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Your reviews of my salespage...Your honesty is priceless

by derek_thomas
3 replies
Hello to all my fellow warriors...

Time and time again your help has proven invaluable. I just want to say thank you so much.

I need your opinions once again. I just created a salespage for a product I just created in the weight loss niche. I was hoping to get some reviews - brutal honesty please - on both my overall design and my copy.

Understanding that the only way to truly know its effectiveness is to test, test, test, I still wanted to get your opinions. The links are not active, but you can visit the site below for an overview:

Quick and Easy Diets - The Seven Secrets To Quick And Easy Diets

What is good about it?
What might you change?
Would it make you want to pull out your credit card?
Do I make good selling points?
Is that a good selling price?

I know you are all so busy, but if you could take the time I'd really appreciate it.

Take care!
#honesty #priceless #reviews #salespage #salespageyour
  • Profile picture of the author James A. Miller
    You're introducing the product in your 2nd paragraph. That's way too quick. Build some rapport first, tell a story, make other people interested in you, make them excited and just then introduce the product.

    I liked "Would you rather spend that $11.95 on a couple of Big Mac combos, or spend it on the keys to better heath and happiness for you and your whole family?" It's strong and could be the entire P.S.

    You need a stronger call to action. "Don't wait a minute to order at this low price!" is basically all you have. Be sure to tell them exactly what to do: "take out your credit card and click the green order button now."

    Skip "we" and use your name and establish your credentials first.

    Testimonials should have photos. That's a weight loss product after all.
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    • Profile picture of the author theshkay89
      i just dont feel it..it doesnt have a good enough usp,headline isnt pulling..copy is waaaaay too short,credibility and beleivability factors are missing..you have links in the copy that brings the reader out of the copy,the bonuses doesnt seem like real worthy bonuses,etc,etc,etc...

      seems like you did your own copy,think you should outsource it to someone better.even a 500 dollar copywriter(thats like the lowest of the lowest for a passable copy guy) will do a thousand times better job mate..

      the fatloss niche is a competitive niche and you need to develop a real significant usp for your niche which is also emotional to the consumer.
      (e.g fatloss from a natural bodybuilder,fatloss from a celebrity trainer,fatloss as done by the ancient spartans,etc,etc)..


      you need to get a proper usp and product done before a good copy guy can weave their magic.


      two things you can do now

      1)Get a good copywriter;i am leaning towards someone who can weave a story around the usp;i have seen kevin rogers clickbank copy and one he did for a fatloss and they are quite brilliant;get him if you can afford him.

      2)if you want to do your own copy,prepare to focus on learning it and practicing it for at least 6 months before you become passable.

      recommended resource for learning

      -John Carlton's Kickass Copywriting Secrets

      -Bencivenga Bullets and his other stuff

      -Gary Halbert's stuff(including his letters)

      -get a huge swipe file of the top selling fatloss products and other competitive niches,dissect them and see how they work,practice practice practice..

      -Get a mentor(Jay white,Vinny comes to mind) to turbo charge your copy skills
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      • Profile picture of the author MaskedMarketer
        Originally Posted by James A. Miller View Post

        You're introducing the product in your 2nd paragraph. That's way too quick. Build some rapport first, tell a story, make other people interested in you, make them excited and just then introduce the product.
        I agree.

        If it looks like your "trying to sell" something, your results won't be like they can be. A rule of persuasion is- people resist being persuaded- or something like that.

        thats like saying- People LOVE to buy- but HATE to be sold. Its true.

        The stories you use can put unconscious associations in there mind and you make them WANT your product. The more you sound like an ad, the worse off your are- just my opinion anways.
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        "One Man's Ceiling is Another Man's Floor        "

        "I Pay Less Attention to What Men Say. I Just Watch What They Do."
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