My first Opt-In Copy page

Di,

White text on a background of any color is a known conversion killer. (It's harder to read.)

Also, question headlines generally don't work as well as benefit headlines.

Try something like this,


(The headline should be larger than the rest of the text on the page.)

Alex

I'd prefer a stronger headline. Maybe something like...

Free Report: Fire Your Designer Today And NEVER Wait On A Design Again

Then I'd put in a put in a sub heading...

The days of overpriced, late, unreliable designers are over. Never pay for design work again.

In the FREE REPORT I teach you industry secrets that will let you...

- Save you money by showing how you can design your own headers
- Eliminate time sucking communication with incompetent designers allowing you to create headers in less than 5 minutes

ps... If you still think my price is too high, let me throw in the following bonuses for signing up for this FREE REPORT...

- 10 professionally designed headers that are plug and play simple for all your needs.
- 10 professionally designed header backgrounds that do all the "creative" stuff for you.

Enter your email address in the form over there ----->
and you'll get access to all this for FREE!


I'd put all that on the left of a page - Opt-in form on the right, Arrows pointing to the opt-in box.

Put it all on a page that requires no scrolling.

I would be more concerned that you are promoting graphics yet the site looks like a 90's angelfire site!

Maybe I am just seeing the site in a state of flux! I hope so.

As I dont think even a headline 1,000,000% better will help until you sort out the design, being that this is for graphics.

Ashley

This is going to come off as mean, and I'm not trying to be, but there is no other way of saying this.

You are selling a graphic design course, but the design on your website looks very bad. Aside from the white text looking bad, my eyes instantly skip over the text, I had to push myself to read it, and I'm only doing it for the critique. The body is not centered (at least on my browser, which is Safari), and it is awkwardly on the left. You tell people they will be able to make great and stunning headers, and your header design looks rather bland.

Actually, most of the text is bland. You should check out other opt-in pages and see the type of fonts they use, because those fonts really sell you. Your fonts, I find it difficult to take you seriously. I also do not like how the opt-in section is a large white box that completely clashes with the website design itself.

I haven't even gotten on the copy yet, but you really need to spruce up this design. This is especially important, because this is for graphic designing. It would be like me saying I am a copyeditor, but using awkward sentences and obvious spelling errors on my website.

I would correct a few of the first sentences you have, I would also make them into a list with X's near them. For example, "Quality not great?" sounds a little awkward, as does "Paid Your Money and They Vanished?"

When you mention "Design Your Own! Quickly! Easily!" there is a problem. Prior to this section, you never tell me what I will be designing. I only find out about a paragraph later that you mean headers. At the very least, make it "Design Your Own Headers!"

I also find the what your report section a little weak. Tighten it up and really give me some benefits that will make be cry with joy, that will make me understand exactly why I need your ebook now.

Thank you so much Martin and KimboJim.

I appreciate you taking the time to evaluate it for me.

You are not mean KimboJim. It is exactly the type of constructive critisism I was looking for. I know that this is just the beginning and the only way I can learn is to put it out there and get the feedback.

Will be working on the design as discussed above with Ashley

Thanks again.

Di

Oh my Martin.

That is so simple and yet so effective. Thank you! Back to the drawing board.

It's an interesting comment you made about targeting newbies. I had not actually clarified that in my head, but it is exactly who I am aiming at. The more experienced IM's have the money to outsource their graphics. Us 'cash-strapped' newbies don't.

Thanks
Di

Hi

I have updated it with some of the suggestions mentioned above. I know it still needs work but I will work on it again tomorrow.

Thank you all once again for the time you took to help me.

Di

Hi Diana,

Ashley is right. The sample headers you have are pretty bad.

So... first thing I'd do is remove them.

The second thing is you need to spend some money to get better background templates from a graphic designer.

Make results comparable... or even better than what you get with a competing paid header generator.

-Hans

Thanks Hans,

I have taken them out for now. Will work on it later during the week.

Di

Just looked at the revised page, looking a lot better

Good job.

If you are targeting newbies I would probably add that
the bonuses you are giving them will allow them to shortcut
the process even further (if that is what they can do).

I think all that is left is to center the whole page,
then center the headline and you will be doing fine.

Ashley

I caught this a bit late so it looks like the changes that have been recommended were implemented already.

1. You're trying to sell graphic headers. . . but you don't have one in the opt in page. Not even for a heading on the page itself let alone a screen shots of multiple templates/options to choose from.

2. How long is the tutorial? If it's not too long, don't just say "in this tutorial" say in this " 6 minute tutorial". Convenience your prospects by giving them the power to create headers for free on their own for the rest of their lives.

3. How much do graphic designers charge for a graphic header? Remind the readers they don't have to pay that amount here. Here they get it free, and they never have to hire another graphic designer again.

4. Is simple the right word? Is that what people are looking for in their headers? Headers are often the first thing people see. . . what qualities do your prospects look for in something that is the gateway between browsing more on the page or not. Is it simplicity? It very well may be. I don't know, but it's worth doing a little research.

5. The bonus section could be tightened up both with the lead in and the bullets. It's kind of like "Look at all the things you get!" and then "Here's two of them. . . couldn't think of a third bullet." Try and dig another benefit or bonus from your offer and insert it. Odd number of bullet points tend to do better. Then you can take the "All you do is change the title" and put it after the fact to highlight how easy it is.

White space is good but it's better if you have something to frame it with. I feel that that if you do end up putting a header it could solve the problem, but a border of some type would help as well.

Hope that helps!

Good luck.

It looks like you've made great progress and there are some fantastic suggestions that I will review the next time I create an opt-in page.

One thing that I haven't seen addressed is your button text. I don't think too many people want to 'Subscribe', however they would love 'FREE Instant Access'.

That's a very subtle conversion influencer overlooked by many people that causes their would-be opt-ins to hesitate and leave.

The button text should be fairly obvious in the html. Just find where it says 'Subscribe' and replace it with 'FREE Instant Access!' and see what happens. You can always change it back if you change the wrong thing.

Hi Diana,

This is the second time I'm visiting your opt-in page.

From a customer POV, your biggest flaw is the design. It looks unprofessional and it's hard to focus on any single element.

From a copywriting POV, it's too "cute". I suggest going with a more classic approach.
"How To Create Stunning Graphic Headers In Five Minutes Or Less".

Also, the example / sample you gave is not very compelling.

As far as the bullets, I suggest making them positive (You can do this without learning Photoshop or Gimp).

Consider adding a reason why (why are you giving this away) and a more compelling call to action (you're not saying what is the ultimate benefit of creating headers for your website).

Razvan