Copywriting Game - Sell It in 250 Words or Less

Do you want a pet that's so adorable, you could just eat it right up?

Think of this image next time you're in the voting booth and after you puke, leave without voting because they're all just like this bird.

18 words. Persuasive? Not sure. But it works for me.

Gives happy smiles to hungry children.

- Alex

"Grow your own Thanksgiving Dinner in a few minutes! Just add water and worthless plant matter!"

I love you Ken. You've got the idea. (115 words)

Now the rest of you, follow suit...

AWESOME!!! I'll pop by later and have a go...but thanks for the laugh Ken!!!

Do you delight in the rare and exotic?

Wild Game Fowl of the Month Club

Each month you'll receive a delicious handpicked selection of an American state game fowl delivered to your door.

Tender and succulent, 100% organic wild game fowl are the perfect pairing with wine and cause for conversation at any dining event.

Sample selections include:

• Alabama - Wild Turkey
• Tennessee - Bobwhite Quail
• South Dakota - Pheasant
• California - Mountain Grouse
• Delaware - Blue Hen Chicken
• Arizona - Zuni duck

Wild game fowl are a rare delicacy and typically come at considerable expense but for a limited time you can enjoy our Club Sampler for only $14.95(Plus S&H).

Note: These are wild (not farm raised) and supplies are limited. Act now to secure your order and start enjoying these rare delights today.

May I hire you as my copy writer ;D

Elegance, Beauty, Such Majesty..The Queen of the Farm, a Pet, a Special Treat. Bring Her Home And Enjoy The Highlight of Thanksgiving With The Family!

Got the headline in..Will come back later to finish the short copy. For the meantime gotta run..

HONEY I TOLD YOU NOT TO EAT THAT CHICK!

The Recap..
TIME: 5 Mins Ago..
The Greatest Dread of Our Times....
[Ring... Ring...]

SHOCKED? THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU!
Switch to Turkeys. Its Good For You:

• Be chicken-prison-proof! Don't let your "Loved One" Get Detained At the Airport Because of Chicken Flu!
  
• Lean Meat = Lean Body. You've seen the Tubeway adverts!
  
• Be treated like a Rock Star on your next trip to country of Turkey! Folks love turkey eaters there...

A Full Year's Supply Includes:

• Ranch to House In 24 Hours or Less - We'll send you 2 freshly slaughtered turkeys every week... that's 52 weeks a year!
  
  
• Idiot Proof - Can't cook? No Problem! With our 26 Step-by-Step HQ Recipe Videos by Mordon Pamsey the 3 Michelin Star Chef; your friends and family will be licking their fingers in no time!
  
  
• Free Shipping - Unlike our competitors, we use the best Mars certified refrigerated courier service in the country; which insures that the moisture content of those turkey legs stay intact!
  
  
• Prizes Every Week - Each week 10 lucky draw winners get an all inclusive trip to the Slaughtering House!

To Your Health,
Saif [The Original Turkey Farmer]

P.S.: I'm available for hire after finishing my turkey dinner!

Wingsuit- It lets you @#$%ing fly.

Please send your check or money order to:

Daedalus Clothing
123 Easy Sell Street
Awesometown, US 12345

How about a little Google Adwords copy:

Going on the Chicken Coop Clickbank Theme...

Build Your Own Turkey Coop!

Turkeys are one of the most profitable poultry birds on the market. Or perhaps you just need a friend. Turkeys are great companions too.

Either way, your turkey is going to need a great Turkey Coop.

And you don't want to hire some so-called professional when you can...Build it YOURSELF.

SAVE THOUSANDS of Dollars.

After you have mastered building your own backyard Turkey Coop, turn around and apply those skills building Turkey Coops for your Friends and future Customers.

There Are BIG $$ in Turkey Coops.

Click Here to Get Your Turkey Coop Plans (Only $27)...

Would not bother with this one.
Not many people BUYING live turkeys
so that makes it a waste of time.

Even those who are buying live ones
intend to have it become a meal,
so this is simply the wrong photo.

But you guys can have fun wondering
why even the best copy won't actually
perform for you.

Well THAT ONE you'd need to only sell to people in Australia
where Heinz has the #1 selling baked bean and sells less than
10,000 bottles of ketchup per year and because in North America
Heinz means Ketchup.

My competency in sales and copy extends to my awareness that
I probably could not write localized copy for Australians because
I do not know the local lingo and expressions well enough to be
sure my words are effective and won't insult anyone.

wut i'm sayin' is ..... I would not be as stupid as the Harvard Grads
at Chevrolet who took the #1 selling car in North America ( Chevy Nova )
and spent a billion dollars to launch it in South America where everyone
spoke Spanish.

Unfortunately, they did not sell a single car after about 6 months of TV ads.

As it turns out, in Spanish, "Nova" means "No go" "Doesn't Work" "Crappy" etc.

So - anyone selling Heinz baked beans and who is not in Australia - good luck to you.
Anyone writing the copy who is not Australian will also have difficulty and possibly
cause LOSS of sales.

Sorry to rain on the parade - but - there are a few pretty important points to it all:

1 Good copy begins with understanding the target.
and
2 Fight battles you can win. ( don't sell what nobody is buying (here))
and
3 Do no harm. ( Advertising this in North America would actually COST Heinz money
through LOSS from depositioning them as the #1 Ketchup with brand confusion )

ANY "copywriter" who bothered to post copy failed at at least one of the above
and perhaps that is why they have time to post so often here on WF ( ?? )
Something to think about.

What a great funny thread. Thanks for the laughs.

Tina:
That's some funny stuff girl

Attention: All Campers who have woken up cold


Dear camper.

I got so tired and ticked off with going camping with the family and waking up just freezing. I would sleep terribly and wake up like a bear that got his canine busted off.

If you are anything like me you know how frustrating that can be. Well I have good news! Through months of investigation ,and trials We have found the secret to that camping experience we all long for. Nice warm cuddly restful sleep you could be in a blizzard and not even feel it. Now that is powerful!

Introducing....


-WD

@Refund
do you understand this is for fun?

Lighten up pal life is short

Only 1 in 87 people answered yes when asked if they could clean a live turkey.

Why Am I sharing this with you?

Because after years of living surrounded by grocery stores and expensive appliances...

I didn't know squat when it came to living off the land at my uncles wilderness acreage.

None of my fancy education or even years of "being a camper" showed me how to truly live off the land.

Now you might think this was no big deal...

But once you discover how to live off the land -

The anxiety...the insecurity and fear of not being able to get through life's tough times dissolves overnight.

You feel free, stronger and capable of taking on any challenge. Your life becomes more meaningful.

My great uncle - a life long farmer, professional animal tracker and backwoods survival expert put together the greatest wilderness survival / self-reliance program in the world.

He'll share with you:

• How to survive on any wilderness terrain without ANYTHING ON YOU (Even without clothes!)

• 100% Foolproof ways to track, catch and clean any animal from squirrel to bear any time of the year

• PLUS your complete guide to living off the land - from building your own house to growing your own food.

And so much more!

You'll get 32 DVDs and 578 pg manual
for a low limited time "test the market" special of $167 +s/h

I guess my first contribution was too racy... Judge for yourself... See it here...

Following is my new contribution:







When you finally grew to adulthood and got your first job, "Hope" had left her vocabulary, as the only word she could substitute was "Relief" that you had finally moved out of her basement....





Having heard rumors that you had found a girlfriend and got engaged, your mother felt more "Relief" that someone else would finally take responsibility for you and your wasted life...

Do you remember your mom's surprise and despair when you gave her a grandbaby of her own?





Then your mom was never told why your wife left you...





Or why you and your mom received Christmas cards for the last 25 years that charted the growth of your son, with images like this:





Ah The Memories...

Your mom passed on a couple years ago...

The nurse had said it was strange... Your mom was heard to say as she passed on, "D-E-A-T-H, Oh what a 'relief' it is..."

Then you lost your job, and now you make peanuts "writing code" for customers on Fiverr...


We Know Times Are Tight, But May We Recommend...

Stepping up to:




Not only does it taste better, but it is also cheaper than what you have been eating for the last two years...








.

LOL Bill, you've got a good one here. Convert it to video and it might go viral.