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Need Sales Page Review

by Bruha
7 replies
Just got my first sales page up for a membership site I launched this weekend.

I'm wondering if people can give me any tips on how to make it better?

Social Media Money Storm | Just another WordPress site

Thanks in advance for the help.
#page #review #sales
  • Profile picture of the author joejoechen
    Hey man.. Cool Sales page! Here's my 2 cents:

    1. Tune up your Headlines Fonts

    2. If you can put in numbers in your headline that would be best (Eg. I'm About To Show You How You Can Get 5000 Fans in 2 Weeks & Storm The Social Media Sites In Rage bla bla bla) Just came out of my head but make sure you can back up your numbers :>

    3. Put some images in your sales page

    4. Maybe some screenshots of proves on your stuff that it works (before and after thingy). This will DEFINITELY help!

    5. I noticed your video, shift up right up to the above and have it at autoplay.

    6. Test
    7. Test
    8. Test test test test test test............

    hope i helped!

    Joe
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  • Profile picture of the author Vincenzo Oliva
    I've never seen a squeeze page that USED video put it at the bottom. That's a first.
    You need to define who your target customer is more concisely. Are you targeting someone who doesn't even know what Facebook is? (your video) or someone who knows the value but just can't get it right. If I was in the ladder I wouldn't want to see a totally "newby" training series. So I would pass.
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    • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
      The first payment button is way too early in the copy. Credibility hasn't been established and claims haven't been proven yet.

      Also, the headline is weak. "Social Media Marketing Monster" is abstract. People respond to specifics, not generalities.

      Alex
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  • Profile picture of the author Studio13
    I would take the word "I'm" out of your headline for starters...
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    • Profile picture of the author OutOfThisWord
      You are asking the reader to work much too hard.

      When you are finished writing, go back and see how much you can remove so it's easy for the reader to grasp your offer effortlessly.

      Try something like this...


      If you want to have your own profitable Internet marketing business...

      LEARN TO MINT MONEY IN THE SOCIAL NETWORK GOLDMINE

      Step-by-step video training unlocks vault of Facebook and Twitter...
      ...works even if you've never had a website before
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      • Profile picture of the author AdwordsMogul
        With all due respect, your copy is doing too much talking without saying anything.

        If you have achieved results using your method that needs to come up front - in your headline and the first few paragraphs.

        Here is the deal:this is a competitive niche. There is only one thing that can make your copy work: proof.

        And then you need to put in proof to prove your proof. That's it.
        Signature
        "Those who can - DO IT. Those who can't, say it's impossible."
        Jean Paul a.k.a AdwordsMogul
        PHPDevelopers.net - Top of the range PHP developers

        ⇉ Easy Link Saver - Are you tired of the pain of constantly searching for your affiliate links? ( Chrome extension - FREE )
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  • Profile picture of the author Bruha
    Thanks to everyone who commented. I'm reviewing my copy now and will use all of your suggestions.
    Signature

    Visit my website at www.ctbonlinemarketingllc.com to learn more about how to make money online!

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