5 replies
Hi all

I launched my 1st WSO last Saturday & nearly got the timing horribly wrong because the server I was using went phooey 12 hours before launch (some php fight somewhere between some plugins, my theme & the php version on the server).

The short of it was that I had to work through the night to get access & clone everything to a different host (which works great).

So I had very little time to think about the sales copy.

Now I've been at this game for a while - and even I can spot quite a few things *missing* (the copy doesn't have enough detailed benefits & there aren't yet enough testimonials for example - I'm working on that ).

Soooo, I would appreciate any copywriting experts to have a looky and give some feedback.

Understandably with the above, it has been converting at 8-9% (13% on some days according to the affiliate I guess) & that's a pity.

If you're a copywriting expert who loves to flex their wordsmithing skills, please do feedback some constructive suggestions on how to improve.

As I say, I can see plenty of things I've *not* done, but rather than just flailing around in semi-darkness, I thought it would be cool to find the guys & gals with the bright torches to guide me.

So here it is:

http://www.warriorforum.com/warrior-...g-youtube.html

Many thanks in advance for anyone who takes the time to illuminate the way forward.

Dez.
#sucks
  • Profile picture of the author BrianMcLeod
    Let's start at the top - that header sucks royally.

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  • Profile picture of the author Jon12345
    Subhead hard to read due to too spread drop shadow.

    Change subhead to: How to Get - Find & Grab too wordy

    The Offline Snatcher Method Will Show You Where to Find These Businesses On YouTube

    to ...

    The Offline Snatcher Method Shows You Where to Find These Businesses On YouTube

    Put modules into separate boxes for emphasis.

    Edit: BrainMcLeod suggestion for the win.
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