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My first sales attemp in 3 years

by mkt
2 replies
About 3 years ago, I put up a product and wrote great sales copy for it, and the product was a total flop. Of course I was a beginner at the time and didn't make a single sale.

Fast forward 3 years and I'm going for it again, except this time, I've learned a lot more about this business and hopefully I have done some things right this time.

This is my lame groveling attempt to ask for comments about the site if you care to take a look.

badbreathguidebook.com

Thanks in advance.
#attemp #copywriting #review #sales #years
  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    Overall, it's weak, not convincing. I have no idea why you'd make someone click to another page to get to the actual message. The sales process needs to be simple and every additional click is an obstacle. Put it all on one page.

    You don't have a compelling headline on either page. I scanned the copy and noticed quite a few typos. People will be forgiving of some but many will think your product is going to be like your letter and bug out. You need to run this by a proofreader. Not a bad effort, now tune it up.

    I did a search for "bad breath cure" and noticed there's a lot of free info for it. The fourth site on page one had a free ebook with natural cures. You can certainly sell a paid product even with tons of free info out there but you're going to have to get your page in tiptop shape first. Good luck.
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  • Profile picture of the author mkt
    Thanks for the tips. I wondered about the second page, but I will abandon that for now.
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