Do I suck badly at copywriting? Please have a look at this site, and tell me!

First of all, if you're in the United States I'd be very wary of doing an affiliate review website.

Now on to the copy itself. It seems unclear whether you're a reviewer or a salesperson - you can be one or the other, but you can't be both. If you're going to write sales copy, don't make the headline lure the reader in as if they're reading a review. Make the headline compelling, make it frame the key problem facing the customer and the key benefit ZetaClear provides. What's so bad about toenail fungus? Is it painful? Is it itchy? Is it embarrassing? For example:

What If You Could End The Pain of Toenail Fungus... For Good?

Pain, or discomfort, or whatever. I don't know enough about the product and target market to give you something more effective, but that gives you an idea.

As for body copy, I agree with what was said above.

Great answers, guys! I've fully or partially quoted all of you and replied below.

Good point; benefits-based writing is something I've never excelled at, and I'll have to look more closely at this.

It's true; I basically whipped this site up in a short period of time; I definitely didn't consider whether it sounded like a review page or a sales page, and seemingly, it turned into an ineffective hybrid of both!

I'm not sure why you caution me about writing affiliate review websites if I'm in the States. (For what it's worth, I live in Canada, but I still don't understand the reason for your warning; would you mind letting me know?)

LOL, I know. I hesitated when I put the word "badly" in; but I'll leave it now, for the benefit of anyone else reading this thread.

A "7"? Argh, the pain! Naw, I'm kidding; it's quite alright - I need to know if I'm doing a poor job at something like this. When you say "Never write a sales page that links to another sales page. Your hook is awful," are you suggesting that my site resembles a sales page too much to be linked to the actual product sales page?

If by "hook" you mean my site's headline, it probably is indeed "awful". Could you give an example of what you would change?

Now, when you say "If you're good at expository writing, simply describe the problem and offer a solution,", would you suggest (using my site as an example) writing about toenail fungus and why it's so awful, and then mentioning the product (ZetaClear)? It's at the point of "offering a solution" that I get stuck. I don't really know how to present it in a way that will make someone say "Yes, I need this product and I need it NOW!"

Can you give me some ideas of how to "offer a solution"?

For example, let's say I've written a few paragraphs about what toenail fungus is, what my experience with it was like, how awful and unsightly it was, etc. Then, it would be time to offer the solution: ZetaClear. But what would I write? My mind draws a blank.

For example: "After years of burning, disgusting looking toenails and hundreds of dollars spent on useless over-the-counter and prescription products from the drug store, I read about something called ZetaClear. They promised a natural and effective solution to the fungus that had been plaguing me.

I was skeptical; I thought I'd tried every product on the market, but heck - what did I have to lose? I ordered it, risk free, and tried it out. I didn't notice anything happening at first, but the instructions said to be patient. At least it was easy to apply and it dried fast; I could keep my funky looking nails covered with socks while it worked its magic. Eventually, I noticed that the sore, red skin around my nails was getting lighter and less tender to the touch. I was amazed - but I wasn't holding my breath.

After a few more weeks, my nails were back to their healthy, normal color and the insane itching had almost completely stopped. The progress continued until one day I looked down and realized that my toenails looked NORMAL. Thank God, because the sun was shining and it was time to hit the beach.

Look, I've tried every nail fungus product on the market. Most weren't very effective. Other stunk (figuratively AND literally). ZetaClear is the only thing that ever worked for me. I've got a feeling it can work for you, too. Check it out here." (and then I'd put my affiliate link)

Okay, I whipped that up pretty fast without thinking very hard about it. If that still rates high on the suck-o-meter, please tell me. But if it would make a good closing to a description of the problem and offer a solution in a way that would make someone click and buy, I'd be pleased to know.

No offense taken! Thank you for your thoughts!

Thanks for sharing that with me. It's interesting that you would liken my page more to an "article" than a webpage. I guess this again reflects my natural writing style; informative, kind of dry, not "in your face" - which is really useful for some things, and not so much for others!

My thanks for your take on my page; it's a bit of a different opinion than what Alessandro had to say (which was to shorten and simplify it), but I see what you mean about improving the site's credibility.

Thanks for further explaining "features" vs. "benefits". The link you provided is helpful and something I hadn't really considered before; though I can see how it would play a big role in convincing someone that a product would really help them. Heck, I'm sure that masterful use of this technique has caused me to buy things without even realizing that my buttons are being pushed the right way.
__________________________________________________ _____________
Thank you again, everyone! If any of you want to reply further - I'd really like opinions on the example of closing text that I wrote above - or if anyone else cares to chime in, I'd love to hear from you. It seems that the general consensus is to choose one focus (sales or review page), but since my site, by necessity, links to the actual sales page, a one-person review seems to be the best option, right?

Cheers

Hi there,

I am actually a potential customer as I have had this problem for many years.

You need before and after photos and a timeline for the photos to convince me. The hardest thing about curing this condition is having to use a treatment for many months before you know it's working.

You also need to play up this as an alternative to drugs.

I'd rather see a strong promise in the headline.

When I read the phrase, "directly into your bloodstream," I was mentally out of there. I don't want any substance I am taking not under the direction of a medical doctor going directly into my bloodstream.

Beware of using the word "scam" because it gets even gullible customers thinking YOU might be scamming them.

Good luck,
Marcia Yudkin