Is This Convert Worthy?

5 replies
I have a WSO running right now, and it is not doing well at all. I have a feeling it may be the sales copy that is not doing a good enough job. I kindly request some warriors to valuate the sales copy and get back to me on what can be improved. I'm also asking if there is anyone who would be willing to re-write it for me for a small fee (we can discuss that later).

WSO Here. http://www.warriorforum.com/warrior-...marketing.html
#convert #worthy
  • Profile picture of the author Dean Jackson
    G'day, Mike!

    One of your commenters was right... the page is very vague.

    • Your headline, for starters doesn't tell me anything worth reading on about.

    • Tell me more about why picking the wrong affiliate program is costing me time and money... make your case for why people need your product.

    • Every other WSO out there promises the same, exact old thing... there are a bajillion other "affiliate marketing" offers out there. What makes you any different? Tell me the possibilities once I know how to pick the right affiliate program... encourage my dreams.

    • Also, I don't believe your going to take a $4 product off the market. Why is it so cheap in the first place?

    • Your "Wannabe Entrepreneur" signage doesn't give me any confidence in your abilities...

    • Your bullets are not specific - simply saying that you're going to teach me how to become a "wildly successful affiliate marketer" is too vague. Get specific!

    • Use more sub-headlines that are INTERESTING. You're up against some pretty short attention spans, so you should get the point across quickly, even if people just scan your copy.

    That's a start

    Dean
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  • Profile picture of the author Mike Baker
    Thanks very much for the feedback Dean. I'll certainly look those points over and try and do some re-writing, but this copy writing thing is not my cup of tea as you can see.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dean Jackson
    No worries Mike. I'm sure you'll see a good bump if you put them into use

    Dean
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  • Profile picture of the author Johnny12345
    Hi Mike,

    Your copy is extremely generic. You've got to differentiate your offer from the rest. How is your product better or different? You've got to be clear and specific about your benefits.

    Another big problem is that you have no proof elements. Why should people take your advice? What have your results been? What expertise or credibility do you possess?

    Oh... and the odd color of your headline is somehow making me sleepy. That's bad. Use red, DARK blue, or black.

    In a nutshell, you need to cover all the essential elements of persuasion.

    Regards,

    John
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  • Profile picture of the author BrianMcLeod
    Mike,

    I don't say this to be a d__k. There's an opportunity here.

    You've been a pretty tough critic on some of the WSO's
    that you've bought or run across before - I've read them.

    I'm not taking sides - what I'm saying is that YOU are on
    the other side of the glass now.

    You need to deliver what you'd be demanding in somebody
    else's thread. More specifics... more details. MORE.

    As you've experienced, attracting people's attention...

    - gaining their interest in what you've got...

    - stoking that interest into a burning desire to experience the benefits you're promising...

    - then finally convincing them to log into paypal and take action...

    It's not as simple as the peanut gallery imagines, or is it?

    Could it be that your desire not to piss off the cynics has completely kneecapped your ability to SELL to those who'd buy?

    Could you quickly REFOCUS what you're offering and deliver on the promise?

    I have no idea whether you can or can't - but some of the folks that catch the most heat from the gripers, whiners, dreamers and schemers absolutely could.

    Noodle.

    Brian
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