Have you tested the copy?

      Use the long version, note the response, change to the short version and note the response.

      The version that converts better, wins.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3758537].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author John_S
    The elephant in the living room here is EDITING.

    Some copywriters are so-so writers, but terrific at editing.

    The problem with length is thinking like it's copywriting-by-the-pound. People hear "long copy sells," so they make their copy long ...not better.

    Another great phrase to parrot is "Salesmanship in print." One problem sales people have is shutting up after they actually sell the product. They make a sale. Then they go on to unsell it.

    Oh they can think up lots to say alright. Trouble is, they shouldn't.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3758846].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Brock Poling
      Originally Posted by John_S View Post

      The problem with length is thinking like it's copywriting-by-the-pound. People hear "long copy sells," so they make their copy long ...not better.

      I hear you. I am not trying to make it long because I think that is where conversions come from.

      Basically, I sat down and started writing a first person narrative of how guys in their 30's - early 50's just let themselves degrade physically through all of life's little compromises.

      The "story" is a fast read and something that every one of my target audience will relate to. They will ALL relate to this to a greater or lesser degree, and the solution is highly desirable. (Basically I am partnering with a SUPER STAR trainer to produce customized diets and workouts for these guys.) When you see this guy's track record it is nothing short of miraculous.

      This isn't a universal product. It is tightly focused. He normally trains elite pro athletes and they travel from the four corners of the globe to come train with him, but I (alone) am offering these diets and workouts that he CUSTOM CREATES for these guys. It isn't a template or a paint by numbers approach, and it isn't a gimmick to sell more ancillary products like supplements, or eBooks or webinars, etc. It is essentially the blue print that he uses when he works with people 1:1.

      He has a LOT of case studies of either taking seriously overweight people and turning getting them very fit (by anyone's standards), and "regular people" and giving them "movie star bodies"

      After this story unwinds it ended up being around 5,000 words. It is broken up nicely with pictures and sub-heads, but if you read the copy it makes you "MUST HAVE IT" (It is ~$200 price point)

      I think the conversion will be very high, but of course I will split test it.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3761135].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author BrianMcLeod
    Isn't this video of Drayton Bird nailing this topic
    from our own Rezbi?

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3759811].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author alcymart
    Your letter would have to be very well written. But look over some paragraphes carefully if you can shorten them without hurting the copy. I write long sales letters too but their only a draft until I start shortening and polishing it.

    Bernard St-Pierre
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3761180].message }}

Trending Topics