Please Critique My First Draft
So I would be glad if you guy can give me some advice about my first draft.
Many things to be improve for sure.
Here is the link
p.s. fierce critique is welcomed
editlease look at my second draft instead. The first draft is there for reference only
Always looking for badass direct-response copywriters. PM me if we don't know each other and you're looking for work.
Always looking for badass direct-response copywriters. PM me if we don't know each other and you're looking for work.
Webmaster - Friends In Business
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Webmaster - Friends In Business
http://www.friendsinbusiness.com/board1
http://www.friendsinbusinessblog.com
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