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Can you please have a quick look at my opt-in landing page?...

by IMoptimizer
11 replies
...and let me know if you think it makes an impact:

STOP STRUGGLING & START EARNING MASSIVE PROFITS ONLINE!

I have chosen a hybrid video+text model for this opt-in.

Just let me know what you think?

I'm thinking of testing video + opt-in form ONLY, with no text or only the headline copy.

Any kind of feedback and advice is appreciated.

Peter
#landing #optin #page #quick
  • Profile picture of the author Karson
    I would say its pretty good.

    It is defiantly targeted at newbs.

    The video voice is pretty powering, I might prefer a normal voice I could relate with. You can get voice overs at fiverr.

    You may try another method thats pretty effective too.

    Make a informative video then use a content locker halfway through.
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  • Profile picture of the author TopKat22
    I can't exactly put my finger on it. Maybe it is just because I don't like video, I can read a lot a glance and usually bounce right off pages that have video on them. My mentors say no videos or graphics necessary on a squeeze page.

    That being said, maybe if the headline grabbed my attention better I would have at least scrolled down to below the video.
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    Answer this question in your copy...

    "Why should I listen to you? What credibility do you have that makes it worth my while to take your advice?"

    Everyone's pushing the offer you have made. You've gotta do something to at least elevate yourself above the masses.

    -Daniel
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  • Profile picture of the author IMoptimizer
    Thank you so much for your feedback.

    There is a lot of marketing sense in each of the 3 replies I got and I really appreciate it.
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  • Profile picture of the author jbtooloo
    Good work!
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  • Profile picture of the author Hans Klein
    Yep... Daniel got the main issue.

    There's nothing special about the content you're offering.

    Who are you? Why don't the "Gurus" share these secrets? How did you discover them?

    On a short squeeze page, you might credentialize yourself very quickly. For instance, "Best-selling author reveals..." or "Former fortune 500 CEO reveals..." or the credibility might not be with you, but in the freebie, "Downloaded over 5,000 times."

    Moreover... your bullets are important. Right now, they're not teasing anything special or unique.
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    • Profile picture of the author IMBotz
      Your third bullet point is missing a 'to' how slash learning curve. And the video is well made.
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  • Profile picture of the author IMoptimizer
    Yes, indeed.

    I have updated the text part and added the paragraph about my authority on the subject matter.

    Thanks!
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  • Profile picture of the author Stephen Bray
    Quickly, and off the top of my head:

    As others have stated where's your proof?

    It could be that I'm English but I fancy the voice is just a little too over-produced and powerful.


    It also smacks of being a little sergeant-majorish. I felt like I'm being pushed around, a little, and I'm unsure I like it?

    Might it be better break down the 'procrastination'; and 'information overload' into their component behaviours so that people can relate to them more directly than by using these multi syllable terms early in the presentation? Describe the symptoms and then give the diagnosis as a set-up to use later.

    I think you use the word 'struggling' too many times in close succession - maybe this is for effect, but I'm unsure it works?

    As someone commented this is aimed at newbies, so I must ask does this market have 'a lot of people struggling to get ahead with their on-line business ideas'. Most newbs don't have 'ideas'. Instead they're looking for winning systems. It may be worth thinking more around this area?


    It would be better to say 'chances are you're suffering from at least two, of these problems. You may even be suffering with all of them?'

    I figure anyone who has listened this far has at least two problems, which sounds much more concrete than 'some of these problems'. You use some symptoms later in the presentation which is fine, and would then add variety to the pace and style.


    Maybe 'Have you changed your Internet business model many times, for the wrong reasons', could work better than your version. After all some people really have had to change their models several times just to stay in the game. Stating 'for the wrong reasons' makes it seem as if this is more complex than most realise and you know something more about it, rather than just to keep plugging away.


    Rather than 'enter your e-mail and 'start earning a massive income from your on-line business', I would say something like: 'Enter your e-mail right now and discover how to overcome each of the obstacles that prevent you from making substantial profits from your on-line business efforts.'

    Finally, I don't like the plank of wood across the road as a graphic. It seems too solid, and impenetrable and rather than agitate the problem, simply convey that the way is impassable. Maybe a gate, or some other kind of barrier would work better?


    I hope this helps,

    Stephen
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  • Profile picture of the author Increase Media
    Basically you just need to establish who you are and why anyone coming on the site should listen to you. Otherwise you in the same category as everyone else trying to sell make money online products.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dann Vicker
    Why not add a second opt-in box right at the bottom of your page. Should increase conversions a bit
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