Mysterious conversion drop - can you figure it out?

by issac 12 replies
Hi folks,
I've got a website, Omega 3 Secrets - Uncover the secrets of Omega 3, designed as a direct-response campaign.

MY primary key phrase for now is "what is omega 3".

I'm able to get a ~5% CTR to my squeeze page, which then itself converts at 10% into subscribers. I've also asked subscribers what they want to get out of their free report (the opt-in freebie) and they've confirmed they want more info on Omega 3

So far so good. Not awesome by a long shot, I guess, but it's certainly viable traffic.

The signup feeds into a 7-day autoresponder series. My click rates from those emails go from 25% click-rate in the first email (36% open rate) down to a 5% click through rate by the last one (17% open rate) with an overall unsubscribe rate of 1% over the whole week.

So far, still good.

Then I get to the sales page - Omega 3 Secrets - Uncover the secrets of Omega 3

This is linked to (and clicked on) over the autoresponder series, and is also displayed after intial signup with a small box confirming the subscription.

But the sales rate here sucks. Less than 0.2% of the subscribers buy.

I've gone over the copy with 2 copywriters (maybe I didn't use good copywriters, or maybe they were good but just couldn't crack this particular salesletter, but there was never any improvement), and I'm at wits end.

I don't consider myself an expert copywriter by far, but I managed to get everything up to the sales letter just fine (and have several other info products that sell MUCH better)...

Any ideas of what the heck I'm doing that's so wrong?
#copywriting #conversion #drop #figure #mysterious
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  • Profile picture of the author sanjaypande
    Hi Isaac,
    There are many things that need to be answered before you can get any conversion tips such as traffic sources (search -> landing page, PPC -> landing page, endorsed (affiliate) -> landing page etc).

    Before even going there, I looked at both your squeeze page and your sales page and its not compelling enough.

    The squeeze page is way too scant (not enough words) and the sales page headline doesn't really invite me in (or pull me into the copy).

    I looked at your copy and even though its well written, there are no emotions in it.

    The offer is weak.

    Remember stellar copy + weak offer will do nothing for you.

    Strengthen your offer first, then strengthen your copy.

    You need to convince me to part with $27 of hard earned money to get this information. Why should I?

    On another note, focus more on the ROI of your campaign than your conversion stats. They are meaningless without money being attached to them.

    If you are profitable (or breakeven) on the front-end even with an extremely low conversion rate, it may be worth it.
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  • Profile picture of the author Hans Klein
    You've got a lot of issues, but two big questions you need to answer are:

    * Why do I care about Omega 3? If you do answer this, it's buried in the copy.

    Use studies and expert quotes to back-up your claims.

    * Why is your information different than what I can find on Wikipedia, WebMd, or otherwise get for free very easily?

    For example... you write:

    >>> here is a very real risk that you may have ingested a fair amount of toxins, including >>> PCBs and Mercury, which are in no uncertain terms Bad For You.

    Find a credible source that explains this and tease this kind of information much earlier.

    -Hans
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  • Profile picture of the author Raydal
    Even without looking at your copy I can tell you that your
    prospects are looking for FREE information and are not
    in a buying mood.

    I totally agree with Hans.

    -Ray Edwards
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  • Profile picture of the author max5ty
    I really couldn't find a sales letter -- I went to your "sales letter page" and read an article...but couldn't find any attempt at sales going on.

    You need to grab your reader by the neck and take them down...start choking them out until they tap out on your buy button.

    What happens if I don't take omega 3?

    Do my teeth fall out?

    Does my hair fall out?

    Goodness, let me know!

    And what's up with those toxins?

    Am I going to die?

    Will my kids be born with flippers?

    Will I start talking gibberish?

    You say you've got some benefits, good lord man, what are they?

    Did your blood pressure drop by 200 points?

    Did you avoid a quadruple heart bypass?

    What's up?

    You're letting your reader yawn their way through your article -- who would see a need to buy anything?

    Heck, maybe I'll just wait till later -- I don't see any real need to take action now.

    I'd suggest you look through this forum and hire a "real" copywriter to put a letter together for you that starts getting results.
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    • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
      Yeah, Hans nailed it: differentiation.

      Without it, you're just one more grain of sand on the beach of sameness.

      And what's with "Isaac G"? Give your full name... readers think you're hiding something.

      Alex
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    • Profile picture of the author Mark Andrews
      Banned
      Originally Posted by max5ty View Post

      You say you've got some benefits, good lord man, what are they? ... You're letting your reader yawn their way through your article -- who would see a need to buy anything?

      Heck, maybe I'll just wait till later -- I don't see any real need to take action now.
      You talk a lot about the pain (possible dangers of Omega 3) but you don't provide as Max said any benefits.

      And as Hans brought up, where is the differentiation in this product? What makes this product uniquely different to what a simple Google search can turn up?

      Judging by this article (for it's certainly not sales copy by any stretch of the imagination) what's on the inside for $27 is going to be practically useless to anyone.

      You might have the best Omega 3 product information on the web for all I know but if so, this sales letter isn't reaching into your target audience emotions at all. Far from it.

      Put yourself into your target buyers shoes and then read this (your article) out loud to yourself. Would you buy this product after reading this excuse for sales copy? Precisely.

      On speaking to the heart of the customer, David Ogilvy (famous copywriter) put it this way...

      “If you can’t turn yourself into your customer, you probably shouldn’t be in the ad writing business at all.”

      And...

      “Good advertising does not just circulate information. It penetrates the public mind with desires and belief.”

      And on the real purpose of ads or advertising, he had this to say...

      “Before you can have a share of market, you must have a share of mind.”

      Think about that one and what it really means. Now ask yourself - if you've got it?

      What do you think?

      Best,


      Pete Walker
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  • Profile picture of the author issac
    Thanks for the feedback so far. I guess at some level, I'm afraid to pull the "you're gonna die" card too hard, but I get what you're saying, and I could feel my own heart pounding when I read Max's response. I'll give it a major haul and see what I can do.

    My goal is just to break even on the front-end for now.

    I'd be very open to working with someone here - I do still have budget to put into the project.
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  • Profile picture of the author max5ty
    Good points Pete.

    And speaking of Pete, I know he's usually busy, but if you can grab some of his time...he'll have your sales rockin' you to easy street quick.
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    • Profile picture of the author Mark Andrews
      Banned
      Originally Posted by max5ty View Post

      Good points Pete.

      And speaking of Pete, I know he's usually busy, but if you can grab some of his time...he'll have your sales rockin' you to easy street quick.
      Thanks Max

      It will however depend on the product itself on the backend.

      I'm turning away at least 10 inquiries a day presently.
      I absolutely insist on high quality products only.

      So we'll have to see whether or not his product is up to par.

      But thanks for the recommendation - you know I appreciate it.

      Best,


      Pete Walker
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  • Profile picture of the author kcfried
    Pete, I love Bencivenga's bullet about the product being mightier than the pen. Smart move on your part.

    Not a bad exclusivity play either... :-) - Just getting rolling in the forum. Looking forward to contributing

    Isaac you may want to google Bencivenga Bullets if you're looking at sharpening your copy writing "chops".
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    • Some great feedback from people there and I'm in a lot of agreement regards the sales piece itself. It's got no kick, no intrigue and no real emotional hook.

      I won't bombard you with more thoughts and theories - as there's plenty here to go with - but my very first reaction to this was to lose any mention of 'Omega 3' up top. Might sound weird, but instead I'd concentrate on establishing an emotional reason for the potential customer to read on before getting to the detail of Omega 3 itself.

      Hope that helps and hope you get some improved results.
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  • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
    Issac, you are off target.

    Get the sales letter written by the God of copywriting
    and send it to your present incoming list and your results
    will be dismal.

    They are researchers, not buyers.

    Go get buyer keywords...then send them to a sales letter.

    Best,
    Ewen
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