"tactical" copy writing

12 replies
I make tactical gear and market it on my site strikehardgear.com (can't post urls)

This is a fragmented, good ol' boy, traditional marketing methods industry and I'd like to grab a segment of it by making marketing one of my competitive edges. I'm working through SEO, back linking, a free report etc but really need help with copy writing on the product pages.

In a word my copy sucks but then again most copy in this industry sucks. The main approach seems to be a basic product description. I'd like to liven things up with better copy thats produces sales and also provides SEO benefit.

I've read many books and websites about copywriting but realize its not my strength. Anyone here have an interest in this niche and willing to take a look at making it better?
#copy #tactical #writing
  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    Originally Posted by GettingBetterAtIt View Post

    I make tactical gear and market it on my site strikehardgear.com (can't post urls)

    This is a fragmented, good ol' boy, traditional marketing methods industry and I'd like to grab a segment of it by making marketing one of my competitive edges. I'm working through SEO, back linking, a free report etc but really need help with copy writing on the product pages.

    In a word my copy sucks but then again most copy in this industry sucks. The main approach seems to be a basic product description. I'd like to liven things up with better copy thats produces sales and also provides SEO benefit.

    I've read many books and websites about copywriting but realize its not my strength. Anyone here have an interest in this niche and willing to take a look at making it better?
    You can post links. Create a signature file and put your link there. You'll get a lot more responses. Good luck.
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  • Profile picture of the author GettingBetterAtIt
    Thanks for the siggy tip.
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  • Profile picture of the author David Maschke
    Hey,

    Put your description of the product at the top, and the price and add to cart under the description.

    Your typical customer is probably going to be military, former military, or a cop.

    That means your typical customer is accustomed to extreme physical activity. Even if your customer is a fat couch potato, he'll see himself as a navy seal. So that part is covered.

    Let's take your ak 47 vest for example...

    Write about how easy it is to run, jump, and roll around wearing that thing without it slowing them down. Tell them how easy it is to access the magazines and get them in their rifles quickly.

    Plus, those kinds of guys have really big ego's. (almost as big as the ego's in this forum.) So it'll be really easy to get into their heads.

    Let them know how much their friends will admire them for their high speed, low drag equipment.

    You need to capture email addresses. Offer a free report on how to be a world class sniper with the rifles, or how to disassemble the rifles quickly, or something.

    And most of all, you must let your visitors know that you are one of them. Let them know that you are the Biggest, Baddest, Meanest son-of-a-bitch that ever walked this earth. Respect is a must in that market. That will help answer the question why they should buy from you.
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  • Profile picture of the author RobBritt
    I agree with the above. talk about benefits the buyers may relate to. When you've been out in the bush on recon you can appreciate well thought out gear. When you are chasing a perp down an alley you'll want the quick and easy access to your Glock; knowing it'll be there when you need it... etc.

    As a vet, I know the value of light-weight functionality. Stressing that sort of thing in "action situations" probably will get someone to think.. hmmm, I could use that.

    And this is just my observation on what I prefer; if I don't see the beginning of the description without starting to use the scroll bar, I might not know to scroll down.. If it would be peeking above the fold, that might entice me to read it.. my two cents, which may not be worth that much.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mr. Subtle
    If you want to know how to do it right then get the physical "Cheaper Than Dirt" catalog. For some reason their online catalog leaves a lot of the copy (describing each product) out.
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  • Profile picture of the author colmodwyer
    Great opportunity for DRAMATIC DEMONSTRATION.

    A month or so ago I read a news article where a manufacturer of bullet-proof glass stood behind his product and had someone shoot at him. They filmed the stunt obviously.

    That's a bit ballsy, but a good example of dramatic demonstration.

    If your USP is ruggedness then how can you prove that in an entertaining way?

    On a side note, I think your site could be re-designed too. It doesn't seem well optimized at all.

    For example, I'm just now realizing you specialize in Russian weapons. Seems like that should be one of the first things a visitor sees.

    Test idea would be to have "Choose Your Weapon" front and center.

    Disclaimer, I'm not a designer.

    Colm
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  • Profile picture of the author BrianMcLeod
    Building on what Colm just said...

    Ever watch Ultimate Warrior or whatever that show is called?

    It's the one where they take classic warriors throughout history and scientifically demonstrate HOW their chosen weapons and attacks damaged the human body.

    They use both a dummy made of some kind of approximation of human flesh and bone, as well as simple 3D animations to demonstrate exactly how a Sumurai's Katana slices you, leaving only a dangling hunk of neck skin to hold your neatly decapitated head on your body.

    Think about how so many DRTV product-banger spots show you a quick "cross-section" of the ______'s amazing ______ technology that ________.
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    • Profile picture of the author Mr. Subtle
      If I were to redesign the website I'd go for a darker, grungier, eroded look... like a dark concrete wall texture, eroded stencil font for your name (sorry didn't have time to render that)... something along the lines of my (extremely rushed) concept below:



      The copy above the fold would also have to be rewritten.
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  • Profile picture of the author GettingBetterAtIt
    AWESOME! You gotta pm me
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  • Profile picture of the author David Maschke
    If we were to boil everything down to right and wrong, I would
    say Mcleod and Colmodwyer got it right, and I failed the test

    The proof element should be the first knee jerk reaction of a good copywriter, right after the headline.

    Not a lesson I shall soon forget.
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