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New sales page with traffic

by cyber_wang
12 replies
Greetings warriors! I've a got a new sales page up selling an ebook I created. Link to the site is www dot diyscreenprintingpress dot com (sorry newbie warrior)

In the past month since creation, I've had 70+ visitors (through some seo efforts) but so far zero sales. I've tested the product on ebay and it sells, so i'm guessing it's the copy/overall page that isn't converting my visitors.

Looking for help with some suggestions/ constructive critiques on what i should do to proceed. Thanks in advanced!
#copywriting #landing page #page #sales #sales page #seo #traffic
  • Profile picture of the author Mark Andrews
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    • Profile picture of the author NickN
      I was absolutely demolished when I asked for a critique of my website about a week ago. So I think I'm qualified to give you a 'tiny' bit of advice.

      Firstly, the placement of "cheap" in your headline. It makes the press itself sound like it'll break after two uses.

      You could say something like "Learn how to build a 4-color printing press at home for just [insert amount]!"

      But... I would scrap the current headline format altogether. Say something about what the reader will gain from building his own screen printing press.

      With the current headline, readers will think, "OK, so I can build my own screen printing press. How will that benefit me?"

      That's why you want to answer the "What's in it for me?" question in your headline. Otherwise, your audience will lose interest and go back to playing Farmville.
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      • Profile picture of the author cyber_wang
        thanks nick! the headline was something that i've been looking at for a long time. It should definitely scream "benefits"
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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    Originally Posted by cyber_wang View Post

    Greetings warriors! I've a got a new sales page up selling an ebook I created. Link to the site is www dot diyscreenprintingpress dot com (sorry newbie warrior)
    Always good to know what you're allowed to do and not do. Create a sig file and put the link there. You'll get a lot more feedback.
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    • Profile picture of the author Steve The Copywriter
      Do what Nick says and replace the word "cheap" and use his other suggestions.

      I'm sure you've done your research...and know all about this niche.

      But is there a big enough market - to make some worthwhile money?

      Steve

      P.S. The reason I ask is 30 years ago I sold advertising on posters which were screen printed. I thought the technology must have moved on!

      Anyway I'm not a DIY person - and never will be - so I'm hoping you'll say the market is still huge. And you'll do very well.
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  • Profile picture of the author Sue McDonald
    I agree with Nick - the word "cheap" is not a good word here at all. It makes people think of an inferior product.

    When someone is thinking of purchasing your product, they want to know exactly what it will do for them and what benefits will it provide them.

    There are 3 parts to a good sales letter when selling a product.
    1. Tell them what you have
    2. Tell them how THEY will benefit from it
    3. How do they get it.

    That is what people want to know.
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  • Profile picture of the author maximus242
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  • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
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    Poster above (Maximus) - you REALLY need to learn the difference between "your" and "you're". You're completely missing the point with this product. Its a screen printing guide - specifically a 4 color set-up. Its not an I.M. product - so the same criteria doesn't apply. It should read more like an article in Popular Mechanics than "How to make a Million online - even if you're a complete Moron".

    So a perfectly acceptable heading would be - "How to make a 4-Color screen printing press at home" or even the name of the ebook - "How to build a 4-color 1-station screen printing press on a budget".

    Get rid of "So what are you waiting for?" and the spammy lines under it. Including the "Special Price".

    And for Gods sake don't use cornball lines like "the comfort of your own home".

    This advice from Maximus (since deleted I notice) is so patently wrong that it almost reads like parody -
    Basically if your going to try this as a biz op you do something like...

    begin with benefit about making money

    Move into how you did it via magic solution

    position screen printing as a magic solution

    present the problem: it costs money

    create pain about money

    show the magic solution of building their own

    destroy your competition

    tell them the product will save them money and give them their magic money solution, and how to order
    It needs more pics of the press being built and in use. And some of the better eBay feedback could be scattered throughout the text. Lines like "Outstanding. Built the 4-color. No problem. I am using it now. Works great!"

    Stack the page with information and it will sell itself.
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    • Profile picture of the author maximus242
      Originally Posted by The Copy Nazi View Post

      Poster above (Maximus) - you REALLY need to learn the difference between "your" and "you're". You're completely missing the point with this product. Its a screen printing guide - specifically a 4 color set-up. Its not an I.M. product - so the same criteria doesn't apply. It should read more like an article in Popular Mechanics than "How to make a Million online - even if you're a complete Moron".

      So a perfectly acceptable heading would be - "How to make a 4-Color screen printing press at home" or even the name of the ebook - "How to build a 4-color 1-station screen printing press on a budget".

      Get rid of "So what are you waiting for?" and the spammy lines under it. Including the "Special Price".

      And for Gods sake don't use cornball lines like "the comfort of your own home".

      This advice from Maximus (since deleted I notice) is so patently wrong that it almost reads like parody - It needs more pics of the press being built and in use. And some of the better eBay feedback could be scattered throughout the text. Lines like "Outstanding. Built the 4-color. No problem. I am using it now. Works great!"

      Stack the page with information and it will sell itself.
      As john caples put it "The most important thing to decide in your advertising is your appeal"

      What appeal he is going to go for is going to depend on his traffic.

      Whether he is going for people who are actively searching for solutions to getting a 4 color printing press or if hes going for a more general market.

      You can sell an affiliate training product to people actively looking for affiliate solutions or you can sell it to people as a solution to people looking to solve a problem: i.e. not having enough money. It depends on your traffic sources.

      If you paid any attention you would know that WHO you are trying to sell to is going to affect your promotion more than anything. What appeal you choose for your promotion has got to be based on

      WHAT THE MOTIVATIONS OF YOUR PROSPECT ARE

      If hes going for a very large general traffic base then saying something like make a 4 color printing press isnt going to have a lot of effect. Like I said before, if he is sending highly targetted traffic, then talking about making a 4 color screen printer works just fine.

      However, there are obvious limitations on the market size for this thing. So if he wanted to test more general traffic to make more money he would have to use a different lead.

      You have to base your advertising on what motivates your prospect - if the traffic isnt already motivated to get a 4 color screen printing press then you have to connect what they are motivated by with the product. Otherwise it wont sell.

      Like I said before, depends on the traffic source.

      If he is going for highly targetted keywords with a very limited market size he can go straight for the gut, obviously, do I really even have to say it?

      If he is going for larger traffic sources and the product is a hit, he can expand to people with larger problems that he can solve through his product. For example, people who want to start a small screen printing business - which is usually why they want a screen printer in the first place.

      Furthermore how do you expect him to stand out from the other options they could take:

      a. to buy a screen printer
      b. to buy an ebook from a competitor

      Well the first thing you need to do is appeal to the prospect. How? Greed. If they are actively looking for a screen printer then why buy his ebook instead of buying a screen printer? Well because it saves money. That is going to be the major reason WHY people are buying his book - is because they want to save money over buying one.

      So what should you put in your headline? The appeal about saving money.

      2 competitors go head to head.

      One says:

      How to make a 4-Color screen printing press at home

      The other:

      To Those Who Want A 4 Color Screen Printing Press At 1/12th The Cost

      Which one is gonna win? Since you're so smart Mal, care to do a test to prove what a wise ass you are?

      Maybe you should read Tested advertising methods once in a while to remind yourself that people buy based off of emotional appeals - and the stronger you can connect a method for satisfying an emotional appeal to your product - the easier it is to sell.

      How strong of an appeal is How to build a 4 color screen printer at home? Nothing except to those who are actively searching for that product. Once you have tapped that market your maxed out on your copy potential unless you move to broader appeals.

      If you actually take 1 minute to look at the prospect and WHY they want a 4 color screen printer - it usually is because they want it for their screen printing business to make money with screen printing services. And the reason why they want to do it themselves is to save money.

      So what do we have?

      2 appeals, Make more money, and save money. Only testing will show what is the best way to go. Different sources of traffic will probably respond differently to each one depending on what that prospect is motivated by.

      What it comes down to is tailoring your copy to your prospect based on THEM

      ***NOT***

      On your product. You should show the unique advantages your prospect will receive based on what they desire. Not based on shouting "Buy my product".
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      • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
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        You have no idea what you're talking about. And being abusive to me isn't helping your case. This is just plain childish -
        Since you're so smart Mal, care to do a test to prove what a wise ass you are?
        I happen to know a bit about this subject. Not only was I a hobbyist screen printer - mainly on rolls of fabric (Marimekko-style) but at one stage I took a job as a commercial screen printer - printing stickers, decals and large billboard posters - 4 color and more - using photo stencils.

        This offer is nothing to do with "make more money" or "save money" - thats not the appeal at all.

        You say
        As john caples put it "The most important thing to decide in your advertising is your appeal"
        - this appeals to the happy home hobbyist. This isn't a set-up a pro would use. Far from it. Yeah hobbyists might kid themselves they can make a few bucks printing T-shirts but the main attraction here is just a fun thing to do - an arty hobby.

        But know what? I couldn't be bothered arguing the toss with you.

        Merry Christmas. Hope Santa brings you "Tested Advertising Methods - Collectors Edition".

        BTW (not you Maximus) its pretty interesting what comes up when you Google "how to build a 4 color screen printer". Including http://www.instructables.com/id/Buil...rinting-Press/
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        • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
          cyber_wang, I kinda sorta get what Maximus is trying to offer as advice.

          Maximus was trying to zero in on what he called "the appeal." And I agree with you, Mal--the appeal has practically nothing to do with money.

          It's the old "does a person buy a drill because they want a drill? Or do they want a hole?"

          While the story could be propped up better, the copy begs for some saliva-generating reasons why 4-color screen printing is so awesome.

          The current copy is good if you're selling a commodity, but not a $25 info product.

          - Rick Duris


          PS: There are also some major problems with the picture. At first glance, it LOOKS way complicated. Intimidating. There's no human in the picture smiling, or actually using the product, or building the product. IF the picture is going to be above the fold, minimally my suggestions should be tested.
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          • Profile picture of the author Steve The Copywriter
            Now, now no need to be scrapping over screen - printing.

            It was difficult enough for me to get the sponge thing to glide properly when I had a shot at it.

            And I can remember getting soaked in ink - 30 years ago - when a printer let me have a go at doing one of my Ad posters.

            To answer my own question - there does still seem to be a market it. I'm surprised. I thought it would be all high tech now.

            As for the "appeal" - I reckon it's for hobbyists who want to make their own stuff.

            Or maybe sell some customized T shirts or whatever people desire.

            Good luck with the manual.

            It does make a change reading about a "real" product that's being going for ages.


            Steve
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        • Profile picture of the author maximus242
          Originally Posted by The Copy Nazi View Post

          You have no idea what you're talking about. And being abusive to me isn't helping your case. This is just plain childish - I happen to know a bit about this subject. Not only was I a hobbyist screen printer - mainly on rolls of fabric (Marimekko-style) but at one stage I took a job as a commercial screen printer - printing stickers, decals and large billboard posters - 4 color and more - using photo stencils.

          This offer is nothing to do with "make more money" or "save money" - thats not the appeal at all.

          You say - this appeals to the happy home hobbyist. This isn't a set-up a pro would use. Far from it. Yeah hobbyists might kid themselves they can make a few bucks printing T-shirts but the main attraction here is just a fun thing to do - an arty hobby.

          But know what? I couldn't be bothered arguing the toss with you.

          Merry Christmas. Hope Santa brings you "Tested Advertising Methods - Collectors Edition".

          BTW (not you Maximus) its pretty interesting what comes up when you Google "how to build a 4 color screen printer". Including Build a 4 Color T-Shirt Printing Press
          No you dont get it Mal. All of salesmanship comes down to connecting what people are already motivated by to your product. Products exist as a means of fulfilling desires.

          What people are motivated by comes down to who your market is. Which was my original question, who is he targeting and where is his traffic coming from?

          Furthermore, how do you expect to stand out from competitors? Good advertising must contain a unique proposition which shows why people should buy your products instead of the competition, instead of doing nothing, and instead of all the other ways of fulfilling the desire.

          If your targeting people on the warrior forum, will a straight statement pull nearly as well as demonstrating how they can earn a money with screen printing? Of course not

          If your targetting people at a screen printing hobby convention - is a straight statement going to pull? Of course.

          If you paid any attention at all, you would have known I said that WHAT appeal you use comes down to WHO you are sending your sales letter to. The list, the market, is more important than your copy.

          It comes down to who your traffic is, you cant just say "its this way" and it makes it so mal. It comes down to who his prospects are, and what they are motivated by.

          I would garner there are multiple sub-niches of people who are getting into screen printing as a business (which is a pretty big business as a industry) and people who are getting into it as a hobby. The fact is no one is right unless you know...

          Who your prospect is (aka WHERE is the traffic coming from) and what that specific prospect is motivated by. Then you have to connect the two.

          If his traffic is coming from a ezine on how to make money with screen printing, then showing the hobby side wont appeal

          If his traffic is coming from a ezine on screen printing hobby secrets then showing the money side wont appeal.

          Like really I have to explain all of this?!? What I was doing was offering him ways to test to expand his market size after he had more or less maxed out his traffic.

          There is no right answer mal, it comes down to who your list is and what they will respond to. This answer changes based off of your prospect - which is all salesmanship is. Finding what will motivate your prospect to buy, and demonstrating that you can deliver the motivation in a better way than all the other options, at a price they can afford.

          So what it comes down to is where your traffic is coming from is going to yield a different right answer. There is no absolute right appeal.

          It comes down to this:

          Trying to talk about stock investments to women interested in gardening wouldn't work well - but you could sell them the WSJ by showing them how 12 months of the journal will give them a greener garden, while helping their husband to secure their retirement.

          Yet if we followed the standard way the only appeal we could use would be to open with investments. We would be pigeon holed into only one option.If your prospects arent interested in investments then the copy will flop. But if you focus on what they want you can sell to people you never sold to before

          You dont talk about investments in a gardening magazine. You tailor your approach based off of what motivates your prospect - which is going to change depending on where you traffic comes from. "One size does not fit all in marketing"


          You can expand your sales by testing appeals to new markets. Its how you make more money than your competitors, by expanding into areas and market segments that other people have ignored.

          I was trying to show him ways to expand his market size after he had maxed out his traffic sources.

          Which is why I asked him where his traffic was coming from in the first place. I didnt tell him to start off with a biz op to everyone - I said to test the appeal on people looking to start a small screen printing business, (aka custom tshirts) show how they could make money, and on the problem of buying one - then present how they can have one for less.

          You dont try to sell women interested in gardening investment advice - you sell them a greener, lovelier garden. If your product can fulfill multiple appeals and you've maxed out your lists, the next thing is to test other markets. The amount of traffic for screen printing is going to be a little on the small side, so I was showing him what to do when he couldnt get any more exact search traffic.

          The answer isnt to simply add new keywords, its to appeal to another market. If you just add keywords itll flop because what appeals to one person doesn't appeal to the other.
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